


Among My Stillness, Was A Pounding Heart

by ila_moon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Breeding Kink, Claiming Bites, Earn Your Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Verse, Praise Kink, Reconciliation, Reunion Sex, Scent Marking, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome - F/M/M, there's sex in almost every chapter i think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:24:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 63,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ila_moon/pseuds/ila_moon
Summary: Sakura is an Omega who has a bone to pick with Alphas. It may have started as a result of her former sensei's estrangement of her after her presentation.They find their paths cross again and things get complicated as Sakura discovers things about her former sensei and finds herself trying to fight her biology.*Complete*





	1. a study on alphas

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an ABO fic, which I'm not sure is very well known in the Naruto fanfic universe. It's extremely popular among the Reylo ship community and I was immediately drawn to it. 
> 
> Kakashi and Sakura scream Alpha and Omega to me. This story has been stuck in my head for a pretty long time. I was extremely hesitant to post this because I had no idea how it would be received. But I guess there's only one way to find out!
> 
> I just want to be clear as to what I have envisioned for this fic. It's going to be heavy. Heavy as in it's going to be pretty dark and angsty. It's going to be extremely sexual too. I also wanted the writing style to be different too, since I feel like it's important in setting the tone. In short, the tone is going to be pretty different from Hungry Hearts, so I wouldn't recommend comparing the two. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter and that it sort of sets the tone for this fic :)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ila-dawn

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura didn't fuck Alphas. 

 

She let out a harsh breath as she entered the hospital. She wasn't in a particularly chipper mood as she entered the familiar sterile environment, thinking about how she was going to get through the day. Because you see, it was 'physical day'. Physicals for Alphas. Alphas who she needed to remind to take their blockers almost every time they came to visit. Alphas who she needed to keep in their place. Alphas who would look at her like she was their prey, leering at her and showing off their knots to her. 

 

But Sakura didn't fuck Alphas. 

 

You see, Sakura was an Omega, and according to 'biology', her body was designed for an Alpha's knot and cock. According to biology, her Omega status made it so that her one purpose in life was to find an Alpha mate and bear their children. Alphas and Omegas were seen as the one true pairing. Betas be damned to ever feel something as intense as the connection of an Alpha and Omega pair. 

 

But Sakura didn't fuck Alphas.

 

Pushing the door in to enter her office, she sat at her desk and booted up her computer to review her schedule for that day. It was no secret that Sakura was an Omega. She had presented when she turned 16; had her first heat when she was 20. She saw out her first heat alone, and did so with the few subsequent heats after that. Throughout those heats she had never wanted to seek out the assistance of an Alpha. Her virgin mind feared an Alpha's rut, often triggered by an Omega's heat. But her virgin Omega body practically begged for it. 

 

But Sakura didn't fuck Alphas. 

 

Her virginity was taken by a nice Beta boy. Someone she trusted not to go into rut and practically destroy her. Someone she could maybe rely on for her heats. And that had been the plan she went with at that point in time. Have a nice Beta to assist her when it came time for her heats. It seemed like a nice plan…

 

Until one night she had gotten a little too intoxicated with her Beta friend, Ino, and woke up the next morning to find that she had sex with an Alpha. She woke up to the most intoxicating scent. The Alpha lying next to her smelled like he had come fresh off a visit from the mountains; concentrated with that fresh mountain air, smoke from campfires and a hint of bourbon. What she was surprised to find was that she felt extremely relaxed and satisfied, like she had just had the most fantastic lay she had ever experienced in her life.

 

But Sakura didn't fuck Alphas. 

 

She had decided after that random encounter that maybe she would try one heat with an Alpha. One heat wouldn't do any harm, right? Besides, it's what her body wanted, practically _craved_ , and why would she deny what was basically biology? The center of her entire life. 

 

So, she saw her next heat out with an Alpha, and she found it to be the most exhilarating and mind-bending experience. The Alpha met her body's every need. He kissed her the way she needed to be kissed, touched her where she wanted to be touched, and fucked her just the way she needed to be fucked. Her heat had lasted 3 days with that Alpha. Two days shorter than it would have lasted if she went through it alone.

 

So, Sakura exclusively fucked Alphas for a almost a year. 

 

Until the incident. 

 

The incident that made her swear off Alphas for good. The incident that made her distrust almost all Alphas. The incident that completely changed her life and permanently changed her view on those _wretched_ Alphas. 

 

No. 

 

Sakura didn’t fuck Alphas. 

 

_Never would she fuck an Alpha ever again._

 

_________________ 

 

Sakura squinted at the bright screen as she looked over her schedule. Most of it was comprised of Alphas, since it was the day the hospital had set aside for their physicals. She thought it was a bit cruel that she had to be subject to this, due to her designation. Most of the nurses or doctors performing the physicals were Betas and if there were any Omegas like Sakura…

 

Well.

 

She just hoped they didn’t stoop low enough to stop taking their suppressants just so they could have a romp with an Alpha.

 

Alphas could be rowdy and bold, and Sakura really didn't have the patience for that. She didn't have it in her to feel the penetrative gaze of an Alpha roaming her body simply because of how she _smelled_. She didn't feel like dealing with overly enthusiastic Alphas pinching her ass or calling out obscenities. 

 

_You want my knot don't you, little Omega?_

 

The thought made her immediately tense. Maybe she’d be able to go to Tsunade to pull out of this. As a fellow Omega she understood Sakura’s discomfort with Alphas to a degree, but didn’t exactly understand where her hatred seemed to come from. With a deep breath to calm her nerves Sakura studied her schedule once more, finding her first set of patients. Her first two patients were Betas, just coming in for some routine checks that they had scheduled months in advance. That was all fine and good. She just needed to find her first Alpha patient.

 

She squinted a bit to read the short description.

 

**_Name: Hatake, Kakashi (#009720)_ **

**_Designation: Alpha_ **

**_Age: 39_ **

**_Height: 181.0 cm_ **

**_Weight: 67.5 kg_ **

**_Blood Type: O-_ **

****

She frowned, not feeling…anything really. Indifference? Her first Alpha patient was her former sensei. She had to admit, he wasn’t her _ideal_ patient but it was better than just some random Alpha. Given the current state of their relationship, he’d probably want to do anything possible to get it over and done with, which Sakura would be perfectly fine with.

 

Kakashi-sensei had never paid much attention to Sakura in all of the years that they had known each other. Sure, she wasn’t the most pleasant teenager to be around but despite all of the years they spent together, she never really felt like she truly belonged to Team 7. She wasn’t special like Naruto or Sasuke. To make matters worse, once Sakura presented, Kakashi seemed to forget she even existed. He wouldn’t so much as even look at her, which made her feel so small and irrelevant.

 

She hadn’t properly spent time with him in years, really. Sure, she had seen him around the village and he’d give her a short wave or nod, but if she ever got close enough, he would wrinkle his masked nose and sneer at her, as if her scent was just completely repulsive to him and would continue to abruptly disappear around a corner.

 

She sighed and brushed a hand through her hair. Either way, it was going to be an awkward encounter. She hadn’t had a proper conversation with Kakashi-sensei in years. She had no idea what to expect from this. For all she knew she could walk in there and find him jumping out the window at the first scent of her.

 

 _That would probably be ideal,_ she thought to herself as she pushed herself up from her chair and grabbed her charts. She grabbed her white coat and slipped it on then tied her hair up into a messy bun, taking in a few deep breaths, willing herself to just get through this day.


	2. a study on omegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up ;)

 

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

 

After ‘the incident’ Sakura decided to be placed on the highest dose of suppressants that were safe for human consumption. That way she wouldn’t have to constantly worry about Alphas throwing themselves at her at the first whiff of her scent, or better yet, her body goading her into seeking out an Alpha herself. She really hated that aspect of biology. That the mind and body were two completely different entities and without her suppressants, she would be under the whim of what her body was telling her to do.

 

_Please your Alpha_

_Soothe your Alpha_

_Be good for your Alpha_

It wasn’t like Omegas were rare, but they _were_ few and far between. It was almost as if Omegas were becoming a fad. Betas, who were seen as the most sexually docile compared to Alphas and Omegas, were suddenly beginning to seek out ways to masquerade as Omegas. Shops were even beginning to advertise special blends of perfume to attract Alphas. It all became so ridiculous to Sakura. She hated that her designation was basically the image of sex. She hated that Betas were jealous of what was _sexual harassment_ for goodness sake. At least that’s what Sakura took away from her day to day as an Omega.

 

Being an Omega was not an easy life to live. Everywhere she went she could feel the gaze of an Alpha on her. No matter how high the dosage of her suppressants, they always seemed to be able to sniff straight through it. Before she presented, she had such a whimsical and fairytale view of Alphas and Omegas. How romantic it would be, to be presented as an Omega to find your one true Alpha pair and have little Alpha or Omega babies.

 

Yes, it all seemed good and wonderful. Until it wasn’t.

 

 _Alright,_ Sakura thought to herself, _that’s enough pessimism for today_.

 

**********

 

Sakura found herself standing at the end of a long hallway, feet rooted to the floor, unable to find it within herself to move. She could see the room from where she was standing. Room 304. Her destination. The place where her former sensei was _hopefully_ already waiting for her. No amount of time in between seeing each other would make Sakura ever forget his persistent tardiness.

 

Clutching her clipboard to her chest she started making her way down the hallway. She could feel the light perspiration building under her arms and on her forehead. It was unsettling, realizing how on edge she was. She was _nervous_. She could tell. She approached the door and proceeded to do absolutely _nothing,_ finding herself in the same mindset she was in just moments ago at the other end of the hallway. She wondered if he could smell her. Her sensei had always had such a keen sense of smell. It was freakish, even for an Alpha. With a deep inhale and shaky hands, she rapped on the door twice. She promptly heard a soft and low,

 

_Come in._

 

And, _oh._

Oh, that voice.

 

 _Alpha_ , she could hear the inner monologue of her Omega practically purring, eager to come out and play.

 

She shook her head to rid of the Omega and banish her to the far depths of her mind. This was her former _sensei._ Righting herself, she gripped the handle of the door and pushed it down to let herself in. She immediately smelled that musk of what would be an Alpha. It was a scent that usually consisted of a sweet and savory tone. She had never gotten close enough to smell Kakashi’s particular scent, but she felt herself immediately drawn to it. Taking a deep breath before fully entering the room, she allowed herself to study his smell.

 

It was…different. She knew it was an Alpha but something was... _very_ different. She felt…

 

Warmth. Safety. Calmness. With other Alphas it was usually a chaotic blend that made her head dizzy, and not in a good way. But upon entering the room completely, the scent suddenly shifted. The welcoming and calming scent that soothed her soul had changed to…

 

Fear. Secrecy. Shame. It focused in on Sakura and that... confused her. She lifted her head to see her sensei sitting on the exam table, facing away from her. She could see that his head was hanging and he was impossibly tense. It made the Omega in her creep up and rear its nosy head.

 

_Alpha is displeased._

_Soothe your Alpha._

_PLEASE your Alpha._

She shook her head again, clearing her throat to signal that she was in the room. Ridding of the Omega once more she stood straight to try and display confidence and regain some control. She saw Kakashi turn his head slightly, giving her a suspicious look up and down.

 

Sakura nodded her head, making her presence known, “Hello, Kakashi-sensei. It’s been quite some time. I’m here to perform your annual physical. If all goes well you should be out of here in 20 minutes,” she said, trying to sound as stoic and professional as possible. The tension was practically permeating the room, practically suffocating her. She found herself wanting this ordeal over with just as much as she suspected he did. He didn’t say anything at first, just shifted uncomfortably on the exam bed.

 

 _How nice,_ she thought, _not even a word to me. After all the years._

 

When she approached him with her stethoscope, she could see him visibly wince. It took everything in her not to just throw her stethoscope in his face and march out the damn door. But one look at him and she decided against it. He looked like a wounded animal, waiting for his attacker to finish him off. It made Sakura’s blood boil and feel a small bit of sympathy at the same time.

 

She decided to just bite the bullet and do her job, approaching him and placing herself right at his front. She looked up at him so she could get a good look at his face. Well, his eyes, she supposed. She really hadn’t seen him in quite some time. It was odd being able to study his eyes so intently with him staring back at her. He looked so…

 

Sad. Confused... Ashamed?

 

She was jolted out of her thoughts when she heard him clear his throat, surprised that she had heard a sound emitting from him.

 

“And how have you been… Sakura-chan?” he asked softly, as if he was trying not to strain his voice, or he was keeping something in. She looked at him, a bit stunned at first, unsure of how to answer. She mentally shook her head and gave him a soft smile, placing the stethoscope on his chest.

 

“Oh, I’ve been fine. Same old same old. You know how it goes,” she responded, trying to keep things vague and simple so she wouldn’t scare him off with deep conversation. She could hear that his heart rate was fast, but she decided not to touch on it, assuming he was just nervous being around her. She placed a reassuring hand on his thigh to try and calm him as she got a better listen but it only seemed to make things worse. She should’ve known better. It was too bold a move, and she was just about to find out how bold.

 

His breathing quickened and when she looked back to his face his pupils had been blown wide. His eyes were staring intensely at a particular spot on her neck. With a confused look she brought her hand up to her neck and… _Oh._

Her scent gland.

 

It was left exposed, her hair hanging off the other side of her neck. She traced her hand over it and felt that it was pulsing, practically singing to be licked and soothed. She gasped and brought her gaze back to Kakashi. How had that happened? What had triggered her scent gland to become so agitated?

 

The look in Kakashi’s eyes was something she had never seen before in an Alpha. It was the look of someone who was going through immense inner turmoil. His gaze was locked on her gland and she could see he was keeping himself from leering at her, sweat starting to bead at the top of his head.

 

He suddenly shot up, spooking her and sending her backward onto the floor. She yelped in fear, uncertain of what Kakashi was going to do to her. Was he going to go into a blind rut just from her scent? Was he going to mount her and take her right there? Was he going to flee and leave her alone to lament?

 

No. He didn’t do any of that.

 

She brought her gaze up to his form and saw him cowered to the ground, on his knees and head in his hands. He was…whimpering? Her sensei was whimpering. He was deliberately looking away from her. She felt another shift in his scent and felt…

 

Ashamed. Contrite. Remorseful.

 

_Please your Alpha_

_Soothe your Alpha_

_Alpha needs you,_ her Omega crooned at her.

 

Unable to stop herself Sakura picked herself up from the floor, crawling over to her sensei who was kneeling a few feet before her, head cast downward and avoiding her gaze. She let her Omega instincts kick in, bringing her hands up to his face so that he would look at her. Boldly, she brought her hands up to his mask and pulled it down slowly.

 

The last time she had seen his face was years ago. They were on a mission and he had been wounded. A nasty gash to his neck. It took her a good five minutes to convince him to let her heal him, insisting that his mask come off. He had been so stubborn, almost as if he’d rather die. He eventually let her, hopefully with the realization that he was being utterly ridiculous.

 

That was the last time though, because it was the last time he _ever_ let her that close to him _again_.

 

So, with slightly shaky hands she pulled down his mask and was met with a surprisingly young face. The years had done little to age him. He still looked as if he were a young adult male, rather than a man who was soon to turn 40. Her finger traced the mole that rested on his chin, forgetting that little detail. Without even thinking she brought her lips to the mark on his chin, giving it a light peck. She rubbed her face against his, desperately trying to open him up to her. She then proceeded to position herself above him, bringing her knees to either side of him and straddling his hips. She brought her gland to his and proceeded to rub it, allowing her Omega pheromones to soothe him. She finally felt his muscles relax and give into her.

 

She didn’t know what was happening. Earlier that day she had gone through her morning routine of lamenting Alphas and here she was, so readily throwing herself into the lap of one and rubbing herself onto him. What made matters worse was she could feel the beginning of his hardness rub underneath her and it made her roll her head back and purr with pleasure. She felt him purring underneath her as well and it made her grin in self-satisfaction.

 

“ _Omega…_ ” she heard him hum against her neck, licking and sucking gently at her gland.

 

_Alpha is pleased_

Sakura slowly started grinding her hips into her former sensei’s lap, completely giving herself into her biology and getting lost into the sheer euphoric pleasure she was experiencing.

 

But then something changed. The air had suddenly been disturbed and she looked back down into the gaze of the Alpha, seeing that his eyes had narrowed on her and she sensed…

 

Danger. Hostility. Fear.

 

Suddenly she felt herself being thrown from his lab and onto the ground. With shaky hands she immediately pushed herself off the ground and onto her feet, looking up at him with wide eyes, confused and a little hurt. He backed her up into the wall behind her, pinning her with his heated gaze. He gave her an intense look of warning before saying in the most low and primal voice she had ever heard come out of a man,

 

“LEAVE, _now… Omega_.”

 

It was an Alpha command. The first Alpha command that had ever been used on her. Immediately she felt her body straighten and she gathered herself, promptly taking her things and leaving the room without a word or glance towards her former sensei.

 

She practically ran to her office, ignoring the confused glances of her colleagues that she was met with. She shut the door behind her and turned around to slide against it, cradling her head in her hands and letting the tears fall, feeling unwanted all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away by the response I've been getting for this little fic! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> There will definitely be a smattering of smut in almost every chapter from here on out. Whether it's between Sakura and Kakashi... well you'll just have to find out ;)


	3. heat

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

 

Sakura didn’t fuck Alphas.

 

She’d established that, right?

 

That had been her life’s mantra ever since _the incident._ After that fateful night, Sakura took her tired and broken limbs home, building herself a chrysalis of blankets and pillows, allowing herself to rest after such a harrowing heat.

 

She vowed that after that night she would never see her heats out with an Alpha ever again. She even went so far as convincing herself to see her heats out alone. Little did she know that after being with Alphas for so long, her body would want to rip from the inside out come her next heat when her body realized it was being deprived. Her next heat had taken place a few months after, much to her dismay. She still hadn’t quite recovered from her last heat and it made this one particularly… brutal.

 

That heat lasted 7 days. 7 days of writhing on the floor, her Omega surfacing and _begging_ for an Alpha’s cock to fill her with their cum. 7 days of bringing herself to orgasm after orgasm. 7 days of unbelievably soul-wrenching pain that almost nearly _killed_ her. Her abdomen and had been so bloated from the constant pain, screaming at her for relief.

 

After that heat Sakura looked within herself, needing a compromise of sorts. There was no way she could go through a heat like that, conversely, she couldn’t allow herself near an Alpha ever again. She was at an impasse, unable to think of a solution to her problem until…

 

_Yes._

_Betas._

Those lovely Betas. Those sweet Betas who treated her body like it was a work of art, careful not to break her. The were always so gentle, marveling at her body and grateful that an Omega would choose _them._ The Omega within her had been so greedy for an Alpha she hadn’t even given her past with Betas a second thought. That was what she needed, she concluded. She needed a Beta who would treat her body with tender care, not reckless abandon. Her Omega craved what Sakura didn’t. It wanted to be broken, split in half by pleasure, but Sakura could take no more. After that heat she sought out a Beta, and that Beta ended up being _hers._

_Hers_ to take when she wanted. _Hers_ to rely on when she needed him. _Hers_ to make her feel good and quench her thirst.

 

And that Beta’s name was Umino Iruka.

 

**********

 

A few days had passed after her confusing encounter with Kakashi. Amazingly, she had managed to get through the rest of the day without having a total meltdown. She didn’t exactly have a choice, but she had been so busy and decided to put her mind to work, focusing on her tasks for the day. She had finished with only _two_ Alphas flashing their knots at her and she decided to call that a win. She went home that day feeling drained, though. She was still so confused about what had transpired earlier that day. Her scent had been thrown all over the place. What she had been detecting hadn't made much sense. It had been so chaotic and she spent the entire day trying to piece it together. Their heated exchange made things even more complicated. So complicated that it was almost difficult to think about. She had practically _dry humped_ her former teacher. Let him _suckle_ and _nip_ at her neck. They hadn't spoken in years and all of a sudden were close to ripping their clothes off one another and do god knows what next.

 

She decided to smash the thought and carry on trying to repress it for now. Any time she thought back to that day it would make her incredibly anxious. But she did know one thing for certain; if she ever ran in to him she would _insist_ they speak about it. But now wasn't the time to obsess over it.

 

It was Thursday, her day off. She would usually stay huddled up at home. She had become quite the introvert over the years, enjoying the peace and quiet of her own company. However, if her friend Ino ever offered to take her out she’d normally take her up on it, not wanting to pass up an opportunity with her best friend. Plus, Ino was a nice sidekick. If ever an Alpha were making unwanted moves on Sakura, she would promptly tell them to fuck off or she’d kick them in their prospective knots. Sakura was really appreciative of that.

 

She decided to spend her day doing light house chores. She had always enjoyed keeping her house clean, hating coming back home to a mess after a long day of work. Wiping her forehead, she noticed an unusually high amount of perspiration and found that she was more winded than she thought was normal. She had only done, what? Vacuum the carpet, empty the dishwasher… surely she shouldn’t be getting winded just from that?

 

She then suddenly felt a very painful cramp low in her abdomen that made her keel over. Gripping her stomach she winced at the sudden pain, a gush of wetness coming down her legs.

 

 _No, no no no no…_ she chanted like a prayer to herself, clutching her stomach and making her way to the calendar that she had tacked onto the fridge. She traced her finger, looking for where she had marked her last heat. It had only been a month ago… what she was feeling couldn’t possibly be it. She closed her eyes, trying not to focus on the pain so she could search within herself as to why this was happening. She hadn’t eaten anything out of the ordinary so it wasn’t indigestion and honestly, pain like this felt very similar to what she didn’t want to admit to it being. She had been taking her suppressants religiously so it wasn’t from her bring careless.

 

Unless…

 

_No._

It couldn’t be.

 

Sakura knelt to the ground, another crippling pain bringing her to her knees.

 

It was Kakashi. Of-fucking-course it was. Their encounter had triggered her heat. She had read the studies about spontaneous heats and her mind drifted to their heated interaction. When she had straddled him and he proceeded to lap at her scent gland. It must have triggered something. Sakura mentally cursed herself and stated wracking through her brain.

 

 _Iruka,_ she thought.

 

But what if he was busy? They had always planned her heats and it was in the middle of the day. Surely he’d be busy and wouldn’t be able to assist her like he had been the past couple of years. And if he could he’d have to go to Tsunade and put in an unexpected heat leave which was a big no-no. Tsunade had already known about their arrangement, the only other person who knew, since she had to approve of such requests.

 

Sakura and Iruka had grown close over the years before she approached him with her offer after that one traumatic heat. He was a bit reluctant, and not because he wasn’t attracted to her but because of what he had been to her. He had seen her grow up and though she was far from that little girl he used to know, he couldn’t help but feel wrong. Sakura insisted that she couldn’t be with an Alpha, not offering a reason why but it was obvious she was scared. She needed someone older, someone wiser. Someone who wouldn’t take advantage of her and above all, someone she could trust. And she trusted Iruka with her life.

 

So, he found himself agreeing. The rest was history thus the beginning of their arrangement of Sakura scheduling her heats and him assisting her the entire way. It had become a nice dynamic. He was sweet and sensual and patient. She loved the way he felt inside her and soon the need for an Alpha’s cock had dissipated. Her body learned to love his and for the first time Sakura felt like she had a grip on her biology. For the first time she felt like she had a grip on _herself._

So, with shaky hands she took out her pager that she specifically used for Iruka. She sent him a simple message that read,

 

**_HEAT EMERGENCY. COME ASAP._ **

 

And all she could do was wait, huddled on the floor and praying that he came before it was too late.

 

**********

 

Iruka had been at the training grounds, watching a new group of academy students practicing what they had learned in class. He wasn’t teaching this group but found himself wandering over to this particular part of the village to offer up an assistance since he had a free afternoon, tired of aimlessly wandering around and succumbing to his own thoughts.

 

It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. He didn’t have much planned except for meeting a group of friends at the bar later. It was something to look forward to. He valued friends such as Kakashi, Yamato, Asuma and Kurenei. They had known each other for so long and times like these, it was rare that they all be in the same village at the same time, so they would never pass up an opportunity to all get together.

 

He was promptly brought out of his thoughts when he felt an incessant buzzing coming from his pants pocket.

 

 _Odd,_ he thought. That pager was only used for Sakura. He dug through his pants to extract the little device that he made a habit of carrying around with him. He fished out the pager and squinted, bringing a hand over it so that he could read the small text over the oppressive shine of the sun that was still high in the sky.

 

 ** _HEAT EMERGENCY. COME ASAP,_** it had read. Iruka froze in place, stomach dropping and breaking into a cold sweat. He had never gotten a message like that from her before. Emergency? Heat? But, her next heat wasn’t scheduled for another, what? Two months?

 

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked around, planning how he was going to make himself scarce. The jounin who was watching over the students had looked perfectly content without Iruka’s assistance. Surely he wouldn’t care if he just up and left? It really didn’t matter. This was an emergency and he needed to get to Sakura ASAP. If the years they had spent together taught him anything, it was that an Omega in heat alone was about the most dangerous of situations they could find themselves in.

 

**********

 

It had taken Iruka about 20 minutes to get to the other side of town. He practically sprinted but didn’t want to call too much attention to himself. He needed to get to Sakura, and fast. The longer she was by herself the worse her state would be by the time he got to her. He came up to her apartment complex, sprinting up the stairs and approached  her door. He didn’t even bother knocking. He just fished for her keys in his pocket and promptly unlocked the door.

 

He was immediately met with the smell of her sex. It practically permeated the apartment and set his mind through a tizzy. She must have been in distress, bringing herself to orgasm herself. He tried to suppress a groan, needing to be prepared for her, though his growing erection made it clear it wouldn’t take long. Just the evidence of her arousal that wafted through the apartment was enough to give him an instant boner.

 

He made his way through her spacious apartment, calling her name as he searched for her. He found himself in front of her bedroom and immediately heard a series of moans that belonged to a certain pink haired woman he was so desperately looking for. Grasping the door handle he pushed it open and his eyes immediately darkened at the sight he saw.

 

Before him was Sakura, practically spread eagle, plunging her fingers into her dripping pussy. There was already a wet spot on the bed, evidence that she had brought herself to multiple orgasms. His eyes almost rolled completely back as he groaned her name, already undoing his pants so he could climb over to her eagerly awaiting form.

 

Her eyes opened and through a half-lidded gaze she gave him a heated stare and was positively _singing_ through waves of pleasure upon seeing that he was there to save her.

 

“ _Iruka…_ ” she crooned, bringing her free hand to her clit and swirling her fingers around it, letting her head fall back against the pillows. Iruka promptly ridded himself of all of his clothing so that he could relieve her as fast as possible. Discarding his boxer-briefs he immediately climbed onto the bed and hovered over her, shooing her hands away and bringing his own finger to her sex, teasing her folds and feeling her twitch at his touch. He smirked as she writhed underneath him, begging for him to touch her more. He proceeded to dip his finger into her, testing her wetness even more and finding her more than ready for him. He extracted his finger and she whined, but immediately stopped when she felt his cock at her entrance. He nuzzled her neck and placed his arms on either side of her before plunging himself deep inside of her waiting pussy.

 

She screamed his name at the instant relief and wrapped her arms and legs around him, feeling him bottoming out into her.

 

His cock easily sheathed into her, the slick that was running down her legs making it easy for him to slide in and out without any restraint. He brought his head down to her chest, nuzzling one of her breasts and bringing a nipple into his mouth, proceeding to suck and swirl his tongue around the already sensitive bud. She sang to him, her moans sounding like a symphony of music as he brought her to orgasm after orgasm. She felt tears stinging at the sides of her eyes at the sheer force of them, the feeling of his cock filling her up instantly dissolving the pain she was trying to relieve herself of.

 

Her gaze locked on Iruka and he brought his forehead to hers, quickening his pace in search for his own orgasm. The sounds of their lovemaking echoed through the room and his focus on it brought it to a head. He kept his eyes on her, focusing on her little gasps and her breath so close to his mouth. They never kissed. Not once. That wasn’t was this was about. It was too intimate for this kind of arrangement between them, and they both were completely fine with that.

 

He let out a low groan as he pounded into her, chasing his orgasm and spilling himself into her. He let himself remain hovered over her for a moment, looking into Sakura’s emerald eyes and allowing himself to get lost in them, if only for a moment. He gave her a peck on the nose and a quick nuzzle before pulling himself out and rolling next to her on the bed, pulling the sheet over her as she turned over and huddled into his form, laying her head on his chest.

 

She focused on his steadying breath and allowed herself to drift into a dreamless sleep, knowing that when she woke her faithful Beta would be right beside her, ready to give her _anything_ she needed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was probably a whirlwind of a chapter. KakaSaku is endgame but her relationship with Iruka is ESSENTIAL to the story. I tried to keep the smut light but what can I say, I kinda like Iruka. 
> 
> Be prepared for scenes with Kakashi with different women as well. It's all a part of them finding their way to each other. I told you this story is heavy ;)
> 
> Another thing, I won't be able to update until next week. My daughter and I are going on a trip to visit my brother in Oregon and I'll literally have no time at all to work on stuff. I have the next chapter's outline done so I'll be able to post soon after I get back.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and it didn't upset you too much!


	4. thursday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi wakes to some guests and reflects on his encounter with Sakura

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Kakashi woke Thursday morning feeling relatively… refreshed. For one thing he wasn’t awoken by a cold sweat and throbbing cock. He had been in rut for the past two days; the longest it had ever lasted for him. If he were a normal Alpha, he’d be able to take off a whole day to beat it off and that’d do the trick. But his ruts were always stubborn to relieve and always had at least something do with a certain pink haired kunoichi. Shit, he’d see the color pink and his cock would twitch in his pants. And the way she smelled…

 

You see, Kakashi was a man of many gifts, one being his keen sense of smell. He had always been thankful for this particular gift. It was useful in many ways, especially when he was on missions, but the day his former student presented… he wished he could be rid of it in an instant. He found her scent intoxicating… invigorating… dangerously attractive. It made him think things of a 16-year-old that made him feel even more perverted than he already was. So, he found himself staying away from her. He couldn’t allow himself, a 30-year-old man, completely ruin a 16-year-old _girl._ Over the years he had learned how to cope with the fact that he’d never be able to have her, and thus far it has worked fine and well.

 

So yes… he woke that Thursday feeling refreshed. Reborn. Invigorated.

 

And it probably had something to do with the two Omega women he had in either arm. They were curled into him, still sound asleep. He had picked them up last night, he remembered, at a local club that specialized in bringing Alphas and Omegas together. Usually Alphas finding themselves in rut or Omegas seeking out Alphas for their heats. Disgusting places they were, really, but he found himself desperate seeing he had already jerked off at least 10 times and was finding no relief.

 

That’s where he found these women. They were beautiful, he supposed, in a conventional way. They had fairly symmetrical faces. The one on his right had red hair and a smattering of freckles on her pale skin. The one on his left had darker skin with chestnut brown hair. Yes… they were beautiful,

 

But not as beautiful as Sakura. He found his mind drifting to her, for the millionth time.

 

Sakura was… goddess like. With her unconventional hair and eyes. She looked as if she were not of this world. And her scent. God… her scent. The day she presented he almost suffocated by the sheer intoxication of it. She smelled like she was the embodiment of spring; flowers in bloom, freshly grown grass, rushing river water and the way the wind whipped that day swirled all of those flavors together to practically _suffocate_ him.  

 

He groaned, feeling his erection start to stir. He needed to get up and shake it off. With his ninja-like stealth he pried himself out of the comforting grip of the two Omegas, sitting at the edge of the bed and looking over to their naked, sleeping forms. They cuddled into each other, sensing his absence in their sleep. They looked so… innocent.

 

He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair and got himself up to walk down the hall to his kitchen, feeling extremely parched after a night of thorough fucking. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet he proceeded to fill it at the sink, bringing it up to his lips to take a sip, staring out the window in front of him. The sun had risen maybe an hour ago, the light just starting to shine through the window. He turned from the sink and made his way to his kitchen table, sitting his naked form down on the chair and drumming his fingers on his glass of water.

 

The quiet and stillness of the early morning caused him to reflect deep within himself, much to his chagrin, and he started thinking about how he even got in this situation. Not the Omegas, he had had plenty of Omegas before. Whether they were threesomes… orgies… it really didn’t matter. He found himself needing more during his ruts. One Omega just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t anything to complain about but…

 

The reason was clear as to why his ruts lasted so long and were so sporadic. There was a reason why he couldn’t just rely on one Omega to get him out of these aggressive ruts.

 

And with that last thought he was immediately pulled into the hell he had found himself in a few days ago, when he was due for his annual physical at the hospital…and his run in with a certain pink haired Omega.

 

_ Monday _

__

_Kakashi found himself outside of the hospital, hands in his pockets and taking a deep breath, looking up towards the sky. He hated hospitals. Did everything he could to avoid them but, the physicals, they weren’t something he could just push off. If he had, Tsunade would be on him before he could even finish rescheduling, pulling him by the ear to do the examination herself._

_He grimaced at that, unconsciously shielding his privates in fear of her destructive antics. She really needed to get her anger checked out. If he hadn’t already known her designation, he would’ve immediately pegged her as an Alpha. Alpha women were rare but a minute with the Godaime and you would have every reason to suspect that._

_The thought of an angry Tsunade was about the only thing that convinced Kakashi to be on time for this appointment. So, with a semi-defeated sigh he moved his legs and walked into the entrance of the hospital. It held a similar resemblance to any other hospital facility, there really wasn’t anything special about it. Though today he found himself staring out into a sea of Alphas. You would think he’d feel right at home but in all actuality, it put Kakashi on edge. He always found young Alphas to be extremely immature. He honestly couldn’t blame some Omega women for mating older. There were many times when he’d be assisting an Omega through her heat and she’d suddenly beg to be claimed. Mating was never his thing and that probably had something to do with the fact that in all of the Omegas he had been with, he never got the urge. Not once._

_There was one Omega though that he feared he would feel it. No, he was almost_ certain _he would._

_Slamming that thought out of his head he made his way to the stairwell and began his climb up to the third floor where he was told that the older patients would be getting their physicals. It insulted him, honestly, he wasn’t a damn geriatric for Kami’s sake. He was 39, soon to be 40. That wasn’t old now was it?_

_He brought himself to the front desk and checked in, prompting a nice-looking Beta nurse to escort him to his room. Upon entering he immediately made his way over to the exam bed, allowing himself to meditate a bit and focus on the scents he could pick up. He was searching for one in particular. He knew Sakura worked at the hospital almost exclusively now, one of the reasons he avoided it like the plague. He closed his eyes and took a deep inhale, searching deeper but unable to find anything. That meant she was either not there or was on a different floor and that was enough to satisfy the nervousness that had built up in his stomach._

_He exhaled and brushed a hand through his hair, scratching his head and bringing it back down to the exam bed, allowing himself to lean back and relax a bit before he had to have his junk fondled by some Beta… or an Omega. He snickered and allowed himself to be juvenile and fantasize at the thought for a bit._

_But then he sensed something. His nostrils flared as he zeroed in on what he was scenting. Something that hit him like a freight train out of thin air. He turned his head towards the door as he heard the handle turn, momentarily stop, then turn again._

_He sensed hesitation on the other side._

_But also, that intoxicating scent he had been failing miserably to repress over the years and had been hiding from; the same scent he suspected was on the other side of the door. His gaze immediately shot back around to the window at the other side of the room, wondering if he had time to escape but before he could even leap up and check how feasible that plan would be the door swung open and he almost collapsed from where he was sitting at the force of that scent._

_It practically swallowed up the whole_ damn _room._

 

S _he had cleared her throat and said… something? Probably some cordial bullshit so she wouldn’t have to make polite conversation with him. He wasn’t an idiot. She probably hated his guts. Pushing her away and practically acting like she was_ diseased _did not help their relationship much. But he didn’t have a choice really. The thoughts he had about a 16-year-old were enough to throw him in jail forever._

_He was torn out of his thoughts by her standing right in front of him and Kami, she was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his entire 39 years in this world. He hadn’t been this close to her in, well, he didn’t think he had ever been_ this _close to her._

_She suddenly raised a hand to him._

_What the hell was she doing? Was she going to touch him? It took everything in him not to audibly groan at the thought. It took everything in him not to pick her up and slam her into the exam table, ripping off her clothes and plunging himself into her._

_He cleared his throat, trying to will himself to say something to her. Fucking_ anything _to pull him out of that train of thought, “And how have you been… Sakura-chan?” he practically choked out sounding like a damn pre-pubescent child. Yeah, great first thing to ask her after years of barely speaking. How are you? You probably hate me and want nothing to do with me but how the hell are ya anyway?_

_Thankfully she seemed pleased that he had asked and she had said something that honestly he hadn’t even heard. She had brought a stethoscope to his chest and the close contact and her damn scent were making him dizzy. He couldn’t fucking think straight and he knew for sure he was breathing like a damn predatory animal stalking its prey._

_And then she had to go and put her_ fucking _hand on his thigh like that would make things any better. For Kami’s sake he was barely holding on when she was on the other side of the door. And if things couldn’t get any worse, well, he was dead wrong._

_Her damn scent gland was exposed, throbbing, glistening at him. It was practically begging for him to suck at it and give it a taste. It was like she was offering herself to him. She couldn’t be doing that, could she? She obviously had harbored negative feelings towards him over the years so this must be a mistake. But the exposed gland was singing to him. Begging for him to come closer and lick every inch of her perfect Omega body._

Omega _… his Alpha mind crooned at him._

Omega needs your knot, Alpha… _his traitorous Alpha mind hummed at him. Kakashi growled and found himself lashing out, trying to clear his mind, proceeding to knock Sakura down and onto the floor and heard her scared yelp permeating his mind. His Alpha had taken full control by now and he found himself on the floor, cowering before her, ashamed of his actions. He had frightened his Omega._

_His Omega?_

_Now he was really losing it. He kept himself in his cowered position, no trusting himself to move or so much as look in her direction. The Alpha within him whimpered like a wounded animal, seeking comfort and reassurance from the Omega he had knocked to the ground. He waited for her to leave so that he could recover on his own, needing to banish his Alpha to the far corners of his mind before his actions grew beyond his control._

_But then the most curious thing happened. He thought his body was deceiving him but he felt a warmness start spreading through his body, signaling that something was coming. He allowed himself to glance over and he thought he had been hallucinating because she was coming towards him._

_He_ really _started thinking he had been hallucinating when she stripped him of his mask and all he could do was just stare at her like an idiot. And then she proceeded to swing her legs over him and straddle him.  And if that didn’t make matters worse, he could feel her start grinding herself into him and he nearly died right there. This was a thing of dreams for him and he couldn’t help but indulge himself. Like a child with a lollipop he lapped at her scent gland, eyes rolling to the back of his head and humming into her neck at the sheer euphoric taste of it. Her little moans and gasps sent a shiver down his spine and heat in between his legs. He could hear her purring. The Omega of his dreams was_ actually _purring on top of him._

_And then he was suddenly slammed back into his senses. His mind started going through all of the reasons that he absolutely_ could not _be doing this. There was a reason he kept himself away from her. She deserved better than him, not matter how compatible their biology may be. She deserved so much better._

_And with that final thought he wrenched himself out from under her, causing her to fall backward once again. He watched her pick herself up and proceeded to give him…_

_The most hurt look he had ever seen in his life. More hurt than she had ever looked when Sasuke had up and left numerous times. More hurt than the times she thought he didn’t notice her…no._

_This was devastation. Betrayal._

_But he couldn’t let himself get hung up on it. The more she hated him the better. The more she despised the idea of him the easier this whole fucked up situation between the two of them would be. So, he commanded her to leave. He embraced the Alpha, commanding the Omega to leave the room, and she did. She fled, like any good and obedient Omega would for her Alpha._

_Except he wasn’t her Alpha, and she wasn’t his Omega. And that’s how it would remain._

_It had to._

**********

 

And that’s how he ended up in this moment, contemplating while naked at his kitchen table. Three days, two omegas and the end of a rut later and Kakashi was feeling…  rather sated.

 

A rustling sound and footsteps broke him out of his thoughts and he turned his head slightly, angled towards the noise that had come from behind him. One of the Omegas had gotten up; the one with the red hair. She was a young thing; in her 20s. He suspected her friend was the same age too. Timidly, she started to approach him and walked around his sitting form, placing herself at his front. She was still very much naked. He leaned forward and placed kisses on her stomach, to which she proceeded to bring her hand to his shoulder for balance and leaned her head back, purring at the contact.

 

“Are you hungry, little Omega?” he murmured into her skin and she nodded, biting her lip in a coy manner and looking at him with her green eyes.

 

Green… Emerald almost.

 

Like Sakura's.

 

His cock twitched at the thought and he studied her coy smile. She was hungry for something else, it seemed. He growled and immediately swung her leg over his lap so that she was straddling him. She raised herself over his already hardened member and plunged herself down onto him, bringing herself up and down slowly at first. He sighed at the feeling of her, mumbling the typical sweet nothings into her neck, asking if she was ready for his knot.

 

She nodded her head eagerly when he prompted her with that question and he found himself pounding into her even faster, grabbing her hips with a vice grip that was sure to bruise her. He was fucking her viciously, eager to knot her and pump her full of his cum. He licked at her scent gland and she yelped, circling her hands to the nape of his neck and grabbing a tuft of hair, tilting his face upward and bringing their lips together. He loved how she tasted and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to Sakura, wondering how she’d taste.

 

It was fucked up beyond compare, but he’d always end up imagining them as Sakura. Without fail. No matter how beautiful they all were. It made the experience so much more erotic. In that moment when her image flooded his mind and he imagined her fucking herself on him he felt his balls tightened. He hissed and pulled back from her kiss, closing his eyes and immersing himself in the fantasy.

 

He imagined how soft her pale skin would feel under his calloused hands.

 

How her wonderful and bare breasts would feel rubbing against his chest.

 

How her nipples would taste as he massaged them with his tongue.

 

How her soaked pussy would feel clenched around his cock.

 

The sounds she would make when he’d be slamming into her.

 

It was all becoming too much and he felt the Omega’s walls clenching around him. Her little shrills and gasps drove him closer to his own orgasm, “You want my knot, little one?” he growled at her and she practically cried her response. He let out a low groan as he felt his knot swell and lock onto her, emptying himself deep within her.

 

Their glistening bodied stayed like that for awhile as he trailed wet kisses along her collarbone. Still locked together by his knot he picked the Omega up with ease, finding she weighed next to nothing. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck as he walked them back to his bedroom where the other Omega still laid asleep. As his knot let up, he slowly placed the Omega he had just fucked back on the bed where she curled back into the other’s sleeping form.

 

Kakashi sighed, running a hand through his hair and proceeded to make his way to the bathroom, needing a shower after the night and morning he had. He started thinking about his day and what he could get away with getting out of or being late for. He didn’t have any real obligations except for meeting with some friends later that day.

 

He smiled softly to himself, finding that he was actually looking forward to it. Maybe then he could hopefully forget about how much of a disgusting old man he felt he was...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from Portland! I was in a coffee shop with some down time and found the desire to edit this chapter!
> 
> Whew. 
> 
> I know it's probably a bit hard imagining Sakura and Kakashi with other people but again, it's pretty essential to the story. 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed getting into Kakashi's headspace. From here on out the chapters will switch between POVs.
> 
> Next chapter will be a split. First half Sakura, second Kakashi. And we'll see how Kakashi reacts to scenting a certain someone on Iruka ;)


	5. secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kakashi makes some surprising discoveries about sakura and iruka
> 
> also, i mentioned in the last chapter that i'd include a primer on abo:   
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/403644/chapters/665489  
> you really only need to skim the first 2 chapters. there are definitions on heats, knotting, mating cycles etc. it's pretty detailed. WAY more detailed than i care to include in the fic, so definitely skip the stuff on assbabies (i just learned about that...)

*

*

*

*

*

 

“Fuck… Iruka… FUCK, oh my god!” Sakura exclaimed, head face down and to the side as she breathed through the repetitive crack of his hips against her ass. She brought herself up to her elbows and grabbed the headboard with her hands, perching her ass up higher as Iruka fucked her from behind. His grip on her hips was bruising but it only made her crave it even more. She bit her lip, hard, extending her neck back and letting out shaky breaths as she immersed herself in the feeling of his rock-hard cock slipping effortlessly in and out of her soaked pussy. She was so wet it was practically coming down her legs.

 

With her ass higher he was able to drive into her even faster, setting a punishing pace as he was growing closer to orgasm. She was impossibly wet, something you could only witness with an Omega in heat. She had been practically slick with her juices the entire afternoon, foregoing any kind of clothing since they would just get drenched with sweat and her fluids. They stripped the bed too, finding that the extra cushioning just got in the way of their fucking.

 

It had only been a few hours since she initially paged him and they had practically been fucking back to back. This heat seemed particularly aggressive and Iruka was beginning to think he wouldn’t be able to make it to the bar with his friends. It honestly didn’t upset him too much. Sakura’s heats were a wonder of the world and he loved every minute of them. He considered himself lucky that Sakura chose him of all people to see out her heats. It was unheard of, really. An Omega that was sexually involved with a Beta but he decided not to ask questions. She seemed to love being with him in these moments almost as much as he loved being with her.

 

Iruka maintained his grip on her hips and briefly pulled himself out so that he could turn her around. He wanted to see her face when she came, screaming his name. With her on her back he took a breather to just observe her. She was such a gorgeous creature. If it weren’t for this arrangement and her designation, he’d have her. She was beautiful, smart, funny, witty… everything a man would want, really.

 

Except she didn’t belong to him. She would never be his to claim; because he technically _couldn’t_ claim. It was biology. No matter how much it seemed she wanted nothing to do with Alphas she needed to come to terms with the fact that nature was going to take its course. Omegas who remained unmated were just making things more difficult for themselves.

 

It was all biology in the end. Betas belonged to Betas and Omegas belonged to Alphas. And vice versa.

 

He needed to savor these moments he had with Sakura. It wasn’t that he was in love with her, per se. He was definitely very fond of her but he couldn’t afford to fall in love with her. She deserved an Alpha. As an Omega she deserved that fairytale ending of finding her one true pairing. Her soulmate. He was out there; waiting for her. To his understanding, he was just there to assist her and buy her time. That was their arrangement, and he had to be okay with it.

 

He tore his eyes away from her, lining himself up to her soaked entrance and plunged his weeping cock back inside her with one snap of his hips. She immediately arched her back, feeling impossibly filled and brought her hands up above her head, grasping at the headboard with a death grip. He watched her breasts bounce up and down at the contact of his hips snapping against hers, gripping her waist tighter and taking all of her in. She was biting her lip, looking at him through hazy eyes and he didn’t think she could look any more beautiful.

 

“Come for me, Sakura, I need to see you come,” he crooned and she nodded eagerly, bringing a hand past her breasts, down her stomach and to her clit, rubbing it furiously as she kept her eyes on him. She brought her other hand to her nipple and began rolling it between her fingers, needing as much stimulation as possible so that they could both have mind-bending orgasms. He was fucking her viciously now, chanting her name like a prayer as his vision began to blur. His pace began to break as he felt his orgasm wash over him, his cock twitching violently inside her as he felt her walls clench around him. He let out a breath like he had been punched in the gut and grabbed the headboard above her to steady himself.

 

They stayed in that position for a few moments, allowing themselves to catch their breath after that particularly intense round. Iruka brought his hand down from the headboard and brought it to the side of her face, giving her an affectionate rub of his thumb across her cheek before leaning back on his heels and pulling himself out. She hummed, seemingly satisfied and pulled the sheets up to cover herself. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before swinging himself to the side of the bed, “I’ll get you some water,” he prompted and she gave him a small smile before curling into herself.

 

He made his way towards her kitchen, stark naked to fetch her a large glass of water. Omegas in heat needed a constant supply of food and water so he checked in her fridge as well to make sure they were well stocked. He frowned, finding that the refrigerator was basically empty. He supposed he could go out for just a bit to get some groceries for the two of them, seeing they would probably be holed up in her apartment for the next few days. He made his way to the cupboard to grab a glass and proceeded to fill it at the sink, shutting off the faucet and exiting the kitchen to bring it back to Sakura.

 

He entered her bedroom to find her almost sound asleep. He placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her gently, needing her to drink before they did anything else. She sat up on one arm, eagerly taking the glass and almost downing it in one go. He chuckled, taking the empty glass from her and sat himself on the edge of the bed.

 

“I checked your fridge; it’s practically empty.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a blush, slightly embarrassed, “I was going to go today since it’s my day off but… well,” she trailed off, bringing her gaze back to him.

 

“Right,” he said, giving her a lopsided grin and bringing his hand to the back of his neck, giving it a rub,” Well, if you think you’ll be okay for about an hour I can run out and do it for you.”

 

Sakura frowned, “Iruka, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

 

“You need the sustenance, Sakura, you know that. And I’ll need it too. I’m doing it for the both of us,” he reasoned, knowing she was too proud to have anyone do anything just for her. She sighed, nodding her head and bringing the covers back over her naked form.

 

“I should be fine by myself for about an hour,” she assured him, bringing her hand out from under the covers to grab a hold of his to give it a squeeze. She gave him a look of longing before letting go, allowing him to get himself dressed.

 

“I’ll also need to pay a visit to Tsunade… tell her we’re on heat leave,” he said, lifting off from the bed and bringing himself to a stand, turning to face her. Sakura nodded, knowing the protocol. She had never had a surprise heat, so it was a little inconvenient but not so much so that they’d be reprimanded. She would just explain to Tsunade sometime later what caused it. But maybe leave out the fact that the Alpha that triggered it was her former sensei…

 

Iruka nodded back to her, both having a mutual understanding of the plan they had put in place. He made his way around her bedroom, picking up his clothes that had been scattered around to put them back on and make his way out of her apartment. The sooner he could get these errands done the better.

 

********** 

 

Kakashi found himself walking aimlessly, nose stuffed in his book but not really reading any of the passages. He had probably read this volume of Icha Icha 20 times, so he knew some of it by heart. He had been walking for the past hour, deciding to let his legs take him wherever. He needed the fresh air, after all.

 

The two Omega women he had spent the last 12 hours with had left shortly after a final round in the shower with him. He had intended to take one by himself but soon found he was not alone. A few minutes after he had stepped in under the hot spray, they were upon him. It had been quite pleasant and he would never turn down a good lay, especially two Omegas who were eager to begin their work on him. With expert precision they both scrubbed him down, rubbing their bodies on his to help lather him up, using the slick of the soap to take turns stroking him. They all took their turns pleasing one another, one positioned at his cock while the other allowed him to stroke her, exchanging passionate kisses and enjoying the pleasure they were all receiving.

 

Nothing would ever become of those romps, though. Kakashi could never bring himself to let that happen. These encounters were only ever distractions and he was well aware of that. It was never about love, or falling in love, hell even finding love. It was only ever about fucking, and keeping himself sane because he knew full well that the person he would only ever want, he could never have.

 

Kakashi sighed, snapping his book shut and stuffing it back in his pocket, realizing he had been flipping through the pages aimlessly, not having read or internalized a single word. He glanced up at the large building he had stumbled upon and realized that he was standing outside of the Hokage Tower. He cast his gaze a few yards away from the building and furrowed his brow, thinking he saw a few familiar faces huddled together. The two attached to the hip were man and women; one with dark hair and skin and the other with dark hair and pale skin. The other who stood across from them had his hair pulled up in a ponytail and a scar across his nose that Kakashi would recognize anywhere.

 

“Yo!” he called out, taking a hand out from his pocket and giving them a short wave. Asuma, Kurenai and Iruka all looked in his direction, giving him a warm smile and waving back, signaling for him to join them. He smiled underneath his mask, finding he needed the distraction of his friends to get his mind of certain things before he found himself needing to find some company again.

 

As he made his way closer to the group his nose twitched. He had sensed something familiar. Hesitating, he began to study it before moving forward towards the group.

 

_Fresh flowers… honeydew… rushing river water…_

It was Sakura’s distinctive scent. And it was _strong._ It was enough to make his legs cripple from underneath him. He looked around maniacally, needing to plan an escape if she was near. He couldn’t stand seeing her after their encounter at the hospital. If he saw her, he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop himself from taking her right there in the street.

 

But he couldn’t find her anywhere. His eyes had been darting from every which direction and he _could not find her_. He started thinking he was going crazy, so crazed by her scent that maybe he was starting to imagine it. He shook it off momentarily when he looked towards his group of friends and saw that they were studying him, perplexed by his odd behavior. But as he made his way closer the scent got more intense. It made absolutely no sense to Kakashi and he found himself about ready to lose his mind as he came closer to the three figures standing just ahead of him.

 

He found himself standing right next to them and he felt himself getting dizzy. It was the same sensation he felt when Sakura was standing right in front of him at the hospital, when she had placed her hand on his thigh. He closed his eyes and took a deep inhale, seeing if he could track it instead but nothing went as far as right in from of him.

 

“Kakashi?” he heard a man prompt and he opened his eyes to bring his gaze to Iruka, knowing the voice had belonged to him, “You alright there, man?” he asked, looking a tad concerned for his friend. Kakashi gave him a short nod, finding himself studying him and then zeroed in on his vest. His pupils had dilated and he felt his blood boil. There on his green vest.

 

_Pink._

 

A strand of pink hair on his vest.

 

He had _Sakura’s hair_ on his vest.

 

And he practically _reeked_ of her.

 

With a low and primal growl Kakashi took out a kunai and charged at Iruka, using all of his strength to fly him into the wall of the residential building that they had all been standing behind. Once Iruka’s back hit the brick wall he let out a huff as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Kakashi held the kunai to Iruka’s neck, breathing low and baring his teeth at the _Beta_ before him. Kakashi was long gone. The Alpha within him had taken full control, ready to defend what was _his._

 

“Kakashi, what the hell are you doing?!” Iruka grunted, squirming slightly under Kakashi’s death grip and giving him a look of shock. Asuma and Kurenai ran up to the scene but stepped back, sensing this was an Alpha matter and knowing that getting in the way of a distressed Alpha could easily get more than one person seriously hurt.

 

“I could ask the same of you _Beta_ ,” Kakashi spat at him, “You _reek_ of her,” he growled, pinning the writhing man underneath him with a dark and intense stare, pushing the kunai a bit deeper into his jugular.

 

“Who are you talking about?” Iruka shouted, clearly becoming more distressed, having no idea why his friend was acting like this.

 

“Sakura!” he seethed, “Why do you have her scent all over you?” Kakashi pressed, sounding more and more desperate, his voice slightly breaking.

 

“I- I can’t tell you!” Iruka answered, giving his friend a pleading look, hoping he’d snap out of this Alpha trance he was in. He gave Kakashi a hint of a confused look though, not understanding why he was so upset about him smelling like Sakura.

 

“You fucking will or I’ll make you, Beta!” Kakashi snarled, keeping the kunai pressed to Iruka’s neck and staring into his eyes, willing him to speak the truth.

 

“Fine! Fine, alright. Sakura and I… we have an arrangement,” Iruka said, casting his eyes downward, “No one knows but the Godaime. I… I help Sakura through her heats. I have been for the past year. She’s in heat now, which is probably why I smell so much like her…” Iruka explained, slowly bringing his gaze up to his friend, “Is her smell that intense? Is that why you’re acting like this?”

 

Typical Beta. Doesn’t understand.

 

Doesn’t understand that just the faintest whiff of her sent sends him spiraling and over the edge. The combination of her scent and the fact that she’s a goddess in human form makes him only want her for himself. It’s like the Alpha within him won’t let him rest until he has her, but he has spent his entire life avoiding her for that exact reason. He could hurt her. He was powerful, even for an Alpha and she was fragile. It was the exact opposite of what his Alpha wanted and he was paying for it as he got older, but he maintained that it was still better for the both of them.

 

But wait.

 

_Wait._

Kakashi let his grip go on Iruka and he promptly slid against the brick wall, bringing his hand to his neck and holding it there. Asuma and Kurenai immediately ran up to Iruka and both gave Kakashi a very intense look of concern. Kakashi slowly turned away from them, his expression blank but in deep thought.

 

Sakura was in heat.

 

She was currently in heat and she had a _Beta_ assisting her through it. It was almost unheard of. Why would she prefer the assistance of a Beta over an Alpha? It was obvious that this was her preference since they had been doing this over a year. It was an a _rrangement,_ Iruka had called it. So they had discussed this and agreed to a set of terms.

 

Kakashi had to get out of there. The knowledge of knowing that Sakura was in heat and her intoxicating scent permeating the air was sending him into a very dangerous place. He needed to get back to his apartment and take his blockers. He had skipped out the past few days and of course it came now to bite him in the ass. Maybe if he had been on them he wouldn’t have the urge to go to her apartment now and fuck himself through her heat.

 

The thought of being with Sakura during a heat made his head hot and cock twitch in his pants. He imagined how slick and ready her cunt would be for his Alpha cock. How she would be screaming for his knot and to fill her with his cum. He groaned, needing to get the hell out of there and proceeded to take himself in the direction of his home, ignoring the worrying calls of his friends behind him.

 

**********

 

Iruka hurried his way back to Sakura’s apartment, not without glancing around him every once in a while, making sure a certain Alpha wasn’t on his tail. He was carrying a brown bag full of groceries, ready to stay holed in Sakura’s apartment for the next few days. He couldn’t help but find his mind racing the entire way back to her apartment, though.

 

What he had just bear witness to was most… _curious._ He wasn’t scared of Kakashi necessarily. He knew even though he was an Alpha he would never hurt him. No… that wasn’t what was bothering him about this. It was that he acted like _that_ upon scenting _Sakura._ It was like he was defending his claim. He was acting like he was ready to _kill_ for her, even though he knew he wouldn’t. Still, it was disconcerting.

 

Iruka wasn’t too sure what to do when he found himself at Sakura’s front door. He stood there, unmoving for a moment, keeping his gaze focused on the floor mat in front of her door that read ‘Sup. He really didn’t know if he should bring it up to her but he was curious if something had ever happened between the two of them. With a sigh he fished for her keys to unlock the door, pushing it open and letting himself in. He dropped the groceries and keys on the counter, making his way towards her bedroom and found her sitting up on her bed, reading a book.

 

She looked up at him and smiled, but immediately frowned upon seeing his look of concern. She shut her book and crawled on the bed to get closer to him.

 

“What is it? Did something happen?” Sakura prompted.

 

Iruka snorted, really not believing what had just transpired, “You could say that,” he responded, taking his place to the side of the bed, casting his gaze towards her window and picking a bird that was perched outside of it to focus his stare on.

 

“Well… what is it?” she pressed, bringing herself to him and placing a hand on his thigh. Iruka took a deep breath, looking towards Sakura and focusing his gaze on her emerald eyes, “I was attacked by Kakashi,” he said, and she furrowed her brow in confusion.

 

“Sakura, I need to ask… has anything ever happened between you and Kakashi?”

 

Her breath hitched and eyes widened slightly.

 

That was enough of an answer for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this installment :)  
> what do we think sakura will tell iruka? and do we think she may pay a certain someone a visit?  
> who knows! 
> 
> also- you guys. only 5 chapters in and we're over 1000 hits and 100 kudos! holy crap! i really didn't expect this little fic to take off but i'm so glad it did. you guys are so wonderful.


	6. fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iruka and sakura have an argument that leads sakura to the last place she thought she'd find herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning, good bit of irusaku smuttage at the beginning.  
> hope you enjoy the little twist at the end.  
> don't kill me please.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura stared at Iruka, unmoving, and unsure of what to say. Her blatant hesitation had already given it away, she supposed. There really wasn’t any way she could lie her way out of this. Why did she want to anyway? What had happened between her and Kakashi wasn’t exactly taboo. It was an Alpha and Omega giving into their biology. Simple as that.

 

So why was it so difficult for her to get it out then?

 

“I-I… yes. Something did happen,” she said, casting her gaze downward.

 

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, a hint of anger in his eyes. She snapped her gaze back up and shook her head viciously, “No! Not at all we just-“

 

“Just what?” he asked, a bit of bite in his question. She furrowed her brow at him and scowled, “Why are _you_ upset?” she asked, upset that he was reacting like this.

 

“I don’t know, Sakura. Why did he basically jump me at the first whiff of you? What he did was fucked up and I know he’s an Alpha but… fuck, I don’t know… maybe I just don’t g _et it_ because I’m a Beta, right?” he asked her, sounding so condescending that it was angering Sakura even more, “That’s all I’ll ever be to you,” he finished, getting up from the bed and making his way to the window.

 

This had been what Sakura was afraid of. Sure, she had developed feelings for Iruka, maybe even in a romantic way. How could she not? Their sex was so intimate and he was always so sweet and understanding. She trusted him completely and knew she could rely on him. But she couldn’t bring herself to love him. She wanted to, but that _thing_ inside her was holding her back. Though Sakura swore to herself that she’d never mate with an Alpha, she wasn’t ignorant to what her body wanted for her. She had agreed with what her body wanted for a while, but now her mind and body wanted different things and it had been a constant battle. But despite that battle, she knew until her dying day that her body would continue begging for her to mate an Alpha. No matter how much she loved seeing out her heats with Iruka, she knew that it would never erase that primal need deep in her psyche that was her Omega crooning at her to find an Alpha to take care of her.

 

Sakura brought herself to the edge of the bed, bringing her gaze up to Iruka and gave him a look of sympathy, “Iruka…” she beckoned but he didn’t move.

 

“Betas are too _vanilla_ , right? We don’t know how to please anyone other than Betas like ourselves. I’ve heard Alphas talk about us,” he said, laughing bitterly and shaking his head, “but it’s not true,” he said, his voice dropping and slowly turning towards her to give her a heated look, like he wanted to prove something. The combination of his voice and the look he was giving her made the wetness between her legs increase and she gasped, seeing his eyes dart down to her now dripping cunt.

 

“Oh, you like that don’t you?” he asked, licking his lips, “I knew you liked it rough, don’t you Sakura? Typical _Omega_ …” he said as he stepped closer to her and all she could do was nod slowly, biting her lip and looking up at him, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth. The way he said _Omega_ was enough for her feel the actual Omega in her stir, affected by the tone of voice.

 

“Then come here,” he said with a crook of his finger, beckoning for her to step closer to him. She got up immediately, her legs now slick with her juices and he pulled her to him, crashing his lips to hers. She moaned lowly, immediately granting his waiting tongue access to her mouth. Their tongues danced for a few moments, tasting one another and exploring each other mouths before he broke their heated kiss and roughly began making work of her neck. She moaned loudly as he bit and licked the wounds he was making. She loved the mix of pain and pleasure to the point where she could barely stand.

 

He growled and roughly turned her around to the bed, ripping her soaked panties off her body, “Tell me what you want me to do to you, Sakura,” he groaned as he shed himself of his clothing with lightning speed. He brought his fingers to her dripping cunt, swiping his fingers over her slit before burying them inside. He hooked his fingers and started pumping them in and out, watching her writhing form as she was bent over the bed.

 

“Mmmmf…Iruka…” she moaned, unable to speak over the intense pleasure she was feeling. She all of a sudden heard a crack and yelped, then felt a stinging sensation on her rear. She gasped, realizing he had just slapped her ass. Upon the realization she moaned loudly, wanting nothing more than for him to smack her again.

 

“Use your words, Sakura. Be a good girl and tell me what you want me to do to you,” he urged, rubbing soothing circles around the spot he had just slapped, her flesh becoming red from the contact.

 

“I want you to fuck me,” she said, face buried in the bedsheets, “I want you to fuck me so hard, please I can’t take it anymore,” she almost yelled.

 

“Who do you want to fuck you? I want to hear you fucking say it,” he seethed, slowing the pace of his fingers fucking her cunt.

 

“You! Just you! Iruka, I want you to fuck me! I want you to fuck me so hard with your cock. Please I’ll be so good just please oh please fuck me,” she whined helplessly, starting to babble as she gripped at the sheets and wiggled her ass at him, trying to move his fingers herself but she was met with another slap on her ass that made her whimper.

 

“Don’t worry baby,” he crooned, “I have just what you need…” he said and with one swift move of his hips he plunged himself into her, watching her back form into a perfect ‘U’ shape upon feeling his cock being buried in her. He didn’t start slowly. He didn’t take his time. He set his pace for hard and fast, not necessarily caring if it hurt or not. He grabbed the back of her hair, hard, and set his pace, loving the sound of his hips slapping against her ass. His thrusts were so forceful he could feel his balls slapping against her dripping cunt and it nearly threw him over the edge.  

 

She was practically howling now, loving how rough he was being with her. She shouldn’t have loved it and she hated herself for giving into sex like this but she couldn’t deny the darkness inside of her that craved it. The darkness that she equated to her Omega.

 

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as Iruka picked up his pace, pounding into her even faster. She didn’t think it was possible but it was and she could feel his cock start rubbing that special place inside her that made her stomach start to bubble and her entire body tingle. She brought her head up from the bed and let out a ragged breath, “Iruka… mmmf… Iruka I’m going to come. I’m going to come so hard,” she moaned, bringing her knees up to the bed so that he could hammer himself into her.

 

“Fuck, baby, do it,” he urged, slamming into her cunt and losing himself in the new position. He growled lowly upon feeling her walls flutter around his cock and he found himself coming soon after. He gripped her hips so hard he thought he’d crack her bones his orgasm had been so intense. He brought his head down to her back and licked a long strip up her spine, reveling in the shiver he felt underneath him.

 

They stayed like that for quite some time, basking in the afterglow and consumed in their own thoughts, wondering what had just happened. He slipped out of her and walked around the bed and towards her bathroom. Sakura brought herself to a stand, slowly making her way over to the bathroom, “Iruka…” she repeated, finding herself feeling the same as she had felt earlier, feeling an overwhelming amount of sympathy for him.

 

He sighed, turning his body towards her, standing in the entryway of her bathroom, “Why don’t you see your heats out with Alphas?” he pressed, wanting answers now that they had just fucked like an Alpha and Omega would.

 

“Iruka… I’m not ready to say,” she said, casting her gaze downward and crossing her arms around herself awkwardly.

 

“Well considering how much you enjoyed me fucking the living daylights out of you, I’d say you’re better off with an Alpha than someone like me,” he said, turning back towards the bathroom to clean himself up.

 

Sakura felt her blood boiling again, tired of having to explain to him that it was him that she wanted, “If I wanted to be with an Alpha I’d be with one right now, but no. I asked you to assist me through my heats because I want _you._ I don’t want an Alpha! I just want you, Iruka,” she said, pleading him to open up to her.

 

He whirled around at that, anger in his eyes, “Do you though? Do you _really_? We never see each other outside your heats. We don’t go out together. Don’t kid yourself Sakura we’re basically fuck buddies and it’s _extremely_ one sided,” he seethed, towering over her.

 

She felt tears start to flood her eyes, not believing what she was hearing and she tried her best to will them back but couldn’t. She looked at him with as much emotion as she could muster and reached out for him, “Iruka I care for you. I care for you so much,” she said through a choked sob and he scoffed, wrenching out of her grip and closing the door to the bathroom in her face.

 

She stood in front of the bathroom door for a while, allowing herself to calm down a bit. She took a few deep breaths through the intermittent hiccupping and slowly turned, making her way around her room and picking up her clothes, grabbing a fresh pair of underwear and preparing to go out for fresh air.

 

Maybe they just needed a few hours apart to collect themselves.

 

Maybe.

 

**********

 

Sakura didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. One minute she was at her apartment, having mind-blowing angry sex which led into another argument, and the next she was out in the middle of the night, wandering around the village aimlessly. She didn’t understand why it had to end like that but one thing was for certain; Kakashi was to blame for the inception of it. If he hadn’t attacked Iruka at the scent of her on him then she wouldn’t be in this situation.

 

She huffed a sigh, shoving her hands back in her pockets as she walked, focusing on her shadow that was being cast by the moon. It was not lost on her that she was still technically in heat, so she needed to get back to her apartment as soon as she started feeling better about going back and asking Iruka to fuck her brains out; despite the fact that they had just had the worst fight of her life. Besides, an Omega in heat and out in the open could pose a lot of dangers if she wasn’t careful. But it was almost midnight on Thursday and there wasn’t a single trace of life in the village, except for the random glow of porch lights that lined the street she was on.

 

As she wandered, she found herself at the side of town that a certain _someone_ who had ruined her evening currently lived. She wrinkled her nose, looking towards the building where his apartment was located. She could see his balcony from where she was standing and the dim light of a lamp illuminating the sliding glass door. She stood there for quite a while, debating what to do. She could already hear her Omega humming at her, knowing that her thoughts were currently being occupied by a particular Alpha that her Omega had fancied.

 

_Alpha is waiting for you_

_Alpha wants to please you_

_Let Alpha take care of you_

Everything about this felt wrong. Earlier that day she had been with Iruka and they had been sticking to their arrangement beautifully. They had fucked through the first part of her heat, which was always the most intense, and then he had to go out and run errands only to return in a foul mood because Hatake Kakashi had to show up and rear his possessive Alpha head. And now she found herself standing outside his apartment complex, her Omega _begging_ her to go inside. She felt that familiar scent of him. The warmth and security that she craved from a Beta, finding it odd that she felt that exuding off an Alpha like Kakashi.

 

She shoved her hands in her pockets and shuffled her feat, bringing her gaze up to his balcony and feeling her breath hitch when she saw a figure pause at the sliding glass door, then proceed to move away from it. She felt a surge of anger suddenly rush through her, angry that Kakashi had put a wrench in her heat. She was upset by his behavior. Upset that he commanded her to leave after they had been all over each other, upset that he had attacked Iruka, claiming to be bothered by the fact the he smelled like her.

 

It infuriated her, really. This man, her former teacher, who had been hell bent on avoiding her and doing everything in his power to stay away from her, had the gall to get upset at a man for _smelling_ like her because he was _with_ her. What right did he have? Why did he even _care_?

 

With a newfound anger she walked towards the staircase and began her climb to the 4th floor where his apartment was located. She honestly didn’t know what she was thinking, but she felt the blind rage take over and decided to let it guide her. She stepped off the landing and turned the corner, making her way to his doorstep. She remembered visiting many years ago when she was just a genin, but hadn’t stepped foot in his apartment since. It’s not like it was much, but it hurt knowing she was never invited back again.

 

She heard clattering on the other side and for a split second she thought about turning around and bolting but something inside her kept her there.

 

And it wasn’t the anger.

 

 _No,_ she thought, _this is something else…_ as she felt a familiar heat start to bubble in her abdomen. She started panicking, knowing exactly what was going on. The next round of her heat was fast approaching, and she needed to get back to Iruka as fast as possible. She prepared herself to turn around but couldn’t bring herself to, her legs locked in place. She started panicking, trying to will herself to move but she _just couldn’t._

 

And then she scented it. That amazingly warm and secure scent. It smelled of wood burning in an open fire and warm whiskey. It surrounded her and made her feel impossibly warm and she couldn’t bring herself to turn away from it. She just stood there, basking in the intoxicating scent of the man who she had just been chastising internally. She should hate him right now. _She_ should be the one avoiding _him._

And yet here she stood, nose almost right up against his damn door, close to practically licking it just to get a better taste of his scent. She needed to immerse herself in it. She could feel the heat start creeping up her legs and to her cunt. She felt the squeeze and gush of liquid down her legs and she knew then, she was truly fucked.

 

She tried once more to will herself to move but she just couldn’t, the Omega in her slowly taking control and winning. The Omega in her clapped with glee, awaiting the Alpha on the other side of the door. She didn’t have to knock, she knew he was aware of her presence, and he was aware of her predicament.

 

Her breath hitched as she heard the click of a door being unlocked and the creek of that same door being opened, slowly revealing the man behind it. She brought her gaze up slowly, daring to look into his eyes and wishing she hadn’t. She was pinned under his gaze, seeing a heat she had never seen in any Alpha she had ever been with. No…

 

This was the gaze of an Alpha who had been repressed.

 

This was the gaze of an Alpha who was starved.

 

This was the gaze of an Alpha who had kept himself away for too long.

 

With her chest heaving, Sakura took a step towards him. She was practically on fire and she felt her cunt clench at the sight of him, prompting more of her juices to soak down her legs. The Alpha’s gaze was immediately drawn downward and he flared his nostrils, bringing his gaze back to her and licked his lips. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he inhaled deeply, taking in her scent and basking in it, bringing his heated gaze back to hers.

 

“ _Omega,”_ he growled lowly.

 


	7. the alpha and the omega

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kakashi and sakura give in to one another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment we've all been waiting for, my loves. 
> 
> Enjoy the 3000 words of smut while you can, because the plot comes back next chapter. 
> 
> Earn your happy ending.
> 
> Oh, I'm also working on another ABO so stay tuned for that... ;)

 

 

_*_

_*_

_*_

_*_

_*_

 

 _“Omega…”_ he heard himself growl as he looked down at the cowering creature before him. The Alpha in him sneered in satisfaction, rearing its possessive head and wanting nothing more than to claim this woman. She was also in heat, which made the Alpha is him bare its teeth in excitement, eager to have this Omega that it had been hell bent on mating since the day she presented. Kakashi’s eyes rolled to the back of his head once more as she made her way towards him, almost past the threshold of his doorway, reaching out, desperate for him to relieve her of the pain she was in.

 

Kakashi had been fighting the urge to claim Sakura for almost a decade. It had been nine years since she presented, and the passage of time did nothing to ease the urge. If anything, it made it that much harder. Sakura was a grown woman of 25 now. She was not the 16-year-old fresh Omega that he wanted to throw against a tree after their training sessions and bare his teeth into her scent gland.

 

No…

 

Now she was some sick god’s creation. She was a creature of the heavens and not of the earth. Her body was supple and what was once unremarkable was now mouthwatering. She used to have quite a bland and boyish figure but upon her designation her body changed with it. She now had a small waist and wider hips, a supple bottom and ample breasts. What he wouldn’t give to suckle on her mounds whenever they were exposed in some tight shirt she’d wear. No wonder she would trigger his rut so often.

 

He hated his body for torturing him so. He hated that his body chose _her_ of all people to be his true mate. She didn’t deserve this life. He knew the woes of life as an Omega. He’d often hear their cries at night, in heat and wandering the village, seeking out an Alpha to ease their pain. Too often he would come across an Omega in an alleyway, howling in discomfort and hiding their contempt by furiously taking care of their own business. Too often he’d find an Omega behind a dumpster, furiously fingering their soaked cunt’s, trying to find any kind of relief. And then he’d find himself wrapping them in his arms to bring them home with him and take their pain away.

 

That’s what he saw in the Omega before him. One look in her eyes and he could see the pain start to consume her. He could _feel_ her desire for it to stop. He could _feel_ her begging for him to fuck her. To rut her. Anything just to make the pain. stop.

 

And with that final thought he pushed it all away. He pushed away his contempt for their designations. He pushed away the constant inner turmoil he found himself in whenever he was around her. No…

 

Tonight.

 

Tonight, he was the Alpha. And she was the Omega.

 

**********

 

Kakashi instinctively grabbed Sakura by the arm and crushed her form to him, swinging the door closed with an almighty bang and shoved Sakura against it, pinning his body over her. She whined and writhed under him, rubbing her thighs together at the wetness that was building. He growled and brought his mouth to her neck, scenting her and mouthing at her glistening gland, using this action to calm his Omega.

 

“Alpha…” Sakura crooned, extending her neck outward so Kakashi could get better access. He then darted his tongue out to her gland, lapping at it and tasting it, eyes rolling back at the unbearable sweetness of it. He immediately started to feel her relax in his arms and he felt her start purring against him. He could feel his erection start to jut against her stomach and he knew he needed to get them to his bedroom before he could really take care of her.

 

“You are mine tonight, little Omega. Do you understand?” he asked, hooking his thumb and finger under her chin and bringing her face to his. She looked up at him with glazed eyes and nodded her head slowly, eyes drifting closed as she become consumed by his Alpha presence, “Please, Alpha…” she whispered to him. He smoothed her hair out of her face and gazed into her emerald eyes, not wanting this moment between them to end. He finally had the Omega of his dreams right there in his arms and he’d be damned if he ever let her go.

 

Kakashi finally brought his lips to hers and he almost saw stars. Years of repression had been evident in the kiss and he was practically drowning in it. She hummed against his mouth and she nibbled at his lips, immediately asking for entrance into his waiting mouth. She sought out his tongue with her own and they danced, both reveling in each other’s euphoric taste and scents. It was all becoming too much for Kakashi already.  He had been with many an Omega but it had never been anything like this. He then felt himself being pushed back and he broke the kiss, eyes snapping to the Omega before him and his breath hitched. She pushed herself off from the door and guided him backward, a devilish look in her eye.

 

It was almost as if he had snapped his fingers and her entire demeanor changed. His Alpha pheromones must have really had an effect on her because the writhing Omega he saw just a few moments ago was long gone. Before him now was a vixen of the night, her heated stare penetrating him and sending him backwards into the couch. She purred upon mounting him, throwing her legs on either side of his hips.

 

“And you are mine tonight, Alpha” the Omega hummed at him, bringing her lavish tongue down to his neck and licking a long stripe up to his ear, sucking the lobe into her mouth. He audibly groaned beneath her and he could feel her smirk against him. He felt her slowly start grinding her hips into him and it brought him back to that day at the hospital. It had only been a few days ago and what he had promised would never happen again was now transpiring just before his eyes. He looked up at the intoxicating view of the Omega before him, head thrown back as she grinded her heat into his erection, softly moaning at the pleasure she was giving herself. She brought her hands up to her shirt and slowly began removing it, undoing the buttons and keeping her heated gaze on him, biting her lip as she kept with her ministrations. His breath caught in his throat as she revealed a black lacy bra she had been wearing underneath.

 

He immediately lept forward before she could reach back and undo the clasp. He wanted to feel his face on her protruding mounds. He wanted to lap and palm at them as much as he could before discarding the sinful piece of underwear. He kept his grip on her hips, guiding her over his cock as he brought his face to her covered breasts, rubbing his face along the tops of them, reveling at how soft they were. He moaned when he felt her suddenly unclasp her bra and he hadn’t been prepared for her enveloping his face with said breasts. He hummed into them as he rubbed his face against her mounds, reveling in how soft they were.

 

“Use your mouth… please, Alpha,” she crooned from above him and he gave a devilish smirk, finding a nipple was already dangerously close to his mouth. He gave an experimental lick of the already hardened bud and engulfed his mouth around it, swirling his tongue and sucking loudly as he palmed and pinched the other. Sakura grabbed a fistful of his hair, mouth wide open and eyes shut as he continued his work on her breasts.

 

“Kami, I’ve dreamed about these,” he said between suckling at her nipples. She moaned above him and he bit one, hard, causing her to gasp and shriek, grasping his hair harder and bringing his gaze back to her, “Naughty Alpha,” she purred and pushed him back into the couch, grinding down into his painfully hard cock with a newfound desperation.

 

He suddenly felt a gush of wetness permeate his lap and into his sweatpants. They both looked down and gasped, becoming consumed in raw desire at the effect that they were having on each other. He felt a strong urge to rut into her and the constant rounding of his hips into hers was enough of a sign for him.

 

“You’ve triggered my rut, little Omega,” he growled at her and suddenly sat up from the couch, picking her up and grasping her ample bottom, allowing her to wrap her legs around him and carry her to his bedroom. He crossed the threshold and tossed her onto his bed, shedding himself of his sweatpants and boxer-briefs. He had already been topless when she arrived, and he had already developed a thin sheet of sweat on his chest due to his rut. He marveled at the look that she was giving him. Eyes widened and mouth hanging at the impressive Alpha cock that jutted out from his groin.

 

He smirked devilishly and made his way to her, grasping the hem of her skirt and swiftly yanking it off, exposing a pair of underwear that matched her bra. He snaked back up her legs and traced his tongue along the length of her body; from her exposed hip, up her stomach, the underside of her breast and finally to her neck where he indulged himself in her scent gland. He gasped as the effect of his rut was making it so her gland was practically singing to him, swollen and glistening and _begging_ for him to mate her.

 

And he could.

 

He could feel his teeth baring over it but his rut hadn’t taken full control just yet. He still had some semblance of control and he immediately pulled back, looking at Sakura’s almost completely complacent form.

 

“Sakura,” he said, breaking through his Alpha glazed mind, “Sakura you’ve triggered my rut. I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself,” he said, desperate to know she understood. He wouldn’t claim her, not today. But he needed to know that she understood what an Alpha in rut meant. He would have little control over his body and he could theoretically rip her apart if she weren’t prepared. But an Omega in heat was prepared for anything. Their anatomies changed during heats and were specifically made to handle and Alpha’s rut. So, he shouldn’t have been completely surprised when she nodded her head eagerly.

 

“Please… please Alpha I need your cock. I need your knot,” she practically begged him and he groaned as he felt the Alpha in him rise to fruition. He turned her around so that she was on all fours and he peeled her panties off to reveal her dripping heat. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head when he saw how swollen and _soaked_ she was. He brought his fingers up to her cunt and gathered her juices in his fingers to bring to his stiff cock, giving it a few pumps and watching the beads of pre-cum come out the top. He hissed as she backed up into him, sliding the ample cheeks of her ass against his cock. He allowed himself to give into her ministrations and leaned back as he watched her fuck his cock in between her ass cheeks. She would every so often bring her ass all the way up to the point where his dick _almost_ slipped into her dripping pussy and the amount of juices spilling from it allowed her to slide back and forth with ease. It took everything in him not to plunge into her with a simple snap of his hips. Oh, his naughty Omega…

 

His Omega was teasing him. While she was in heat.

 

His Omega had the gall to tease _him_ when he should be teasing _her._

It made the Alpha in him snarl and want to punish this Omega for provoking him into her teasing ways.

 

He grabbed her hips roughly and settled himself behind her, bringing his head down to hers and hovering his mouth over her ear, “Naughty little Omega,” he crooned, “It’s awfully bold of you to deny your Alpha of that sweet cunt of yours,” he said with a lick of her earlobe. It caused her to shudder underneath him, “It’s almost as if you don’t want me to fuck you…” he said, bringing himself back up and sitting on his heels, smirking to himself.

 

Sakura gasped, wiggling her ass at him, seeking his cock to plunge into her pussy and she positively _whined_ when she couldn’t find it.

 

“Ah, ah, ah…” Kakashi tutted, “use your words little one,” he said, pumping his cock and waiting for his Omega to beg him to fuck her.

 

“P-Please… Alpha, I need your knot… I need it so badly,” she said in between sobs, bringing her face down to the pillows beneath her and gripping at the bed sheets with a death grip, feeling her walls contract and letting out more juices to run down her leg. Kakashi groaned at the site and it took everything in him to not just grab her hips and drive his way home, but his Omega needed to be taught a lesson.

 

“Good Omegas know not to tease their Alphas. Say you’re sorry little one and I’ll take good care of you,” he crooned, lifting himself and dragging the head of his cock along her dripping slit. She whimpered and lifted her head to speak, “Please fuck me Alpha. If you don’t I’ll go crazy,” she said as she tried to keep herself still as not to defy him.

 

“Louder, Omega,” he said, fitting the head into her and then taking it out.

 

“Fuck me please, Alpha I need you to knot me!” she yelled and he sneered, a devilish smirk plastered on his face.

 

“Louder!”

 

“Alpha please! Fuck me until I’m broken! Fuck me until I’m seeing stars! Fuck me until your knot fills me with so much cum it’s practically spilling out of me!” she begged, tears coming down her eyes at the desperation for his Alpha cock. It had been so long and she needed to feel it again.

 

“As my Omega wishes,” he growled and with one snap of his hips he was home. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he almost nearly came right there at the blinding pleasure he felt. He was on cloud nine. The feeling of finally being inside her after years of waiting and convincing himself that it would never happen was nothing short of euphoric. She was everything he ever needed. She satisfied anything he ever craved. She provided the sustenance to his never-ending hunger.

 

“Mmmfff… oh, Alpha! Yes yes yes…” Sakura babbled as he slammed into her, setting an unforgiveable pace, letting his rut take over completely. He grabbed her hips so hard he was sure to bruise her but she didn’t seem to care. He grabbed her hair and took hold of it, bending her back so that her ass was perched higher and he could penetrate her deeper. His vision started blurring and all he could seem to do was focus on her gland. His rut caused him to zero in on it and all he could hear was,

 

_Mate Mate Mate Mate_

Kakashi let out an almighty roar as he brought his hand up to her neck to cover her gland, a last ditch effort to not mark her as his and brought his mouth down upon it, breaking the skin of his hand and rutting into her with so much force the headboard was slamming against the wall. He could taste the copper of his blood filling his mouth and he pulled back, seeing the mark he had made on his hand instead of on her gland.

 

“Omega… my Omega…” he crooned, eyes closed and to the ceiling as he let himself get lost in his rut and her heat, not believing that this was all happening. He was sure there would be consequences later but, in that moment, in the now, he really didn’t give a damn. He supposed he could live a happy life now that he had been inside the woman he would ever want to mate.

 

So, with reckless abandon he pounded into her, her screams echoing through his apartment and the shimmer of her sweat stained skin sparkling in the moonlit room. He turned her to her back to face him and lowered his head to bring his mouth to a nipple, swirling around the sensitive bud and giving it hard sucks, feeling her arch her back underneath him as he kept with his pace.

 

“Kakashi… I’m going to come… oh! Kakashiiii,” she moaned and the usage of his actual name made him shoot up and look deep into her eyes. She looked at him with such longing and brought her hand to his cheek, bringing his face down to hers and resting their foreheads together.

 

“Say it again… Sakura I need to hear you say it again,” he groaned, feeling his orgasm fast approaching at just the sound of her saying his name.

 

“Kakashi… please, give me your knot. I need you to knot me,” she said and brought her lips to his, immediately using her tongue to force her way into his mouth, licking every crevice she could find as if she were trying to taste every aspect of him. She broke the kiss and trailed her way to his neck, sucking and biting, marking him with shallow wounds and licking them clean. The overload of sensations she was giving him threw him over the edge and he felt his knot swelling, eager to pump the Omega with his cum and he suddenly felt himself emptying into her. He let out a low groan as he felt his knot lock onto her and her walls clench around him, signifying her orgasm as well.

 

He let out a low groan and collapsed onto her, now locked together as an Alpha and Omega should. They both sighed, content and perfectly sated. Kakashi laid his head on her shoulder and rested his face in the crook of her neck, gently breathing in the intoxicating scent of her gland and letting it consume him. He hummed against her as he felt her slowly start purring, content with how her Alpha pleased her.

 

“It’s always been you… it’ll _only ever_ be you,” he said quietly, unsure if she even heard him as he was too focused on how she was running her fingers through his hair, surprisingly affectionate, “you’ve ruined any other Omega for me,” he continued, bringing his mouth to the top of her breast and leaving a trail of soft kisses.

 

She hummed and he wasn’t sure if she even heard him, too relaxed in her postcoital state. Maybe he would tell her later but, in that moment, he didn’t give a damn about anything.

 

All he could bring himself to care about was the Omega who was drifting off to sleep in his arms.

 


	8. interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iruka makes an untimely appearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a bit late. had some personal family stuff going on.  
> enjoy!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ila-dawn

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura lie awake, flat on her back and hands clasped over her stomach. Her chest rose slowly and she brought her tired gaze to the sliding glass door that led to Kakashi’s bedroom balcony. The crescent moon was high in the sky and its radiant light shown into the bedroom she currently found herself in; consumed in thought.

 

The man who lay next to her was an Alpha. An Alpha she swore she’d never fuck. Yet here she was, lying awake and focusing on the steady breathing of the Alpha male deep in a blissful post coital sleep. Sakura found her heart started beating rapidly as the memories of what had happened an hour prior flashed in her mind. She had given herself completely to him. Succumbed to him. Given in to her biology entirely. She had become his pet and his play thing, and she loved every second of it.

 

She scowled inwardly, hating herself for going against her own morality but not enough to get up from her current position and leave, like she had with the previous Alphas. Something kept her there, chained to the bed and she couldn’t bring herself to leave. But she knew what that something was.

 

She heard Kakashi. Oh yes, she had indeed. And it was the reason she lay awake, drowning in her thoughts.

 

_It’s always been you… It will only ever be you._

His soothing voice hummed in her mind and she began slowly rubbing her thighs together, feeling the familiar heat in her stomach build up once again. She moaned softly at the feeling and allowed herself to immerse in the memories. She had been running her fingers through his locks, marveling in how soft they were. She was surprised to find that she didn’t flinch at his words. In fact, she relished in them. She ate his words right up and found herself fighting not to mount him again.

 

She rubbed her thighs together once more, feeling the wetness and heat building at the apex of her thighs. Sakura looked over towards the Alpha next to her, who was still lying on his back, snoring softly. She smiled and found it endearing, settling her gaze on him and taking in his form. He was built like that of a young adult male and his face did not reflect a man who was soon to turn 40. She licked her lips and propped herself up, her emerald eyes roaming along the length of his body, the sheets only covering his lower half where she could see the slight bulge of his impressive length. Even flaccid, she could tell it was large and she felt another wave of heat flow through her. Her Omega purred deep within her, preparing for another session.

 

Was it just a session though? Was there more to come of this? Should she even allow that? Wasn’t she still upset with herself for giving in? She really wasn’t sure how to answer those questions. Her gaze drifted to his face and he looked just the bit of a satisfied Alpha who had been fucked by an Omega.  

 

But _she_ wasn’t. Satisfied, that is. With a devilish grin she sat herself up and loomed over him, feeling the heat in her belly rising to fruition and her Omega humming deep in her psyche.

 

_Please your Alpha. Fuck your Alpha. Be good for your Alpha._

And with that final push of confidence from her inner Omega she slithered herself down to his crotch, palming his thickness through the sheets that were covering his lower half. She grinned as she felt him twitch, that part of him slowly awakening. She watched his face as she was stroking him through the sheets to see if he’d wake from her ministrations. His face made small little twitches but nothing out of ordinary sleep disruptions. She huffed, figuring a pervert like him were more likely to be having a naughty dream than be affected by her so she wrenched the sheets off of him, exposing his rock hard cock and grasping it in her hands.

 

She licked her lips as she saw a bead of pre-cum emanate from its top. She tilted her head, marveling in how it glistened in the moonlight streaming in from his window. She kept her gaze on his face as she brought her mouth down to his cock, enveloping her lips around his tip and giving it a soft suck. She heard him grown above her and slowly crack his eyes open and she smirked, mouth still around his head as he groaned again and widened his eyes upon seeing her. His hand slowly made its way to the back of her head, grabbing her hair and leaning his head back, enjoying the surprise he had woken up to.

 

She made her way down his shaft, gently sucking and licking her way, reveling in his thickness and his taste. He lifted his hips a bit to get deeper into her mouth and she gagged slightly, looking up to see him smirking. She wanted to please him and show him just what kind of Omega she could be, so she hollowed out her throat and took all of him, watching with extreme pleasure as he rolled his eyes back and hissed.

 

“Yes, Omega…” he croaked, “Take all of me.”

 

And she did. She took him all the way to his base and remained there, using her tongue to massage the sides of his Alpha cock. He groaned and tightened his hold on her hair as she made her way back up to the surface, sucking gently and teasingly as she lifted from him with a pop. She flicked his tip with her tongue and licked around, making sure to taste every last bit of him before she was done with that part of her show. She winked at him and sat up, giving him a devilish stare.

 

“Does my Alpha need to be fucked?” she asked, bringing herself up and kneeling next to him. He groaned and nodded eagerly, bringing his hands to her hips but she stopped him, swiftly grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head, swinging her leg over to straddle his waist. He gasped and stared up at her, amazement in his eyes and she smirked, reveling in how she was pleasing her Alpha.

 

“Tell me, Alpha,” she crooned, “How should I fuck you?” she asked, slowly starting to grind her heat over his exposed thickness. He moaned at the wetness that she left over his weeping cock and whined when she lifted herself off.

 

“Should I ride you like this?” she asked, mimicking grinding herself on top of him without actually having him inside her. He nodded his head eagerly and she shrugged, watching him growl at her, not impressed by her teasing.

 

“Or should I turn around so you can see my ass riding your cock?” she whispered and gave him a coy smile. His gaze darkened and her breath hitched. She squealed when he brought himself up, wrenching himself out of her grip and bringing himself to a sit with her still on top of him. He growled and grabbed her hips, bringing his mouth to her ear.

 

“Enough of your games, Omega, or I’ll decide how we fuck for myself,” he seethed and lifted her hips, plunging himself into her depths and she shot her head up to the ceiling, moaning loudly at the sudden intrusion of himself inside her. He kept a hand on her hip and leaned back on the other, allowing her to take some control and ride him. She brought herself up and down his shaft with ease, her slick making it easy to do so. He groaned as he watched her make use of him, completely submitting herself to his body and soul.

 

He growled when she wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him up and into her breasts. He attacked them with ferocity, biting and licking her mounds, leaving marks that meant they were his and only his. Just as her body belonged to him. He licked his way to her nipple and sucked hard, grinning against the bud as she yelped and ground into him harder.

 

“Yes, Omega,” he growled, “Fuck me. _Use_ me,” he seethed against her breast as she looked down at him, watching him lap at her nipple as he maintained his gaze on her, challenging her with his penetrative eyes. She emitted a growl of her own and pushed him away from her, pinning him to the bed beneath him and circled her hand around his throat. He gave her a delighted look as he stared into her impossibly dark gaze.

 

It was as if something took over her. Something dark. Something primal. She looked upon him wickedly and slowly tightened her hold on his throat, watching his mouth slowly fall open and eyes roll to the back of his head.

 

“Yes…” she crooned and she began moving her hips over his, “Writhe under your Omega,” she said in self righteousness as she ground her hips narrowly into his, keeping her hold on his neck as he laid underneath her, trapped completely under her spell. He groaned at her command and closed his eyes, marveling in how she felt bouncing up and down on him.

 

Their rough fucking was interrupted by an incessant knocking at Kakashi’s front door. She yelped and stilled her movements, removing her grip from him and he growled, grabbing her hips and flipping their positions, pinning her under him and into the bed.

 

“I’m knotting you, Omega, no matter who is at that door,” he growled through gritted teeth and rammed himself into her, snapping his hips against hers over and over, her breasts bouncing painfully at his punishing pace. She screamed, throwing her legs around his waist and listed her ass off the bed, allowing him to drive into her like his life depended on it. He brought his mouth down to her scent gland, jump starting his orgasm as he sucked and lapped at it, the intoxicating taste nearly causing him to go into rut again.

 

“SAKURA! Sakura are you in there?” they both heard from their places on his bed, still entangled in one another. Sakura heard Kakashi growl from above her and her eyes widened, sensing his scent spike and she grabbed at his arm, knowing that something v _ery_ bad was about to happen and she needed to think quickly. The man on the other side of the door was desperately calling her name and it was enraging the Alpha above her even more.

 

With one arm he wrenched himself off of her and made his way out of his bedroom with a look of murder on his face, not bothering to put any kind of pants on to cover himself, letting his Alpha body consume him and bolster him.

 

“Kakashi, wait!” Sakura squealed, trying to chase after him, throwing on a random shirt she found on the ground over her body, finding it covered everything she needed to make the encounter that was about to happen much less awkward. She ran down the hall and to where Kakashi was standing at his front door, staring it down like he was willing it to break and splinter right before him. He grabbed the handle and wrenched it open, swinging the door open with so much force it was almost ripped off its hinges, finding Iruka standing in front of him with a look of indignation on his face.

 

“What do you want, Beta?” he seethed and snapped his jaw at him, pushing his chest out to make himself bigger but Iruka matched his malevolent stare, challenging the Alpha. Sakura could see Kakashi’s back tense and she blanched, needing to intervene to avoid Iruka getting seriously hurt.

 

She ran up and forced herself between the two of them, looking towards Kakashi and bringing her hands to either side of his face, bringing their foreheads together and rubbing her nose against his, doing everything she could to calm the riled-up Alpha. She used her instincts, running her face over his and rubbing her thumbs into his neck, causing him to purr against her.

 

“There’s my Alpha…” she crooned and took the moment to turn to Iruka, mouthing from him to go and that she’ll meet him outside while she had Kakashi under her little spell. He reluctantly stepped away from the door and she promptly shut it, turning her attention back to the Alpha before her.

 

She presented her neck to him, offering her gland for him to suckle at. He brought his mouth down upon it, licking and sucking; allowing the taste of her Omega pheromones to soothe him. He growled and pushed her against the door, wedging her between the two and rubbed his still rock- hard cock against her. He maintained his suckling on her neck and hummed, grinding into her heat and lifting her up the door as if he was going to resume what had been interrupted. She moaned but put her hand on his shoulders, stilling his movements.

 

“Kakashi, please…” she said, trying to break through to him, “I need to speak with him.”

 

He growled and wrenched himself from her neck, bringing a heated stare to her and almost barred his teeth but stopped himself.

 

“Like _HELL_ you will,” he said and she brought her mouth to his, sucking and lapping and nipping every aspect of it until she felt him calm down again. She broke from him and brought her lips to his neck, giving it the same amount of attention before she started to speak again.

 

“Kakashi… please hear me,” she said against his neck, “I am going outside to speak to Iruka. Your friend. _Our_ friend. I am going to ask him to leave, and not come back. Do you understand?” she asked in a soothing voice and felt him tense under her, “You are my Alpha…” she continued, “and nothing will come between you and I,” she said, cautiously pulling herself away from him and reading his expression. His face was blank and his body unmoving, but she saw him nod slowly, allowing for her to fully remove herself from his grasp.

 

She didn’t know what she was saying or if there was any truth behind it, but all she knew was that she needed to calm her Alpha, and she would resort to saying anything if it meant Iruka was safe. With that final thought and the confidence that she had control of the situation for now, she made her way back into his bedroom to grab her pants and hastily made her exit. Kakashi never left the spot he was rooted to in front of his door and it made her pause before making her exit. She slowed before him, engulfing his face in her hands and brought him down for a soft kiss and gave him a knowing look, turning around and leaving him alone in his apartment.

 

**********

 

Sakura patted her way outside, barefoot. It was drizzling and she made out Iruka’s form facing away from her, leaning against the brick wall at the exit of the apartment complex. She approached his side and glanced up at him, but he maintained his stare into the night, his face completely unreadable.

 

“So this is where you’ve been?” he asked, breaking the silence, “You went to the first Alpha you could find?” he continued, an unbelievable look of hurt on his face. Sakura could feel the tears well up in her eyes already, never intending to hurt him so.

 

“Iruka…” she choked but he lifted his hand to her.

 

“I waited at your apartment; you know. _Three_ hours you were gone. I went looking for you, thinking you had gone to Ino’s but you hadn’t. And as much as I didn’t want to think it, my mind kept going back to Kakashi. And, well, here I am,” he said, shaking his head and laughing bitterly.

 

Sakura didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t bring herself to even look at him because of the insane amount of guilt she felt. She had completely taken him for granted, and she was just realizing the gravity of what she had done now. She was about to apologize profusely but found herself being interrupted by a long sigh from him.

 

“I’m sorry…” he began, bringing a hand to his forehead and rubbing it in exasperation and Sakura just stared at him wide- eyed, “I shouldn’t have snapped like that I just... I know something bad happened to you long ago, Sakura,” he said, finally looking down at her. Her breath hitched and she shook her head, pretending she didn’t know what he was talking about.

 

“It’s your choice whether you wish to tell me or not. I think I can guess for myself,” he said, pushing himself off from the wall and facing her, bringing a hand to her cheek, “but I think I need to be the one to tell you that now is the time to face it. If tonight was any indication it’s that you need to _face_ whatever demons you’re harboring; and something tells me whatever this has been between us, isn’t helping,” he concluded, giving her a knowing look and she nodded hesitantly, bringing her head into his touch and letting herself be comforted by it for just a few moments more.

 

“My time is up, Sakura… and now it’s his turn,” he said with a knowing look and she continued staring, mouth slightly fallen open.

 

“You will always be my most cherished friend, Sakura,” Iruka said as he swiped a tear from her cheek and she choked back another sob, nodding and taking his hand in hers, bringing it up to her mouth and giving it a chaste kiss. She brought her gaze to his and gave him a look that told him everything she wanted to say, but there was something she had been keeping inside. She had been denying it but in this final moment she _needed_ to reveal it before they parted from each other, or she’d never forgive herself.

 

“You will always be my first love, Iruka,” she confessed and let the tears fall, “I am forever grateful to you for that.”

 

He smiled and ducked his head, as if he were trying to keep his own emotions at bay and simply nodded, conveying his agreement and gave her a kiss on her forehead before turning around, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Sakura watched him go, a forlorn feeling deep in her chest as she stood in the night and let the light rain fall onto her.

 

She took a few deeps breaths, willing away the tears that threatened to spill. She was still in the middle of her heat, and though she was watching the man who held her heart walk away, the man who held her very soul remained in his apartment, waiting for his Omega; and she would be damned if she kept her Alpha waiting.

 

 __________

 

Not gonna lie, I teared up a bit at the end.


	9. burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura's heat is over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and smut
> 
> follow me on tumblr:   
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ila-dawn

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura’s heat lasted 3 days.

 

4 days shorter than it would have if she were by herself. 2 days shorter if she had stayed with Iruka.

 

It had been a blur of passion and aggression. Sex with Kakashi was other-worldly. Much different than what she had experienced with any other Alpha. There was always this idea of ‘soulmates’, which was an Alpha and Omega pair that were biologically destined to be together. She wasn’t sure if she believed in that whole myth, but her time with Kakashi had given her pause about the subject more than a few times.

 

They spent those three days only focused on the needs of one another. They would feed each other, bathe each other, pleasure one another in any way they needed. They fucked more times in the shower than she thought she ever would in her entire life.

 

Sakura didn’t have much time to think in those three days but when she did, she would feel conflict. For the past few years she had been promising herself to never lay with another Alpha. It was just too dangerous to her. She had maintained that Alphas in rut could not be trusted, no matter what the circumstance. But her time with Kakashi had been nothing short of perfection. When she found herself outside his doorstep her mind and body were at war. Her mind begged her body to see reason, but her Omega body was ready to break the door down and leap onto Kakashi. In the end, the Omega won and it was the most satisfying and pleasurable heat she had been through, but could she bring herself to make that the norm again? She essentially cut ties with Iruka and she wasn’t comfortable finding another Beta to see her heats out with. She trusted Kakashi but could she forgive him for ignoring her for a decade?

 

This new information she received from him was a bomb shell for sure and did not help with her confliction, now that she was done with her heat and could think more clearly. He had confessed that it had always been her. She had a few ideas as to what that could possibly mean but she still didn’t know what she thought of it. Did she find it endearing? Terrifying? Exciting?

 

She didn’t know how to answer that. Given the events of the past three days, all Sakura could bring herself to think about was how Kakashi was everything she wanted and more in an Alpha. She’d be doing herself a disservice if she didn’t at least try and put her trust in him.

 

**********

 

Sakura and Kakashi lay in his bed, the sun just beginning to rise and cover the village in its soft rays and warmth. They had just finished another round and were happily sated, covered in a thin sheet of sweat. Sakura had never found herself in this position, wanting an Alpha so badly outside of her heat. She found that she wanted Kakashi constantly. It both frightened and excited her as she lay next to him, breathing in his comforting scent.

 

“Did you ever think in a million years that this would happen?” Sakura asked, her head perched on Kakashi’s chest as he was running his fingers through her hair. She heard a low rumble underneath her as he chuckled.

 

“Between the two of us, I think _I’m_ the one who is most surprised by this,” he said, brushing her hair from her forehead and giving it a kiss. She nodded her head against his chest and took a breath, preparing for her next question. 

 

“So, what now…?” she asked, bringing her face up to his and looking deep into his eyes. He sighed, looking down at her and pausing, allowing himself to take in her impossible beauty. She could sense his hesitation to answer and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. She sat herself up and pulled away from him, giving him an intense stare.

 

“What is this?” she clarified, giving him a questionable look and he sat himself up as well, running his hands through her hair, “Sakura…” he began and she held her breath, prepared for him to tell her that this was as far as he wanted to go. He didn’t want her. Just like the other Alphas. He was just going to use her and throw her away when he was tired of her and spent.

 

“I’ve loved you for… many years, Sakura,” he said, cautiously chancing a glance at her and her eyes widened. She had not been expecting that. 

 

She furrowed her brow and gave him a look of disbelief. They hadn’t so much as said a word to each other and now he’s saying he loves her?

 

“Explain."

 

Kakashi lowered his gaze, sitting himself up fully and resting his back against the headboard, “When you first presented, I immediately felt the spark and my body pulling to your scent. It both terrified and angered me. One, because I didn’t think it was possible for me to be so captivated by a single person, Omega or not. That just wasn’t me. And two… well you were 16 and I was 30. The thoughts I had about you… I think about it and immediately feel disgusted that I ever felt those things,” he said, closing his eyes and resting his head back.

 

“You hadn’t even grown into your body yet and all I could think about was ripping your gear off your body and fucking you in the middle of the training grounds. I wanted to lick and taste every part of you… I wanted to _claim_ you,” he said with a darkness in his voice that made heat rise in her belly.

 

Sakura didn’t know what she was doing but her body started moving on its own. She moved closer to him and wedged herself next to him, getting as close to him as she could. Her breasts rubbed against his arm and he groaned at the feel of her hardened nipples against them. She looked up at him a mixture of curiosity and something darker as she felt her Omega slightly taking over as she listened to his confession.

 

“What’s stopping you now…?” she asked, her voice quiet as a mouse as she maintained her heated gaze on his.

 

“Sakura you don’t know what you’re asking,” he said, looking at her with his penetratingly dark eyes. Sakura shook her head, looking down and closing her eyes, realizing she was just being silly and banishing her overly eager Omega.

 

“What is this to you then…?” he suddenly asked and she shot her head up, opening her mouth but finding no words coming out, “I know you were seeing your heats out with Iruka…” he continued cautiously, “I’m just wondering why you’re here if that’s the case.”

 

She shook her head, breaking away from his gaze momentarily. She wasn’t sure how to answer that. She couldn’t tell him what happened… not yet at least. She would risk exposing herself more than she’d like but also causing his Alpha to rear its possessive head upon hearing her recount what had happened all those years ago. But one thing she couldn’t deny was the undeniable pull she felt towards Kakashi in the short amount of time that they had been close. She felt the pull from the moment she walked in on him in the hospital.

 

“I guess… I guess I just couldn’t stay away anymore,” she admitted and he just stared at her, “I was tired of running away,” she whispered, looking out towards the window and the sun that was beginning to rise.

 

“Sakura…” he murmured and she took that as her cue to make her way over to him, throwing her leg over his lap and straddling him. She cradled his face in her hands and brought their foreheads together, breathing in each other’s scents that they couldn’t get enough of.

 

“Kakashi… you own my very soul right now,” she said and closed the gap between them, locking their lips together in a passionate kiss.

 

It wasn’t quite an ‘I love you too’ but that sentiment was more than enough for him. They had each other now.

 

**********

 

“Kakashiiii…” Sakura moaned, finding herself wedged between his front door and his rock-hard body. She was just getting ready to leave to go to work but he was on her in an instant, flipping her body to meet his and hoisted her up, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist. She reached her hand around to the back of his neck and grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging harshly and bringing his face up to hers.

 

“I’m already late for work,” she said through gritted teeth as he growled and pinned her arm above her head, neck buried deep in her neck and lapping at her scent gland.

 

“Mmmf,” he grunted, sucking harshly on her gland and emitting a low groan from her, “I need to feel you around me one more time,” he said in desperation, hiking up her skirt and pressing his erection into her.

 

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she felt him rolling his hips into her, his erection jutting through his sweatpants and the head teasing her clit through her soaked panties. She bit her lip as he rutted against her fervently, growling against her neck and begging for her to say yes.

 

She shooed him away and allowed him to place her down on her feet. He gave her a confused look but she swiftly yanked her panties down to the ground and did the same to him, grasping his pants and underwear together and bringing them down to expose his weeping cock. He groaned as she backed him down onto one of his dining room chairs, climbing on top of him and grasping his length.

 

She threw her head back as she sank down on to him and felt herself envelop his cock. Kakashi emitted a low growl, placing his hands on her hips and guiding her up and down his length. She bit her lip and used her legs as leverage, finding it easier to quicken her pace with her feet planted on the ground. Kakashi met her heated gaze and brought his hands to her shirt, swiftly yanking it apart and popping off its buttons. She gave him a disapproving look and was about to say something until her brought his mouth to her mounds, licking the tops of her breasts and burying his face into her cleavage. She swiftly brought her hands to her backside and unclasped her bra, tossing it to the side.

 

Kakashi groaned and brought his hand up to her breast, plucking at her nipple and observing her reaction. She yelped when he pinched rather hard and she was about to wrap a hand around his throat, knowing he liked to play dirty but he grabbed both of her wrists, bringing them behind her and leaned himself back into the chair. He used the leverage to fuck up into her and watch her bounce on top of him.

 

Sakura let her head fall back as he quickened his pace and regained his control over her. She started to feel his cock twitching inside her and heard him grumbling something. She brought her drunken gaze back to him and gave him a questionable look.

 

“Do you want my knot, little Omega?” he asked again and her breath hitched. He couldn’t knot her now. Not with the time constraint she was under. A wicked thought crossed her mind as she felt him start rutting into her, indicating he was close.

 

“Kakashi…” she moaned, breaking away from his grasp and circling her hands to the back of the chair, “Tell me when you’re about to cum,” she demanded and he nodded vigorously, gritting his teeth and pounding into her.

 

He brought his face to her neck once again and buried himself into the crook of it, seeking out her gland and lapping at it fervently, tasting and soaking up every ounce of her that he could muster to intensify his orgasm. He was breathing harshly into her neck and slamming himself in and out of her, practically making her scream at the intensity of it.

 

“Fuck, baby, I’m going to cum,” he said shakily and she nodded, hoisting herself off of him with lightening speed and she could have sworn she heard him whine above her. She quickly kneeled in front of him, bringing her mouth down onto his cock. He let out a loud moan as she enveloped him with her mouth, bringing her hand to his base and pumping up and down. She brought her fingers to her dripping heat and fucked herself with her fingers as she worked his cock.

 

Kakashi growled lowly upon seeing her pleasuring herself as well as him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as she circled her tongue around him, carefully sucking and setting her pace to quickly bob up and down his length. She reveled in his little moans and grunts above her as he gripped her hair, tightening his hold and guiding her up and down.

 

“ _Fucking hell,_ Sakura,” he breathed as he took in a harsh breath and felt himself spilling into her. She felt the ropes of his cum shooting into her mouth and eagerly swallowed them down, enjoying the taste of his spend and her liquids mingling together. She pulled off of him with a pop and wiped her mouth, bringing an innocent gaze up to his and giving him a wink.

 

He brought his heated gaze down to her as she pulled away from him and leaned back on her elbow, her fingers still plunging in and out of her dripping heat. Kakashi licked his lips and focused his gaze on her fingers penetrating herself and her soft pleasurable moans.  

 

“Can I come, Kakashi?” she asked with a pout and she saw his cock twitch as if he were ready to go a _gain._ He groaned and nodded, eyes focused on her cunt as she lay herself on her back and brought her other hand up to pinch her nipple, moaning loudly at the feeling of both of her hands working her. She arched her back as she felt her orgasm approaching and fucked herself faster, focusing to his harsh breathing as he watched the little show she was putting on for him.

 

She screamed as her orgasm ripped through her, feeling herself clamp around her fingers. She rode it out slowly and let her hips buck up into the air. She allowed her breath to settle before bringing herself up to a sit and settling her gaze on Kakashi. The look in his eyes was almost that of disbelief, like he couldn’t fathom that this was all happening. That he’d wake up and it would all be a dream. She figured that’s what he was thinking because she felt the same way.

 

“That’s for ripping my shirt,” she said with a wink as she brought herself to a stand, inspecting said shirt and shaking her head upon realizing that it was not salvageable.

 

“In that case, maybe I should ruin your clothing more often,” he said with a satisfied smirk and she tutted, shaking her head at him and traipsing around the living room to gather the rest of her clothing. She felt his eyes on her and turned to look at him, still seated on the chair and cock completely flaccid.

 

“What is it?” she asked softly as she threw on her panties and her skirt, straightening herself and walking back to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and brought the other to the side of his face, cupping his cheek and bringing his face up to look at her. She brought her mouth down to his and gave him a deep kiss, pouring her every emotion into it.

 

“Will you come back tonight?” he murmured against her lips and she sighed, pulling her head back and looking into his eyes. They looked hopeful and were so full of longing. It broke her heart that she had to tell him no. She brought her hand back to his face, brushing an affectionate thumb across his cheek.

 

“I have a long shift tonight…” she explained, “But I get off early afternoon tomorrow, so why don’t you come over to my place after,” she said, bringing her lips to his nose and giving it a peck. He smiled softly and nodded his head.

 

“I love you, Sakura…” he said and she smiled, bringing her forehead to his.

 

“I know.”

 

 


	10. fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi's life is turned upside down.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

It had been a busy afternoon. It seemed that in Sakura’s absence patients had really piled up. Sakura had always maintained a bit of modesty, but even she had to admit that a part of her was pleased that her skill and experience were so valued. No one could really blame her though. She _had_ trained under the most skillfully trained medical shinobi of their time.

 

Tsunade was more of a mother to Sakura than her own. It didn't upset her in the slightest. She had never really been too close to her mother and her designation didn't exactly help. There was a stereotype against Omegas, pegging them as just Alpha obsessed and would do anything for a knot. Heat leave was especially sensitive to Betas; saying that it was just an excuse for Alphas and Omegas to fuck.

 

It was a complicated life, being an Omega.

 

But Tsunade acted as Sakura's surrogate mother, showing her what it really meant to be an Omega and more importantly, she was more than her designation. That last little piece of advice kept Sakura level whenever she would become overwhelmed by the constant whispers. Tsunade had been no stranger to them when she was Sakura’s she, and now that the village's current Hokage was an Omega, it definitely caused a shift and earned the respect of many others. And now that Sakura was head nurse it only solidified the notion that 'we are more than our designations'.

 

Sakura sighed as she crossed the threshold into her office, rounding the corner of her desk and plopping herself down in her office chair. She leaned back, letting her head fall against the head rest to relax for a few minutes. She had managed to go through most of the day not thinking too hard about what had transpired in her absence, but now that she had a few quiet moments to herself she found the memories all coming back.

 

She groaned loudly, glancing over to the digital clock perched at the corner of her desk. It read 7:45, meaning she had 15 minutes until the end of her shift. She felt her heart start racing, knowing it meant that she was that much closer to seeing a certain Alpha again. She had hoped to maybe take a day to mull things over and think about how she felt about everything that had happened, but hearing how desperate he sounded to see her again made something in her completely surrender to him.

 

She couldn’t love him. She just couldn’t. Not after how he had treated her all those years, only to find that he had been harboring such heavy feelings for her.

 

It tore her apart… being outcast. She surrendered all her trust into Team 7 and for what? She put all of her love, devotion and hope into a family who never seemed to want her. She put her faith into a leader who all but shunned her. Tsunade was her only saving grace, having plucked her from the depression that she had fallen into at just the young age of 16 after her presentation. She gave her means. She gave her purpose.

 

So no, she shouldn't bring herself to love someone who failed to fulfill the only role expected of him, all because of her designation. Could she?

 

 _No…._ she thought. She really couldn't… because no matter how hard she fought it, she was falling for him.

 

Hard.

 

Sakura brought a hand to her face, rubbing it tiredly and letting out an exasperated sigh. She gathered the documents and patient files off of her desk, piling them together and sitting up from her chair, deciding now as good a time as any to face the music that was her burgeoning feelings for Kakashi.

 

**********

 

Sakura gasped as she felt Kakashi swipe his tongue against her gland, humming against her neck and keeping her pinned against his apartment door.

 

“Kami, I missed you so much…” he murmured, his breath sending shivers down her spine. He was scenting her, dropping to his knees and examining every inch of her. She could hear him murmuring “Oh, kami,” over and over into her skin, licking and marking her body with his scent. She moaned and let her head fall back as she allowed him to claim her, if only for a few moments. He brought his hands up her exposed legs, trailing up them until he reached the hem of her skirt. He swiftly pulled it down, guiding her feet out and doing the same with her panties.

 

Her breath stilled as he hitched a leg over his shoulder, his face level with her dripping heat. She could feel his staggering breath as he brought his mouth closer, kissing and licking the inside of her thighs until he reached his destination. He brought his gaze to her for a moment, giving her a wicked grin before delving into her heat, angling his head to fully submerge himself into her.

 

Sakura let out a low groan as she felt his tongue swipe up and down her folds slowly, savoring her taste and reveling in the wetness that was quickly building and practically drenching his face. She heard him growl at the sudden gush of wetness and felt her eyes roll to the back of her head at his eagerness to lap it up. She felt him make his way up to her clit and slowly wrap his mouth around the bud, creating a soft suction that made her body shudder and legs quiver. She brought a hand down to his head, steadying herself and grabbing a fistful of silver, anchoring herself and slowly grinding her hips in his face. He took the bait, grabbing her other leg and throwing it over his free shoulder and moving his hands to cup her ass aggressively.

 

Sakura yelped at the sudden change of position and felt her head swim at the mind numbing pleasure he was able to give her whilst holding her up at the same time. She practically cried as she felt him picking up his pace, sucking fervently and gripping her ass so hard she was sure to bruise. He growled against her as he left her clit, licking her folds and making his way down to her entrance, using his tongue to drag teasing circles around it.

 

“Kakashi, please… “ she begged as she writhed above him, trying to get herself closer and coax him back to his pace, whining as she felt him smirk against her.

 

He circled his tongue around the entirety of her, stopping every so often to suck on her clit and revel at the shudder it would produce in her. He carefully pulled a hand away from one of her cheeks, bringing it down to her heat and teasing her folds. She bucked against his face in surprise and started panting, readying her body for the onslaught of pleasure that it was about to endure.

 

Kakashi kept his lips wrapped around her clit once again, sucking slowly and causing her to shake slightly. He brought a single finger to her entrance, slowly sinking it in until he couldn't fit anymore and proceeded to hook it, slowly fucking her with his finger as he kept his mouth over her clit.

 

She was a mess above him now, babbling incoherencies as her mind and body tried to process the insane amount of pleasure that it was receiving. She cried out as he inserted another finger, using both to hook into her and bring her even closer to the orgasm that was threatening to rip into her at any moment.

 

“Cum for me, Sakura,” she heard from below and she could feel her undoing. Her body shook uncontrollably and he quickly retracted his fingers from her heat, suckling at her clit and holding her steady as she rocked through her orgasm, panting and gasping as she stared intensely at the ceiling.

 

She felt Kakashi slowly bring himself up to a stand after swallowing up the last waves of her orgasm, leaning back against the wall and allowing him to scoop her up and carry her sleepy form to his bedroom.

 

She smiled against his shoulder, feeling the familiar security and warmth run through her and calm her senses. She couldn't deny the feelings that she was too scared to admit anymore. She couldn't lie to herself.

 

She was falling for Kakashi.

 

**********

 

Kakashi knew this day would come. _When_ it would, he was never quite sure, but the randomness of being woken up at the crack of dawn by an incessant chirping out his window told him today was the day.

 

Today, Tsunade would ask him to be the 6th Hokage.

 

He couldn't say no, of course. He had no real reason to. It was an honor; a privilege. Something any devoted shinobi to Konoha would happily take the mantle of. In all honesty, he was highly honored. His love for his village was paramount, and he would not turn down a monuments opportunity such as this.

 

He found himself standing outside the very Hokage tower where he would be spending most of his days. It gave him a bit of relief, looking back on his very full life. He was nearly 40 and it was time for him to retire as a shinobi. Though he looked as if he could go for another decade or so, how he felt was an entirely different story. He was sure he could get his ass handed to him now, not that he wanted to test that theory, but he wasn't too proud to admit that.

 

Kakashi sighed as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, making his way through the double doors and helping himself to the top level where Tsunade would be waiting for him. He wasn't terribly anxious, but with such a change he couldn't stop his heart from beating just a tad faster than normal. All he could think in that moment to ease his budding nerves was Sakura.

 

He had felt terrible leaving her that morning. She looked so content curled into his arm and wasn’t too shy to voice her objection to him leaving so early in the morning. His perfect little Omega whimpered beneath him, begging him to stay just awhile longer. He had to promise to be swift, his Omega demanding for him to return to her as quickly as possible.

 

He wanted nothing more.

 

He really couldn't believe how much had changed in the past week. It had started with a mundane physical that he didn't think would be at all eventful. Little did he know he was about to walk head into a situation he had been avoiding for a near decade. Being so close to Sakura and having no where to escape her scent caused him to go into a violent rut, and consequently triggered her heat. It really couldn't get much better than that. Knowing that he had been the one to trigger it filled the Alpha in him with immense pride and he couldn't say no when she was presented to him at his doorstep.

 

And the days that followed…

 

Kakashi thought he had been dreaming. He had all but accepted that him and Sakura would never be. But now… things were different. He could sense her hesitation but he could also sense her trust in him. It was enough to give him hope that she would be his mate, one day. He had never gave it any real thought, knowing his body would only ever want her. He didn't think it would be possible for him to mark an Omega who wasn’t her.

 

But things had changed. It _was_ possible now. He loved Sakura and in time, she would love him. Her _soul_ was his. Her _body_ was his she all but proclaimed to him. And it was enough to give him hope.

 

**********

 

“Kakashi-sama,” Tsunade said with a soft smile, picking herself up from her seat behind the large desk and rounded the corner, making her way over to him.

 

“Lady Hokage,” he responded, bowing low and clearing his throat. She stopped in front of him, clasping her hands together and giving him an expectant look.

 

“I assume you already know why I’ve summoned you,” she said and Kakashi nodded, crossing his arms in front of him.

 

“I have an inkling,” he said and she nodded in approval, turning away from him and slowly walking over to the large windows that rounded the front of the large office. She set her gaze out to the village that she had spent so many years overseeing as their Hokage. She hitched her hip against the window pane, fixing her gaze outside.

 

“My time as Hokage is coming to a close. There are many candidates who would do a decent enough job but given your history and your allegiance to this village, I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as my successor,” she said, turning towards Kakashi and giving him a coy smile, “but you already knew of this…” she continued, moving away from the window and making her way back to her desk, motioning for Kakashi to take a seat across from her. He sat himself down and she clasped her hands together, bringing them to her mouth and setting a serious gaze on Kakashi. It made him stir in his seat, suddenly becoming a tad uncomfortable.

 

“There's more, I'm sensing,” he pressed and she nodded, not taking her gaze off of him.

 

“There is.”

 

They sat in silence for few moments, just staring at each other. Kakashi made no move to press further, sensing she was preparing what she wanted to say. He couldn't imagine what had gotten her to a point where she was nearly speechless, unsure of what to say. She took a deep breath and he stiffened.

 

“There has been talk amongst the villages… they want more unification. It’s peace time, and we need to show that our countries can be united,” she began and he nodded, so far everything making sense.

 

“The Elders…. well they quite jumped at the idea of…” she stopped momentarily, looking towards Kakashi and pausing for a moment.

 

“They quite like the idea of arranging a marriage between you and another Kage,” she said, bringing her gaze down momentarily as she could sense his gaze darkening. He could feel the blood in him boiling, the rage building, the happiness he had been feeling earlier ebbing away. His hands balled into fists as he tried to focus his breathing. He shook his head and laughed bitterly.

 

“No,” he said, still shaking his head, “they don't have the authority to do that,” he said and it was her turn to shake her head.

 

“Kalashi… they've already decided. It's out of your hands. If you are to represent this village then this is what needs to be done. There are perfectly suitable women Kages that would be happy to join you and show their support for a more unified state.”

 

“I can't,” he said, a finite tone in his voice as he looked at her in indignation. She furrowed her brow at him in confusion.

 

“I don't understand. I know it's not ideal and I didn't think you'd be completely on board at first but I know you and you would do _anything_ for Konoha. What is holding you back? You’re not married, you don't have a mate, you-“ she paused abruptly, watching at how he flinched at the word mate.

 

“My God…” she said, bringing a hand to her mouth in disbelief, “have you mated with an Omega?” she asked and he slowly brought his gaze to her, a sadness in his eyes and he shook his head, casting his gaze downward to avoid her scrutiny.

 

“Well then I still don't understand.”

 

“I just can't. I feel that I'm promised to someone else,” he said lowly, refusing to look at her and she scoffed.

 

“It doesn't matter if you're promised. You’re not mated, you haven't gotten an Omega pregnant and the powers to be have already elected you as the 6th Hokage,” she said, rising from her chair and towering over him. She softened her gaze a bit upon his look of disbelief and she brought her hand out, offering it to him in a gesture of understanding. He hesitated but brought his hand out, allowing for her to grasp it.

 

“Kakashi… I entrust this to no one else but you. They… they've chosen Terumi Mei for you, the Mizu-“

 

“I know who she is,” Kakashi said bitterly, slowly feeling his hand squeeze around Tsunade's. She took a shallow breath, taking her hand away and crossing her arms.

 

“The Mizukage is an Omega, Kakashi. It's almost perfect. The unification of an Alpha and Omega in marriage and as leaders… it can't get much better than that,” she said, hope in her voice that he would see reason.

 

“Would I… would I have to mate with her?” he asked softly, heart pounding as he dreaded her answer. She sighed, looking away from him in thought.

 

“I think she would find it odd if you didn't, don't you think?” she asked and he snapped his head at her, slamming his hands down on the desk with an almighty bang and shooting himself up from his chair, sending it flying backward.

 

“No, it shouldn't be _odd_ ,” he seethed, “this is an _arranged_ marriage. We're not marrying for love. You’re an Omega, Lady Tsunade. Why are _you_ not mated yet?” he asked, indignation seeping through his voice.

 

“Because I haven't found the right-“

 

“Right, _mate_ ,” he finished, straightening himself, “why should I be expected to mate with someone whom I don't know and know isn't the mate for me?” he practically yelled.

 

“Because you don't have a choice!” Tsunade yelled, slamming her fist into the desk in front of her, splitting in half. Kakashi glared at her, unflinching.

 

“You have been _chosen_ to represent Konoha and you are willing to give that up for a mate you don't even know is out there yet?” she asked and Kakashi just looked away.

 

He couldn't believe what was happening. He thought he was meeting Tsunade to accept the mantle of Hokage. He did not expect an arranged marriage to be thrown into it. The sudden change of events and the range of emotions he was feeling was making him sick. Not a few moments earlier he had been presented with the very real possibility that he would claim Sakura as his. They would be mated for life, belonging only to one another. The thought of that, after having spent years denying it would every happen and to have that ripped from under you…

 

He felt his heart breaking by the second.

 

“I need to think about it,” he heard himself saying and to his utter terror Tsunade shook her head.

 

“It is decided Kakashi. A month from today you will be the Rokudaime and Terumi Mei will be your wife,” she said, sitting herself in her chair with a heavy sigh. He stared at her for a long while, words failing him and the gravity of the situation finally settling in. He straightened, nodding his head.

 

“Yes, Lady Hokage,” he said, bowing and turning away, not leaving any time to linger. He just wanted to leave and get as far away as he could from everything and everyone. He didn't even want to see Sakura, the one person who he seemed to ever _want_ to be around.

 

He exited the Hokage Tower and didn't look back, setting course for the one place he would go when he had no where else to turn to.

 

**********

 

The memorial stood before him, black and etched with sharp edges just like his heart. He felt like he was in a nightmare, forced into something he had no control over. There was a part of him that felt like a child, and if he hadn’t promised his heart to Sakura then he really wouldn't have an issue with this arrangement. He would even agree with it as being feasible.

 

“Obito…” he began, closing his eyes and clearing his mind, calling out to his friend in the hopes that someplace he could hear him. Kakashi was never the spiritual type, but speaking allowed always seemed to help him, whether his friends from the beyond were there or not.

 

“I don't even know where to start…” he said, a low chuckle making its way out of his mouth, “I'm to be the next Hokage, which is an immense honor, but…” he trailed off, bringing a hand to his mouth and rubbing it in thought.

 

“The neighboring countries find it prudent that we find ways to become more united; equal, I suppose. One of those ways is by marriage…” he said, a bitter taste settling into his mouth. He took a deep breath, looking up to the sky and feeling the light rain drops falling onto his face.

 

“I’m to marry the Mizukage in a month,” he said, darkness settling into his eyes as the words left his mouth. They felt so foreign to him and all he could think about was Sakura. How he wished he could say it was _her_ he'd be marrying. _Her_ he'd be claiming.

 

And then it hit him.

 

_You’re not married. You're not mated to anyone._

The Hokage’s words took over his mind as he immediately thought to Sakura. It was soon but he _had_ her now. There was no question that she felt the same connection he had been feeling all those years for her. He was not lost on the times she would present her gland far too willingly for him just to lap and scent it innocently, as if she wanted nothing from it.

 

No.

 

The signs were there. He would go to Sakura. And he would ask her to be his, once and for all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going go be... heavy. Prepare yourselves emotionally.


	11. partings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura makes her decision
> 
> tw: mild reference to rape

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

“There’s something different about you…”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“I don’t know. You just seem… happy?”

 

“Well gee, thanks.”

 

“Pleasant to be around?”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Not a total buzzkill who just sucks the joy out of every living thing closest to her.”

 

“ _Kami,_ Ino seriously!” Sakura exclaimed, shooting her friend an incredulous look, “I get it. I was unhappy and now I am. Happy?” she asked matter-of-factly to which Ino just stuck out her tongue teasingly.

 

“I’m not complaining. You were quite intolerable to be around.”

 

“Is it your goal to use every negative adjective about me today?” the fiery pink haired girl asked, taking a sip of her tea as she ripped her gaze away from her friend. She had been looking forward to spending an hour or two with Ino while Kakashi was away but she was now regretting it.

 

 _Just perfect. The one day I’m actually in a good mood I get teased for being in a good mood. Go figure,_ Sakura thought to herself with a shake of her head.

 

“So, what?” Ino began, giving her friend a knowing look, “did you finally get banged by an Alpha? I don’t understand why you stopped in the first place. It’s not exactly good for your body.”

 

“How would you know? You’re just a Beta,” Sakura bit out and immediately regretted it. She sighed and gave Ino an apologetic look, not knowing where a comment like that came from.

 

“Careful, Sakura, your Omega is showing,” Ino said a bit bitterly and Sakura nodded, sighing and bringing a hand to her forehead to rest her head on.

 

“I did…” Sakura admitted softly, looking down at the picnic table. She heard Ino let out a little squeal and immediately groaned at the sound, knowing she had to come up with a story of sorts. She couldn’t tell Ino she was fucking her former s _ensei._ She couldn’t admit that she was falling in love with him. Sakura could barely admit it to herself let alone say it out loud.

 

“Well…?” she heard Ino say and Sakura dared chance a glance at her. She had that typical wide expectant grin on her face when juicy gossip was about to be spilt, and being the gossip queen, Sakura wasn’t about to just let out her deepest darkest secret.

 

“It’s just uh… well I went into heat about a week ago and was tired of going through them alone so I um…” she stumbled, frantically searching her mind to pick out a lie but not take too much time for it to be obvious that she was in fact lying.

 

“Well you know that one club um…Club Omega!” Sakura said a bit too loudly and Ino scrunched her brow at her.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Oh, well yeah that’s what happened.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“…You didn’t say what happened,” Ino said, giving her friend an extremely confused look and Sakura felt as if she were caught under a microscope.

 

“Well I picked up an Alpha there, of course.”

 

“Oh, _of course!_ ” Ino said, disbelief in her voice and Sakura scowled.

 

“What? Is that so hard to believe?” Sakura asked, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow. It’s not like Sakura was a stranger to sex. She wasn’t the type to just walk up and proposition someone but she certainly was experienced enough for it to be believable at least. It was almost impossible for Omegas to see out their heats alone and it was quite dangerous, as Ino had pointed out. The only real way for an Omega to see out a heat comfortably was from penetration by a male cock, preferably an Alpha’s because of their knotting capabilities. It didn’t seem fair in the least, since males could technically go through ruts alone and be fine.

 

But that’s just how the cookie crumbled, she supposed.

 

“No, it’s not,” she heard Ino say, breaking her out of her thoughts, “I’m proud of you. It seems to have done you a lot of good.”

 

Sakura nodded slowly, bringing the tea cup to her lips and taking a long and satisfying sip. She felt herself start to smile and could feel Ino’s eyes on her. Indeed, she was happy. But if she had told herself a week ago that she would be fucking an Alpha, her former sensei no less, she would laugh in your face. Probably resist the urge to spit too at the insult.

 

Sakura suddenly saw a flash of white out of the corner of her eye. She casually glanced to her side, seeing Kakashi leaning against a tree a few yards away from them. Ino hadn’t noticed and Sakura could tell by his stare that he wanted her to go to him. She could feel his Alpha command, whether he was doing it on purpose or not, carry itself over to her. Her eyes almost rolled to the back of her head as she was hit with his all too familiar scent. She had been deprived of it for only a few hours and here she was about to lose herself to it.

 

Sakura coughed softly and pushed the cup of tea away from her, “I should probably get going. I have some house work I want to get done,” Sakura said and Ino groaned loudly, giving her friend a slightly annoyed look.

 

“You’re kidding, right? We only hung out for like, 45 minutes!” the blonde said, raising her hands up in disbelief. Sakura threw her another apologetic look, picking herself up from the picnic bench and trying to keep her focus on Ino rather than the man beckoning for her.

 

“I promise the next day I have off will be devoted _entirely_ to you,” Sakura said, giving her friend an expectant look. Ino just sighed defeatedly and nodded her head, “I’m holding you to that,” she said and Sakura nodded, giving her friend a smile before turning away.

 

She immediately forgot about her abandoned friend, swiftly making her way over to the field where Kakashi was waiting for her. She had a wide grin on her face upon seeing him perched against the tree. She approached him, giving him a coy smile which he returned gladly under his mask. He brought his hands to her face and she gladly allowed him to bring their faces closer together.

 

They had to be careful, still. He didn’t lower his mask but she could tell he was struggling to hold back. His hands were shaking slightly and his breathing was getting ragged. She gave him a peck on the cheek and pulled away, grasping his hand and giving it a squeeze.

 

“Let’s go home,” she said with a smile and she could had sworn she felt him stiffen slightly. She gave him a confused look but he smiled, whispering that he would meet her there and gave her a peck on the forehead. She felt something in the air shift just then, watching intently as he turned from her, hands stuffed in his pockets. There was an aura about him that was a noticeably different from a few hours ago, and she was intent to get to the bottom of it.

 

**********

 

Sakura watched Kakashi as he stepped into her apartment, taking in the area with an intense expression on his face. He had never been inside her apartment before and she realized just then he was probably scenting for other Alphas, or maybe even a certain Beta. Sakura desperately hoped his scent had been purged since then.

 

 She watched his back carefully as he traipsed around, picking up a photo of her and Ino that was perched on an end table. She could still sense that there was something he wanted to discuss. She was a bit surprised that he hadn’t jumped her the moment they were alone, meaning he must’ve had something important to discuss. It only made her a little nervous, but she couldn’t think of anything that could be bothering him in that moment.

 

“Kakashi…” she pressed and he remained turned away from her. She slowly walked up to him, making her way to his front so she could see his face. His expression was unreadable and she slowly brought her hands up to his mask, hooking her fingers at the top and slowly bringing it down, revealing the handsome face she was growing to love.

 

The look he was giving her gave her pause and she licked her lips, a movement that caught his attention and the look in his eyes suddenly came to life as hunger took over him. His breath quickened slightly as he moved his hands to her waist and lowered his forehead to hers. The feel of his breath on her lips was making her dizzy and she knew then that if she didn’t take control of the situation they would never make any progress.

 

“Kakashi, what’s on your mind? Please tell me,” she pressed softly and he sighed, pulling away from her reluctantly. She took his hand in hers and led him over to her modest dining table, urging him to sit in one of the chairs. She made her way to her kitchen to warm up some water in her kettle and make some tea for the both of them, looking at him every so often but the look on his face was the same; deep in thought.

 

“Tsunade is stepping down as Hokage…” he said finally. Sakura paused but didn’t say anything and nodded, knowing Tsunade’s time was coming. She had done a tremendous job overseeing the village, having gotten them through a war and seeing out its restoration. She really would go down in history as one of the greats, but it was someone else’s turn now.

 

“The Elders have elected me to be the next Hokage,” Kakashi said, breaking Sakura out of her thoughts and she shot her head up. She wasn’t sure why but a wide grin took place at the news. She hadn’t expected that, and not because she didn’t agree but because she couldn’t think of someone better. She was absolutely elated for him.

 

“Kakashi…” she began, “I don’t even know what to say. Congratulations!” she exclaimed, quickly forgetting the tea and making her way over to him and exiting her kitchen. She went to face him and immediately halted, surprised by the expression on his face. A dark look had set in and she furrowed her brow.

 

“I don’t understand… are you not happy about this?” she asked, pulling out a chair and sitting herself down across from him. She put a hand on his thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “Kakashi this is an _immense_ honor. And no one is more devoted to this village than you,” she said, giving him a reassuring smile. She saw him glance at her and scoffed slightly, picking himself up from the chair he was sitting in and making his way to the sliding glass door that led outside to her balcony. He stared outside, a blank expression on his face.

 

“The villages are calling for more unification now that it’s peace time,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, “they want the countries to show that we’re equal and put an end to these wars.”

 

Sakura nodded her head, listening intently and remaining in her seat as she kept her gaze on him.

 

“One of those ways is by marriage…” he said, trailing off at the end and lowering his head, “The Elders have arranged for a marriage between me and the Mizukage,” Kakashi said, turning to Sakura, maintaining his blank stare.

 

Sakura’s breath hitched as she heard the words come out of his mouth. _Marriage. Mizukage._ She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She didn’t know how to process it. Could they do that? It seemed absolutely absurd and all she could do was just stare at him and shake her head over and over.

 

“T-They can’t do that,” she said softly and he shook his head.

 

“It’s already been decided,” he said and she closed her eyes, trying to think of anything that could be done. Surely, they couldn’t just _force_ him into a marriage. It was barbaric and completely unreflective of the times.

 

“There’s nothing that can be done?” she decided to ask and he lifted his head slowly, giving her a knowing look. She locked eyes with him and tilted her head, not knowing what he was thinking in that moment. She could feel herself start to sweat, for reasons unbeknownst to her and his gaze darkened.

 

“Sakura…” he began, slowly making his way over to her. His intense stare made her squirm in her chair slightly and she felt her breath intensifying.

 

“Be my mate.”

 

Her emerald eyes shot wide open at his request. She stared, mouth hung open, words failing her as she tried to wrap her head around what he had asked her. He wanted her to be his mate? That was his solution to this? She looked down and picked a spot on her hardwood floor to focus on, feeling like she might faint at the proposition she had just been presented with.

 

“Sakura it’s the only way I can get out of marrying the Mizukage. If I’m already mated then the law needs to honor that,” he said, desperation in his voice and all she could do was stare at the ground. She knew he loved her and she would be a fool if she denied having fallen for him. They had only been together for a week and already her feelings for him were strong enough to entertain the idea of being claimed.

 

But there was something inside her that was screaming ‘no’.

 

Suddenly memories of her past started to plague her. She took her head in her hands as the onslaught of events took over her mind, as if it was telling her to start seeing reason. All she could see were images of herself on the training field, all alone and practicing by herself while Kakashi devoted his attention to the two other males of the group. The time when he had been so close to death he didn’t even want her near him to heal him. All the times she would see him around the village and he’d immediately disappear when she noticed him.

 

She slowly started shaking her head and looked at him, tears flooding her eyes as she started shaking her head more frantically, standing up from her chair, “I can’t… I can’t…” she whispered quietly to herself as she started backing away and she saw Kakashi stiffen, the look in his eyes turning frantic. He quickly made his way over to her and his desperation made her bite back her tears, trying to will them away.

 

“Don’t… don’t say you can’t,” Kakashi choked out, grasping her shoulders and bringing his forehead to hers, “I want you and only you. _Please_ don’t do this,” he begged and she tried to pull away but he tightened his grip on her, not willing to let her go so easily.

 

“Kakashi, I can’t,” she sobbed, her cheeks becoming warm as her tears washed over them. He shook his head and brought his lips to hers, kissing her fervently and putting all of his desperation in it. He swiped his tongue along her lips and she immediately let him in, unable to pull away in that moment. If this were the last time she let him touch her then she wanted to savor it. He would pull away every so often to lick her tears away. The actions made her sigh and shiver underneath him and he pulled away, looking into her eyes.

 

“Please don’t leave me…” he whispered and her breath hitched, something in her igniting at his plea. Anger took over and she pulled away, shaking her head in disbelief at his plea. The  _gall_ he had to even ask her that. After everything he had put her through. Reason quickly took over and she scowled, watching surprise take over his face.

 

“No!” she yelled and shoved her fists into his chest, pushing him away with all of her strength.

 

“You’re asking _me_ not to leave _you_? _You_ abandoned me!” she seethed, pointing to her chest, “I needed you and you pushed me away! You were supposed to be my teacher. You were supposed to guide me and be there for me, and instead you treated me like I didn’t exist!” she said, choking on her words, not even stopping the tears from falling.

 

“And you expect me to let you mate me after you _decide_ to just waltz back into my life!” she said, watching him wince at her words. She felt her lips curl in anger, enjoying the feeling of unleashing all of the emotions she had been harboring over the years. She glared at the Alpha before her, letting out a bitter laugh.

 

“You want to know why I hate Alphas?” a serious look taking over her face, “Because they do nothing but  _take._ They _take_ and _take_ and _take_ until there’s _nothing_ left,” she said and Kakashi just stared, unflinching. 

 

“I _hate_ them because they took away the last bit of my innocence. Young and naïve Sakura, thinking Alphas were there to protect. To defend. To make you feel safe. I was so wrong…” she said bitterly, biting her quivering lip.

 

“I was seeing out a heat with two Alphas and they had gone into rut at the same time,” she said, her voice soft but stern as she turned her gaze away from him, “It got too out of hand. My body refused to say no and they _ripped_ me apart. They took their turns using me until they were spent and I was broken. They left me… alone,” she finished, turning her gaze to Kakashi and giving him a look of indignation.

 

“I promised myself I would _never_ fuck an Alpha _ever_ again,” she said, shaking her head and letting a few more tears spill, “and then you came back into my life. You made me feel safe. You made me trust you," she said, the tone of her voice saddening.

 

Kakashi remained standing in his spot a few paces in front of her, his face unreadable but she could see a mix of emotions. She saw anger, fear, sorrow, regret. It made her pity him but the more she allowed herself to think clearly the more she realized how foolish she had been.

 

“I don’t know what came over me last week, but it was a mistake,” she said, wiping the last bit of tears from her cheeks as she straightened herself, “there’s a reason I stay away from Alphas, Kakashi. I can’t make you an exception. Not when you took from me too,” she said, crossing her arms.

 

They stood in silence for the longest time and she didn’t know whether to just turn around and wait for him to leave or tell him to get out. She blanched as he slowly nodded his head, clenching and unclenching his jaw and letting out a long and shaky breath.

 

“I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused you, Sakura,” he said and she just looked away, feeling the traitorous tears start building up again, "I... I had no business coming into your life like this. I thought I was doing us a favor by staying away," he said, focusing his gaze out the window and shaking his head. He clenched his jaw and looked at her, a pained look on his face. 

 

"I just need you to know that no matter what happens, know that you have always been the one for me. That will never change...” he said, watching her intently and she bit her lip, an overwhelming sadness taking over. She nodded her head, watching as he slowly turned away, making his way back to her front door.

 

“Kakashi,” Sakura called, crossing her arms in front of her and he slowly turned, not quite looking at her but acknowledging that he was listening.

 

“Congratulations,” she said, giving him a tight smile and he nodded his head, pausing and letting his head fall in defeat before turning and exiting her home, closing the door quietly behind him.

 

She let out a shallow and shaky breath, falling to her knees and cradling her head in her hands, letting the flood gates open and the tears fall heavily. Her shoulders were shaking at the intensity and she felt her heart breaking. She couldn’t believe what she had done in the span of 30 minutes. Everything had changed.

 

The worst part was she didn’t know if she had just let her one chance at happiness walk out her front door, gone forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides*  
> well, if you know me you knew this was going to happen.  
> i'm sorry but they couldn't be happy for long. this fic is gonna rip your heart out over and over, but i hope you're still loving it.  
> next chapter will be the end of part 1, and then there will be a time jump.  
> thanks for stickin' around and the lovely comments. they really keep me going.


	12. just this once

****

*****

*****

*****

*****

*****

 

**Four years after the wedding**

Sakura stood in the desert sun, a calmness washing over her as she let the sun bathe her in its warmth. She wasn’t a stranger to heat, and to most the desert heat could be oppressive, but not to her. Today, she found herself enjoying it. Indulging in it, just like any other day. She could feel the rays penetrating her skin, the light prickling feeling making her hum softly.

 

She had been in Suna the past two years. Iwa the two years before.

 

It had been four years since she left Konoha, and not once in those four years had she returned. She had made a home out of Suna now. She had a steady job, an actual house instead of an apartment, and someone to share it all with.  She was happy, she thought. Now that it was peace time everyone's moods seemed to be lifted and there wasn't a constant fear of impending war. It was refreshing, since war and fighting seemed to be all she knew for a time. She felt she could breathe now and focus on what she really loved which was caring for people.

 

Her job at the hospital was the same as in Konoha. She was automatically given the position of head nurse, given that was her job title back at the village. The hospital wasn’t as nice as in Konoha, though having a medic nin as Hokage comes with its perks. She didn't mind though, since the hospital was actually supplied with the materials and equipment needed to function properly, unlike in Iwa.

 

She sighed contently as she stood out on her patio, nursing the steaming cup of coffee she was sipping on to her chest. She felt a presence approach her from behind and she felt herself smile as she was cloaked in a familiar embrace.

 

“Breakfast is ready, my love,” she heard and turned her head to the side slightly, taking in the man's comforting scent. Though slightly dull, over the years she had come to love it. It wasn't oppressive in the least bit. It was soothing and nurturing. It wrapped around her comfortably and brought her security.

 

In some ways it reminded her of someone else. Someone she fought not to think about with every passing day since she had left.

 

**One day before the wedding**

She had bruises and bite marks that marred her entire body. He was placed at her chest, hugging her side and licking at her mounds, letting his tongue soothe the marks he had made on her. She hummed at the contact, his actions sending a familiar wave of heat through her.

 

“Alpha…” she purred and she felt him smirk against her skin. He continued licking, nibbling and sucking, leaving no part of her body unmarked by him. She was his, at least for those few days of her last heat with him.

 

And it would be the _last_ time.

 

The Alpha above her made his way down her chest, kissing and licking the love marks until he was satisfied with his work. She suddenly felt an onslaught of emotions overcome her, the tears starting to build up in her eyes as the Alpha made his way back up to her face. He promptly started rubbing against her gland, burying his face into her neck and letting his pheromones soothe her aching heart.

 

“It’s over… isn't it?” she asked and he nodded against her neck, letting out a shuddering breath as he continued lapping at her gland.

 

“Yes…” he whispered and she sobbed, letting out soft whines and bringing her hands to her lover's hair, gripping and keeping him in place. They howled together as he positioned himself once more at her heat, plunging into her for the final time. Her face was wet with the mixture of their tears and she could hear him chanting “Please” over and over to which she’d respond with “I’m sorry” at every other thrust. Still, they both had the understanding that this was it.

 

So he fucked her.

 

And fucked her.

 

And fucked her.

 

Until it was all over.

 

**Two years after the wedding**

Iwa was depressing now. She was feeling more anxious with every day that passed. Her job there was done and she found herself needing a different change of scenery. The Land of Earth was too barren for her taste, not that Suna would be much different but at least there would be some variation and the promise of the sun making an appearance every day was enough to make her want to move.

 

She sighed as she picked up the few remaining boxes that littered her living room floor. Iruka was already waiting outside, having arrived just a few days ago to accompany her on her journey to Suna. She was so thankful for his help, despite everything she had put him through. Iruka was always very understanding, so much so she felt guilty that he wanted to help her, in any way really. She didn't deserve anything from him, but he insisted upon it. He had explained to her that despite what happened, he would always be there for her, and his love for her would never fade.

 

She couldn't deny that she loved him too, in a way. She had a sort of endearing love for Iruka. It was beautiful and soft. It was safe.

 

But she couldn't deny that that her heart belonged to another, and that kind of love was completely different. It was exciting, chaotic and intense. It made a fire burn within her that only burned brighter when she was around him. And the fire was still there. Her heats were still present and the desire for him was evident. It would never disappear, and she made her bed with that. Deep down, she knew that Iruka knew that too. He knew that her heart would always belong to Kakashi, and that quiet understanding helped her though her guilt.

 

He just loved her. Whether as a friend or occasional lover, he just wanted to care for her.

 

**Two days before the wedding**

They had been fucking non stop for an upwards of twelve hours. They hadn’t showered. They hadn't taken a break to eat like they should had. The only thing that was on their minds was being as close as possible with the little time they had.

 

Sakura thought she was going insane. She clung onto his sweat covered back, her legs strung around him and clutching tight as he pounded into her for the millionth time it seemed. His pace hadn’t slowed in hours and she felt as if she could die happy right then and there. He was worshipping her, praying to her as he rutted with reckless abandon.

 

They weren't moaning or whispering sweet nothings to one another. They weren’t being gentle or loving. They were growling and snapping their jaws, biting and barring their teeth as they fucked. It was completely animalistic. He sucked fervently at her gland and she could feel his knot swelling against her. He hissed against her neck as he snapped his hips over and over, chasing his orgasm and feeling him shake above her. She shrieked as she felt his knot lock onto her, triggering another mind-numbing orgasm as she felt him spurting into her once again.

 

She felt numb. But not in a bad way. She _wanted_ to feel numb. She didn't want to feel _anything._ She didn't want to think about the wedding. She didn't want to think about her needing to leave.

 

All she wanted was to stay in her Alpha’s protective arms. Forever.

 

**One year after the wedding**

Iwa seemed like a good place to settle, and so far she didn't regret it. A year had passed and she felt relatively happy. She was alone, but she never had a problem with that. It was what she was used to. It's what was comfortable.

 

Besides, she felt needed in Iwa. After the war Iwa had become compromised. They had to rebuild their entire village, same as Konoha. Though her village was now prospering, Iwa was not. They lacked a proper hospital and were low on medical nins. She felt that Konoha could sacrifice one of their best medics, especially since they were trying to become more peaceful with the neighboring countries. It all made sense logically, but emotionally it created some problems.

 

It was always hard leaving her friends, but she received letters often and she was required to send status reports every few months or else the hunter nins would be sent after her.

 

She had received the most curious letter a few days ago from a friend she hadn’t expected to hear from ever again. That friend was Iruka.

 

He explained that him and Kakashi had made up, and when she read that it brought a huge smile to her face. They had been very close friends, and she would never forgive herself if an Omega such as she came in between them. But what she read next gave her pause.

 

He had requested to come see her.

 

He claimed he missed her terribly and hated how they left things. She hadn't spoken to him since that fateful night. She didn't even say goodbye to him since she needed her departure to be as quick and painless. She felt terrible for all she put him through, and she’d be lying to herself if she said she didn't miss him.

 

So she found herself responding and saying 'yes'.

 

**Four days before the wedding**

Sakura stood outside the Hokage tower. It had been weeks since she had spoken to him and she could already feel her anxiety rising. She had been standing before the all too familiar building for hours it seemed, trying to muster up the courage to enter it and come face to face with the man she had been dreading to see. But this needed to be done.

 

She entered the building and started her climb to the top, walking down the wide hallway and finding herself in front of the familiar double doors. She felt a familiar nervousness take over her similar to the time he had been assigned as her patient for his physical. She blanched as she caught a whiff of his scent through the door and took in a deep breath, raising her hand and knocking on the door softly. Her breath hitched as she heard a soft “come in”, similar to the one she had heard that same day. She gulped and slowly opened the door, peering her head through and watching him freeze as she realized he had been hit with her scent.

 

“Sakura,” he said, surprise written all over his face. Her heart stilled as she laid her eyes on him, unable to keep them from roving over his body. She hadn’t seen him in forever it seemed and it took everything in her not to turn around and bolt. Suddenly the reason she had come to see him escaped her mind completely.

 

“Lord Sixth…” she said, bowing lowly before him. She felt his scent spike and it caused her body to become covered in goosebumps.

 

“You don't need to use _Lord_ Sakura,” he said, rounding the corner to approach her but she stepped back, flinching slightly. He stopped abruptly, sensing her nervousness and she saw him clench his fists slightly.

 

“I'm sure you’re busy and I promise not to take too much of your time but… I-I have a request,” she said, playing with her fingers as she kept her gaze downward. He remained silent which didn't help quell her budding nerves. She licked her lips and looked up, seeing his eyes were plastered to her form. She coughed, looking away and taking a deep breath.

 

“I need to leave…” she started, searching her mind for the right words, “I can't stay here. I think I need a change of scenery.”

 

“Because of us,” he said flatly. It made her wince slightly but she nodded her head.

 

“That’s not entirely true but, yes. I just… can't be here,” she reiterated, “I was thinking I could go to Iwa. They're low on medics and the effects of the war are still evident there,” she explained, hoping it would be enough for him to agree, though she seriously doubted it.

 

“You think I'm about to let our best medic just leave the village?” he asked, scoffing and looking away from her. He walked over to the large set of windows, crossing his arms and looking out to the village that was now his to oversee.

 

“Konoha has plenty of great medics. I'm sure you could spare me.”

 

“Or we could continue discussing why you’re really leaving,” he said lowly, remaining in his spot. She sighed and bit her lip, finding this to would be more difficult than she let on.

 

“I can't watch you marry her, but I can't be your mate either. Not now at least,” she said, shaking her head at how stupid that probably sounded, “I love you. I love you so much it hurts and I know it seems like I'm just hurting us but I need to _leave_ for us. You hurt me and you abandoned me. I need more than a week to process what's happened between us. I need more than a shotty request to be your mate,” she said and felt her heart clench at him perking up at her saying she loved him, only to tear into him again.

 

“How am I supposed to make any of it up if you’re _not here,_ ” he seethed, turning around and pointing to the ground, “I'm marrying Mei in five days. I'm already the Hokage. Just tell me you don't want me so we can be done here,” he said, hurt written all over his face.

 

“Are you mating her…?” she asked softly and he raised his brow slightly, surprised she would ask that.

 

“Not that it’s any of your business but no, I wasn’t planning on it.”

 

Sakura would be a fool if she didn't feel a slight lurch of happiness in her stomach at him saying that and she bit back the smile threatening to appear.

 

“I told you, Sakura. You are the only mate for me,” he said, making his way over to his chair and sitting down, letting out a breath that he had been holding in for a long while.

 

“I'll approve your request,” he said and she shot her head up, giving him a look of surprise. He didn't return her stare and remained seated, his attention turned to some document before him, “ it's a bit of a process but I can request for it to be hastened,” he said, grabbing a paper from a folder at the far end of his desk.

 

“Kakashi I-“

 

“Sakura it’s fine. Sometimes love isn't enough,” he said simply, his voice remaining emotionless. All she could do was nod, feeling defeated even though she got what she wanted. Or at least it _felt_ like it's what she wanted.

 

She suddenly started feeling weak. She wasn’t sure if it was from being in his presence or the emotional conversation they had been having. She felt hot. She felt herself getting clammy. Her heart beat quickened and she blanched as she felt a sudden warmth take over her belly.

 

She let out a breath, eyes pinned to the ground in disbelief. It was happening _again._ He had triggered her heat _again._ She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She hated that he had this affect on her and she could do nothing about it.

 

Sakura felt her blood run cold when she looked up to Kakashi. His eyes had darkened and he was standing over his desk, his hands gripping the edges so hard she could hear it splintering. He looked ready to leer at her and he licked his lips, his gaze settling on the wetness that was beginning to drip down her thighs.

 

 _“Omega,”_ she heard him rumble and she yelped, backing away quickly until she hit something hard. She looked to her side momentarily to look for the handle of the door, needing to escape quickly before they both did something they would regret.

 

She gasped as she felt his body pressing into her, caging her against the door behind her and she whimpered, feeling him take in a large inhale of her scent.

 

“Have you been taking your suppressants?” he bit out and she could sense that he was trying to control himself. She hesitated but then shook her head, “I-I’ve been missing days here and there…” she admitted, feeling foolish and irresponsible for doing something so reckless. She didn't think forgetting a day or two would trigger a full blown heat, but then again, anything was possible when it came to Kakashi.

 

“You need to leave,” he said above her and she whimpered against him, “Sakura if you’re serious about leaving the village then you need to go. Before I do something you regret.”

 

Sakura nodded her head and he wrenched himself away from her, swiftly turning away so that she could make her exit before he was beyond the point of controlling himself. She turned and threw the door open and ran out, running down the empty hallway while desperately hoping no one caught her scent. She had mere minutes to get home and prepare, and she prayed she got there before it was too late.

 

**************

Everything hurt. Everything burned.

 

She felt her body being ripped apart. Her abdomen was in a constant state of intense pain. The Omega in her howled for relief as Sakura did everything in her power to quell the ache. She had brought herself to orgasm twelve times in the few hours she had been home, and nothing ebbed the pain.

 

She lay on her living room floor, clutching her stomach while trying to calm her mind before she spiraled. Surely, she thought, this was how she was going to die. She had never felt pain like this from a heat. It was like her body was screaming for something that was missing. She could feel her cunt clenching for something that wasn't there. She grit her teeth every time she would clench and her abdomen would tighten in protest at the absence of what it needed.

 

It wasn't long before the wailing started. The call of the Omega in heat. The desperate cry for relief that she hoped she'd never have to experience.

 

But then she heard a frantic knocking at the door. She hadn't been certain at first, but when she realized her mind had been clearing at the command being made to her from the other side of the door, she knew her savior was there.

 

With all of her strength she picked herself up, dragging her body to the door and finding her strength returning as the Alpha on the other side continued its commands. She could feel the wetness dripping down her legs in anticipation and her cunt was _throbbing_ now. She collapsed against the door and reached to unlock it, falling onto the floor beneath her as she felt the door open and shut quickly.

 

“Alpha…” she called weakly, her head still foggy as she felt a strong pair of arms lift her with ease, “Alpha it hurts…” she continued, tears brimming her eyes.

 

“Shhh, Sakura, I'm here now. I'll make it better. I promise,” he soothed, cradling her in his arms and she buried her face in his neck, allowing for his scent to calm her. She sighed as she felt the pain slowly start to ebb away and whimpered as she felt him lower her onto her bed. She looked up at him and let a few tears fall, realizing the need in her face was being reflected off of his. He bent down and left a chaste kiss on her lips before pulling away to gaze deep in her eyes.

 

She let out a shaky breath and held onto him tight as he positioned himself at her entrance.

 

“Just this once?” she asked softly and he nodded, bringing his forehead to hers.

 

“Just this once,” he said, taking in a steadying breath and driving himself home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm crying again. 
> 
> There's the end of part 1. I hope you enjoyed it :) I'm so happy you all are loving this little ABO tale. I know it's different, but you all have been so supportive of it and it just warms my heart.
> 
> Expect part 2 sometime next week!


	13. hana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakura looks back on a long kept secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a few important comments to make before we get into part 2. 
> 
> I'm going to start moderating comments on this fic. I got a few really nasty ones on the last chapter that were just not appropriate. I ended up deleting them. 
> 
> A main concern was Sakura and Kakashi not being endgame and that I'm leading people on by including them in the tags. And I guess people are against the other relationships in this fic. I've updated the relationships to account for Kakashi and Mei now since they are married at this point. 
> 
> I want to stress yet again that Kakashi and Sakura are endgame. They are going through major hurdles to get there and if you were expecting this fic to be a straight line of just fluff and smut, this isn't the fic for you. 
> 
> One last thing, I'm a very experimental writer and there was a bit of confusion with the last chapter. I'm all for constructive criticism, but realize that I'm not going to be giving you guys straight answers in every chapter. I'm all about having my readers questioning what's going on and get answers as the story unfolds.
> 
> I was so ready to abandon this fic you guys, but I really want to thank the discord ladies for talking me down. I was so upset yesterday because I love this fic and I put so much emotion into it. I really want to stress how much I really appreciate all of the positive comments. The ones who comment on every single chapter, you guys stand out to me and I write this not just for myself but for all of you. 
> 
> Anyway, enough of my little rant. I'm really excited to get into the second installment and what you think of this chapter. It's a good one and will make you want to scream again, I hope. 
> 
> Love you guys, seriously.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura slipped back inside her modest little household, following Iruka into the kitchen space to refill her coffee and grab some of the breakfast he had prepared. It was just a simple array of fruits and some breads, but anything already prepared was more than good enough in her book. She grabbed a few pieces and gave Iruka an affectionate kiss on the cheek before plopping some strawberries in her mouth.

 

Her and Iruka had been living together in Suna for two years now. He had put in the request same as Sakura when he returned after assisting her on her trip, finding he didn’t want to be away from her. They’d return to Konoha when they were ready, but for now, Suna was their home. They actually quite loved it. The desert was more comforting than they had imagined. They initially thought it would feel awfully barren and desolate, but it was quite the opposite if you looked closely.

 

The dunes came to life as the sun would ripple the sands and the beams reflecting off the soft grains made a shimmering effect. Sakura’s favorite times of day were sunrise and sunset, when the dust would settle and it was impossibly quiet across the desert plains.The hues of pink and purple in the sky softened the landscape and when the moon would take its place in the sky it made the desert look like a sea.

 

It really was quite beautiful.

 

She was broken out of her thoughts by a soft cough from Iruka and she looked over to him, giving him a soft smile, “Something on your mind?” he asked and she shook her head, bringing the coffee mug to her lips and taking a small sip.

 

“No, just thinking about how happy I am here,” she said, a grin taking over her face that he had been reflecting. It soon faded and he took her hand in his, looking into her eyes and she gave him a confused look.

 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about…” he said, looking at her hand in his as he rubbed his thumb into her palm in thought. She furrowed her brow and tilted her head.

 

“What is it?” she asked, allowing him to maintain his hold on her hand as she sat back in the chair she had been sitting on.

 

“The Hokage will be making an appearance here in a few days,” he said, pausing to gauge Sakura’s reaction but she had none to give him, her expression unreadable, “he’s doing a tour of the countries; giving speeches at certain villages,” he said and she nodded, unsure of what to say. She pursed her lips as she looked to the side, searching her mind and heart as she internalized what Iruka had said. 

 

“Will the Mizukage be accompanying him on this tour?” she asked, finding herself unable to refer to her as his _wife._ It always left a sour taste in her mouth. He shrugged, indicating that he did not know and leaned back in his chair, staring at Sakura. She chewed on her bottom lip, knowing what he was thinking.

 

“You know he’s going to visit the hospital, right? And he’s going to want to talk to their head nurse,” he pointed out and she let out a breath and nodded.

 

“Yes, I would be surprised and honestly concerned if he wasn’t curious about the state of our health care here,” she said, about to get up from the table but Iruka signaled for her to wait, a knowing look on his face. She paused and sat back down, returning his stare.

 

“Does he know?” he asked and she raised her brows dumbly, as if she didn’t know what he was talking about.

 

“Know what?”

 

“You know,” he said, looking at her as if she had gone crazy.

 

“Of course he doesn’t know,” she said with a wave of her hand as she stood from the chair, putting her hands on her hips as she stood facing away from him.

 

She heard him sigh and lean back in his chair, “He doesn’t know,” he repeated and she shook her head, letting it fall and tucking in her chin.

 

“Why did you never tell him? Don’t you think he has a right to know?” he asked and she turned quickly, giving him an intense look.

 

“Of course he has a right to know but what was I supposed to say? He’s the Hokage and he’s married. I couldn’t just… no. I couldn’t just drop that on him,” she said and he let out a heavy sigh, bringing a hand to his temple and rubbing it.

 

“Sakura, I’ve been here two years now. I’m here because I want to help you and I love you in every sense of the word and I’ve respected your privacy. I didn't think it was my place to ask but now I think I deserve an explanation,” he said and she took a shuddering breath, maintaining her gaze on him.

 

“What do you want to know then?”

 

“I want to know what the hell happened between the two of you and why you ran away from it all,” he asked, motioning for her to sit back in the chair in front of him, “Especially now that you have his daughter, Sakura.”

 

She closed her eyes, nodded her head and sat down, knowing that what Iruka was saying was correct.

 

It was time for her to come clean.

 

**Four years earlier, the night after the wedding**

Sakura shook on the seat of the toilet as she held the little piece of plastic in her hand, her fate having been sealed.

 

A bright pink plus sign was staring back at her, mockingly.

 

She bit her lip and chuckled bitterly while shaking her head. If this was the last piece of courage she needed to leave, it was more than enough. That alone would have her running for the hills just to get away and not just from him. If she were to go through with this, she would do it alone.

 

She sat up from the toilet, tossing the test in the trash and hiked up her pants. There was the issue of who the child belonged to. Her sexual escapades with Iruka and Kakashi had been so close together, literally having been with both in one day that she couldn’t possibly know whose it was.

 

She supposed she’d find out in 9 months’ time if it ended up coming out with white hair.

 

She let out a shaky breath as she opened the door of her bathroom and grabbed her pack that was perched right outside the door. She looked around her bedroom, taking in the space before she left it for good. Her furniture was all still there, some she elected to take with her and some she generously decided to just give to Ino.

 

She would be making her journey on foot, figuring she’d make a mini vacation out of it and stopping at villages she had never been to on the way, telling herself she was due for a much- needed break, especially now that she had this little bit of information looming over her.

 

She closed her eyes and went over a mental checklist, making sure she had everything in her pack for a two week trip. She had already seen the people she had wanted to see before leaving. She had told them she wouldn’t be gone long, but only she knew she had no real intention of coming back.

 

There was only one person who insisted on seeing her off who she was most apprehensive about, and this newly acquired knowledge only made her more nervous about it. She had refused profusely when he had first asked her, saying it was a terrible idea and what would his wife think, her husband running off the night after the wedding.

 

She remembered seeing him off at her front door the previous night, suggesting he go home to scrub off all evidence of her before the ceremony the next day. He kissed her with everything he had before he left. Her lips had become swollen from the onslaught of kisses he had given her over the short time they had spent together. Her legs were wrapped around his as he had her perched against the door and she remembered him being so warm. He had been so soft in that moment, sliding his tongue against hers and drawing out soft moans within her. The sound must had ignited something within him, because his kiss soon turned rough again. It was consuming. It was heated. It was dangerous.

 

And then he asked to see her again.

 

And after a bit of fighting she said yes, like the love sick fool that she was.

 

So, she left her apartment and didn’t look back. She left and ventured to the front gates where the person who had helped seal her fate would be waiting for her. Along the journey she was going through immense inner turmoil. She didn’t know whether or not she should tell him. If it had been definitive that the father was Kakashi, she would tell him, but she couldn’t know for certain. And so she decided with a heavy heart that she wouldn’t, and that this was her burden to bear until the baby was born. She was scared, but in some ways it was already warming her heart.

 

She didn’t feel so alone.

 

As she approached the gates she could already see his form leaning against the posts. She took in a deep breath and willed some confidence in her, needing to get through this last obstacle until she was free. He picked up his head at the sound of someone approaching and picked himself up, walking towards her.

 

Her breath hitched as he immediately cloaked her in his embrace, bringing a hand to her hair and gripping her tight.

 

“Kakashi, someone might see,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest, trying to pull away but she couldn’t break from his strong grip.

 

“I told the guards I’d be posted at this side for a little while, and it’s midnight. We’re alone,” he said softly, pulling back to look at her face.

 

“What about your wife?” she asked after a long pause and he stiffened.

 

“Asleep,” he said evenly and she nodded, allowing for him to hold her for a while.

 

“Is this really happening?” she heard him ask above her and she could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes as she nodded, unable to speak the words. He pulled away from her, gripping her shoulders and looking intensely at her. She bit her lip and brought her hands to either side of his mask, watching his eyes close at her touch as she pulled it down to reveal his lips. She traced the beauty mark on the one side of his mouth like she had that one day at the hospital. He sighed at her touch as she traced along his lower lip. He then took in a large inhale, squinting his eyes as if he were concentrating on her scent.

 

“You smell different…” he said, looking down at her thoughtfully, “I can’t explain it but… it’s more like me,” he said softly and her breath hitched. Now she knew.

 

She didn’t know what had come over her but she grabbed his face with both of her hands and brought him down for the most intense kiss that she could muster. She took control, swiping her tongue along his bottom lip and moaning as she thoroughly explored his mouth, massaging every part of it and allowing herself to become lost in him one more time.

 

He groaned against her, moving his hands down to her waist as he pulled her closer. They groped and grabbed, licked and nipped until their lips were bruised and they were reduced to a breathless mess. She saw him bite his lip and bring his head up, resting his chin on the top of her head as they breathed each other in for a moment longer.

 

“I will always love you, Sakura. And I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait at the ends of the earth, until my dying breath,” he said she let out a shaky exhale and she hiccupped against him, nodding as she let the tears fall and she gripped the back of his shirt, not wanting to let go.

 

He pulled away from her, neither of them looking at each other for they both knew they were in a delicate state at that moment. She turned and faced the gates, taking in a deep breath and taking her first step.

 

She didn’t look back.

 

**Present day**

Sakura sat in her seat, twiddling her thumbs as her and Iruka sat in tense silence.

 

“Well I think it’s quite obvious that Hana is not my child,” Iruka said suddenly and Sakura chuckled, shaking her head.

 

“No, she is not…” she said, the imagine of Hana taking over her mind. Her little girl was three now and had the most gorgeous white hair that had just a tint of pink. Her eyes were the most beautiful emerald, like her mother. She was an amazing mix of the two, and Sakura wasn't too modest to admit that her daughter was the most beautiful human being she had ever laid eyes on.

 

From the moment she delivered Hana it was confirmed she shared a child with Kakashi. She came out with that stark white hair, making Sakura’s heart stop. She had always had that feeling, though, that the child was Kakashi’s. From the moment he had scented her and noticed the change, she just knew. A part of him was growing inside her and would stay with her for the rest of her life.

 

“He needs to know, Sakura,” he said, his voice penetrating through her thoughts and she sighed, dropping her head as she clasped her hands together and played with them in agitation.

 

“I know…” she said softly and he propped himself up from the chair.

 

“He’ll be here for about a week. That gives little chance for you to hide from him and I can _guarantee_ once he lays his eyes on that little girl he’ll know she’s his,” he said, shooting her a knowing look.

 

Just then she heard footsteps padding along the top floor. Both Iruka and Sakura looked above to the ceiling where the footsteps were emanating from, focusing on the slight vibrations they were making. She smiled to herself as she heard her sing-song voice calling out for her mother, racing across the upstairs hallway and bounding down the stairs.

 

Sakura turned to look at her daughter, hair all wild from sleep and a crazy look in her eyes from the adrenaline of just having woken up, which seemed quite contradictory to Sakura when she stopped to think about it.

 

Hana bounded toward her and swiftly climbed onto her lap, giving her mother a peck on her lips.

 

“Morning, momma,” she squeaked as she bounced on Sakura’s lap and she looked over to Iruka, giving him a beaming smile, “Morning, Uncle Iruka!”

 

They both smiled at Hana, marveling at such a young thing’s happiness as she picked at the scraps on Sakura’s plate. Sakura smoothed out her hair, running her hands through the little tangles and admiring the pink strands hidden among the white. It gave her pause, looking towards Iruka as he observed the two, wondering how different things would be if she had told Kakashi.

 

How she would feel if it were him across her dining room table.

 

Deep down, it made her feel an immense amount of guilt. There really was no reason for her to keep Hana from him. She was just scared, and she kicked herself over and over for that being her reason to hide her existence from him. 

 

Sakura looked to Iruka and gave him a knowing glance, communicating that there would be a discussion between her and Kakashi, the first  _real_ discussion between the two of them in years. 

 

I made her heart flutter and break at the same time, knowing there would be implications for keeping a secret such as this, and the knowledge that he may never forgive her...

 

Well, she couldn't even bare to think of that. 

 

 


	14. collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi arrives in Suna with Mei. Both him and Sakura reflect on the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a filler. It's necessary though and goes back and forth between POVs. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Next time Kakashi and Sakura have the fateful discussion. 
> 
> Also- I so appreciate the comments you all left on the previous chapter. It really warmed my heart that so many of you left such kind words.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

On foot, it took about three days to get to Sunagakure.

 

But being Hokage came with its many perks.

 

Him and Mei were both aboard the train, her reading some feminine novel and him staring out the window in thought. He looked down at the ring on his finger momentarily, the object becoming less foreign as the years went by.

 

Being married hadn’t turned out to be as awful as he imagined, but their situation was slightly different. She was still the Mizukage, so they didn't really spend too much time together, but the time they did spend they had grown quite fond of each other. They both agreed to the arrangement, and even after some time Mei admitted she had reservations as well, but they both had one thing in common, and that was their love for their respective villages.

 

Mei was a wonderful woman. She was confident, strong-willed, exuded power, but she was also incredibly kind and humble. She really was a fantastic partner, but deep down he knew he couldn't love her. And he had a sneaking suspicion she couldn't either.

 

And how could they? They were forced into something they both had strong reservations against from the very beginning, having no choice but to follow through. Mei didn't have a potential mate in line like he felt he did, but she still fantasized about finding 'the one’ and he sympathized heavily with that. He had told her his story and she felt for him, deeply so. He found that they understood each other greatly in that regard, and it made him extremely thankful.

 

But that didn't mean they hadn’t grown accustomed to one another over the years. They both had needs and they both couldn't deny the attraction they felt. She would plan her heats whenever she was in Konoha or he was in Kirigakure. If he was in rut it was a bit more complicated. He still found himself going into them randomly, usually if thoughts drifted to Sakura as they often did and he would just have to take care of it himself. Still, he was thankful for her assistance, finding he even enjoyed it after some time.

 

“Kakashi? Are you alright?” he heard her ask, breaking him out of his thoughts. Her face softened into a kind expression as she bent forward to place her delicate hand on his thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

“Hmmm? Oh. Yes. Just lost in thought is all,” he said, a ghost of a smile forming underneath his mask.

 

“Is it Sakura?” she asked suddenly and he stiffened underneath her, shifting in his seat as he suddenly felt uncomfortable, “Among other things,” he said and she tutted, angling her head more towards him.

 

“Kakashi you'll have to face her at some point during our visit…” she reasoned and he tore his gaze away from her, staring out the window.

 

It had been four years. Four very _painful_ years without her existence in the village she belonged in. But no.  She left because of _him._ She fled to get away from _him._ Couldn't bare to be in the same village as _him._

 

He would still get reports but they were mostly from Iruka, stating everything was fine as usual. Each letter became more mundane than the next. He didn't care to read Iruka's letters because he was well aware him and Sakura were living together. Reading them always made his teeth clench in fury and any time he thought about it he just wanted to destroy something. One letter had caused him to go into a frenzy so intense he practically destroyed his entire office, sending the desk flying across the other side of the room and papers scattered every where.

 

To make matters worse he would have to see her at some point during his visit. It was custom for the visiting Kages to visit places essential to any village such as a hospital. It made him tense, wondering how incredibly awkward and painful that conversation would be. He had been going over it obsessively in his head to the point of near insanity.

 

He hoped to Kami she was taking her suppressants. Because after four years of not seeing one another, he knew it would take everything in him to control himself.

 

Four years and he still wasn’t over her. How truly _pathetic_ it sounded. And he knew for certain he never would. Mei was aware of it as well. They both agreed to never mate, unless they _truly_ fell in love with one another, but after four years and this impending meeting, they knew it was likely to never happen. He told her he would wait forever for her, and he meant it.

 

But there was one moment where it wasn't like that. The maddening sadness and empty feeling he felt in his chest in her absence.

 

No. There was one particular instance that shone bright in his mind.

 

About a year after she had left there was a singular moment on a particular day where he felt so clearly a warmth take over him. He had felt _happy_. He had felt _jovial_. He remembered lying in the grass that spring afternoon and suddenly being hit with what felt like a ray of light. It shown bright in him and he felt an overwhelming surge of happiness take over him that he couldn't explain. He had actually _cried._ Randomly.

 

It was the strangest thing and the happiest he had ever felt. And then it was over. Almost in an instant, as if a light had been turned off. And it would remain one of the greatest mysteries of his life.

 

With that final thought Kakashi looked back towards Mei and grasped the hand that was still on his thigh. He gave it a squeeze, bringing her hand up to his mouth to give it a chaste kiss and she smiled.

 

“I'm prepared,” he said confidently and she gave him a wry smile, “Just say what you need to so you don't risk hurting the both of you,” she said simply and he nodded, focusing his gaze back out to the desert landscape outside the window. He could see the skyline of the village start appearing.

 

And through years of stillness, his heart began pounding again.

 

**********

 

The festivities had started about a week ago.

 

It was always an exciting time when one of the Kages would visit. The hosting village would liven up to show off how amazing their village was and show how they were prospering. And it was.

 

Sakura loved living in Suna. Spirits were always up and there seemed to be a change in atmosphere after Gaara became the Kazekage. His youthfulness spread far and wide, influencing other Kages to change methodologies and be more with the times.

 

And times were indeed changing. It was considered peace time now, and the call for unification did wonders for the villages. In just the past few years Sakura could feel it, that things were maybe finally calming down and she wouldn't have to worry about a war on the horizon. She wouldn't have to worry about Hana's future. Ninja or not, war took its toll.

 

Sakura was currently in her office at the hospital, working on organizing patient documents that had gotten messed up from a recent glitch they had. It wasn't terribly uncommon, but common enough that it drove Sakura up the wall. She was the head nurse for goodness sake. She shouldn't be cooped up in her office doing damage control.

 

She had company though, which made her day a bit better. Iruka was busy at their academy and Hana’s normal sitter was sick, so Sakura figured they'd have a nice mommy and daughter day after she finished some maintenance. Hana was currently at the front of her small office, drawing with her collection of colored pencils on some scrap paper that Sakura didn't need.

 

Sakura allowed her gaze to hover for a while, observing her daughter who was completely content on the floor, scribbling away onto the scrap piece of paper she had given her without a care in the world. She lingered on her white hair, noticing it was a bit brighter today. She wondered if maybe the desert sun had a hand in that. To her dismay, the little pink strands were starting to fade, making her look more like her father with every passing day.

 

She would play the conversation over and over in her head, it still not feeling quite right. She wanted to tell Kakashi more than anything, but the coward in her knew he would never forgive her. She didn’t deserve it. Keeping a child from their father when you have no reason to… there just isn’t any room for forgiveness.

 

But her time was up. She couldn’t run away anymore. He would be in Suna within the next few hours, and at some point during his visit he would have to meet with her. Even if he wasn’t obligated out of pretense of the job, they both knew they would. Nothing was keeping them apart now.

 

She suddenly started feeling hot. She needed to stop thinking about him or else she’d be forced to go home and put Hana down for a nap so she could have some alone time. Very often would she find herself in that situation, needing to relieve herself after her thoughts were consumed by him. Even thousands of miles away, he still had this effect on her that left her a wanting mess.

 

She missed his touch. Missed his dominance. Missed his need for her.

 

She could almost feel it sometimes. Alone at night, she could swear she'd feel a connection opening, as if she were peering into his mind. She was certain she could _feel_ him and she’d fantasize about visiting him in his dreams, relieving the unbearable want she felt in him. She’d hover over him as he slept, covering his face with hot open-mouthed kisses. He’d wake just as she was trailing to his neck, biting at the sensitive skin to make him shudder underneath her. She’d imagine he would feel overwhelmed by her presence and tears would brim his eyes with an overwhelming mix of want and lust. And she’d lower herself onto him, watching as he cried out in pleasure underneath her. Alpha and Omega. Reunited.

 

She wondered if he felt it too.

 

But it was only just a dream, she would eventually tell herself. And if the connection were ever real, well, it was all she could really hold on to.

 

She really couldn’t say what was going to happen when they saw each other again. She couldn’t say whether it’d be civil. She couldn’t say whether they would fuck right on her desk the moment they laid eyes on one another. There were so many possibilities it made Sakura’s head swim. He consumed her thoughts with every waking moment it seemed the past few days and it was slowly driving her into a wanton mess.

 

She wanted him. Kami, she wanted him, even after all of these years. But what she had done, what she had _kept_ from him. It was simply unforgiveable, and the greatest betrayal between them yet. Everything he had done to her, it didn’t even matter anymore. _Nothing_ would touch this.

 

Because once he found she had been keeping his daughter from him all these years, he would hate her for sure.

 

**********

 

Kakashi stepped off the train, closing his eyes and taking in the feel of the desert sun on his exposed skin. He didn’t particularly care for the desert, or the sun for that matter, but even he had to admit it was a welcome change compared to the torrential downpours Konoha had been facing as of late.

 

He felt Mei take his hand in hers and he looked over, returning her soft smile as they both took in the village before them. They had been given a warm welcome, villagers having lined up and crowded all behind the train station to greet the two Kages. Kakashi would have had to call himself a fool if he hadn’t immediately started scanning for a certain pink haired woman, but he’d be equally as foolish if he ever expected her to be there.

 

He sighed as he gave his wife’s hand a reassuring squeeze, sensing her nervousness as well. It was their first tour and it had taken them four years to get there. It was daunting, but he knew they could get through it together.

 

Gaara had been waiting for them inside the station, giving them a small smile as the two made their way through the double doors, officially stepping into the village of Suna. They all bowed to one another, exchanging hand shakes and hugs as well. They had all been through a lot together, and it was truly a relief to see that their efforts during the war had paid off. And Gaara was an amazing Kazekage, having called for many necessary changes that reached neighboring villages, finding him influential to the point of making their own changes.

 

It was a joyous time. For most.

 

As they made their way from the station both Kakashi and Mei greeted the villagers, taking their time to speak to people individually and take in their concerns, if they had any. Most just gushed over their relationship and how perfect they seemed together, making Kakashi wince slightly. It was not lost on him that Mei was a very desirable woman and he was not ignorant to that fact that he himself found her desirable, but they still knew they were doing this for their respective villages.

 

But no one needed to know that.

 

So, they kept with their appearances, suddenly becoming puppets as villagers would ask them to kiss as if they were newlyweds. They didn’t mind and in fact liked being close to one another from time to time. Their designations made it so. He could feel the Omega in her purr as he wrapped his arm around her waist, nuzzling at her partially exposed gland and coaxing a sigh out of her.

 

The villagers seemed to like to play on that as well. An Omega and Alpha joined by marriage as well as leaders of their own villages. It was like a goddamn fairytale for most.

 

When they finished greeting the villagers Gaara escorted Mei and Kakashi to their hotel, going over their itinerary for their stay.

 

“Are you both alright with on of my Jonin fetching for you both in two hours for your address to the village?” he asked, maintaining his pace in font of him. Kakashi and Mei looked at each other, reading one another’s eyes as they nodded.

 

“That sounds fine, Lord Kazekage,” Mei said and Gaara chuckled softly.

 

“You both may call me, Gaara. We’ve been through enough together. We’re friends,” he insisted and Kakashi and Mei smiled, finding themselves agreeing whole heartedly.

 

Kakashi and Mei met during the war, having been members of the Allied Forces. That was when he had really bear witness to her prowess, and she stunned indeed. She was a powerful shinobi, making their partnership even more poetic to the masses.

 

As they approached their room Gaara turned to face them, gesturing to the door, “I’ll leave you both to prepare. There will be a Jonin posted here at all hours of the day and night, should you need anything,” he said and Kakashi bowed, showing their appreciation.

 

“Thank you, Gaara. We look forward to our stay here,” he said sincerely and Gaara smiled before turning to leave them, saying he would see them in a couple hours. The two of them sighed in unison, tired from their journey. Mei opened the door to their expansive suite and traipsed inside.

 

“I think I’m going to take a bath. Would you like to join me?” she asked, tone as if she didn’t care if he did or didn’t. He smiled and shook his head, shrugging off his jacket.

 

“I’m going to shut my eyes for a bit before we need to go out again. It’s going to be a long evening,” he said, making his over to their bed and she nodded, walking over and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek before making her way to the wash room and disappearing behind the door.

 

Kakashi lay down on the bed, twisting and turning a few times before settling and making himself comfortable. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing as he heard the water from the bath rushing into the tub, finding the sound of the running water relaxing.

 

He could hear Mei start to hum, and it wasn’t long before his mind drifted to Sakura and what it would be like if it were her in this hotel room with him,humming in her sweet and velvety voice and she stripped herself down to get into the warm water. His throat felt tight as he felt his gland becoming agitated and he knew he had to slam those thoughts out of his head before he caused something detrimental.

 

So he cleared his mind of all things, turning his face to the side and allowed sleep to take over, if only for a few moments.

 

**********

 

Sakura and Iruka stood in the crowd, Hana perched at her mother’s side. Everyone was waiting for the Hokage to make his appearance and Sakura could practically _feel_ everyone’s anticipation. She’d be lying to herself if she weren’t anxious to see him too. It had been so long and the thought of seeing him was sending her body into nervous shakes. She could sense Iruka was aware of her state, looking over to her with concern every so often. He brought his hand down to hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

 

“It’ll all be alright,” he murmured and she nodded, taking in a deep breath and looking up towards the large balcony where Kakashi would be.

 

“Mommy, why are we here?” she heard Hana ask from below and she smiled, looking down at her daughter.

 

“Someone very important has come to visit,” she said, running her fingers through Hana’s hair.

 

“Is it, Daddy?” Hana asked excitedly, clasping her hands together and Sakura’s breath hitched, wrenching her eyes off her daughter after shaking her head at the young girl. Hana pouted and kicked the dirt beneath her feet, swaying impatiently as everyone continued waiting.

 

 _Yes… it’s, Daddy,_ she thought solemnly, looking towards Iruka who gave her a sympathetic look. All of a sudden she felt no desire to be there. All she wanted was to turn and bolt and face this another day. Her daughter’s _father_ would be there, in this very village. How was she supposed to wrap her head around it?

 

She all of a sudden heard the crowd erupt into a mighty roar, cheers emanating from all points of the sea of people that she was currently in the middle of. She looked up, terrified, eyes glued to the very spot he would be standing. She felt herself start to sweat at the anticipation, unsure if the butterflies in her stomach were from nervousness or excitement now.

 

Her heart froze as she saw a figure with a tuft of white hair slowly walk to the edge of the large balcony. She felt herself stiffen as she confirmed the figure to be him. Tall, fit, donned in white and completely immaculate.

 

He was perfect.

 

He was perfect and she wanted to cry upon seeing him. It had been so long and the rush of emotions that filled her up were almost too much to bear. She choked down tears as she heard his booming voice, addressing the villagers below and her eyes had threatened go roll to the back of her head as the memories invaded her mind, reminding her of how his voice sounded above her, beneath her, behind her. She could feel herself start to smile, all fears and doubts going out the window as she was looking at _her_ Alpha.

 

But all of that happiness, all of that joy she felt was short lived, and she could feel her hands clenching , for a woman had approached from behind him. The most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. He motioned for her to take her place next to him and introduced her as the Mizukage and his partner.

 

 _His_ partner. _His_ wife.

 

_His Omega…_

 

They clasped hands. And didn't let go.

 

 


	15. micro cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone deals with the same surprising news.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Sakura felt like she was going to be sick.

 

She wrenched her eyes away from the happy couple on the balcony. She couldn’t stomach the pain she was feeling. They looked so damn _happy_ and it disgusted her that she felt that way about it. She should be in support for them but she wasn’t. He was _her_ Alpha. Not the Mizukage’s.

 

And that thought alone made her want to gag even more. What in the world had gotten into her? Just seeing him in the presence of another woman let alone another _Omega w_ as enough to make her want to bound up towards that balcony and give that woman a piece of her Omega mind.

 

This whole situation was bringing out something in her that she didn’t recognize. She used to be able to rationalize things. She used to be able to have a handle on her jealousy. But not today. There was something about seeing him with Mei that made her feel like she was going to lose her mind.

 

“I need to leave,” she whispered to Iruka and handed Hana off to him. He was about to say something but she held a hand out and turned around before he could protest, quickly working her way through the heavy crowd and trying desperately to block Kakashi’s penetrating voice from her ears. Her bottom lip began to quiver as she was having difficulty trying to get a handle on herself.

 

But then suddenly, as if something had possessed her mind, she felt a soothing and familiar warmth wash over her. It was calming and all-consuming. The light buzzing that had taken over her mind made her feel slightly lightheaded and her legs buckling from underneath her. Sakura allowed herself to slow and close her eyes, allowing for the warmth to cloak her and she could have sworn she felt the embrace of a certain someone from behind. The realization that she couldn’t hear him speaking anymore suddenly hit her as she heard a familiar voice penetrating her mind.

 

 _“My Omega…”_ the deep voice crooned in her head and she let out a sigh, her mind becoming enveloped by the velvety tone.

 

Sakura slowly turned her head and felt her eyes widen. She gasped, for the Alpha on the balcony was looking straight at her, and she felt as if she were standing right in front of him. For a moment she could have sworn she was being pulled to him, her body flying above the sea of people, searching for his embrace.

 

Sakura could _feel_ that he felt her. She could s _cent_ him from what felt like a mile away _._

Excitement. Surprise. Nervousness.

 

All things she was feeling. All things they were both humming through this strange connection.

 

But then she felt the connection breaking, shaking her head slightly as if she had woken from a dream. She focused back to where she was rooted and looked up to see that Mei had beckoned for Kakashi to leave from the edge of the balcony, their opening remarks now over. She saw him hesitate, lingering on her form a moment longer before wrenching his gaze from her and walking back to his wife.

 

She was surprised to feel that she wasn’t upset. She wasn’t jealous. She didn’t feel like she was losing control. What she felt… the connection that had just opened between them. She could see into his heart. Into his soul.  

 

Sakura knew that he still loved her. And it gave her hope.

 

**********

 

Kakashi felt himself slowly losing it.

 

Him and Mei were back at their hotel room, Kakashi pacing and holding his head in his hands as Mei watched him, concern written all over her face as she watched her husband in clear distress.

 

“Explain it to me…again,” he heard her say, sensing she was trying to wrap her head around what he had just word vomited to her. He let out an exasperated sigh.

 

“I can’t just e _xplain_ it,” he said, clearly frustrated as he ran a nervous hand through his unruly hair, “it was like… it was like she was right in front of me. But she wasn’t. I could _feel_ her, Mei. I could smell her and… it was almost like I could see into her mind,” he said, disbelief written on his face as he sure he sounded nothing short of crazy.

 

Mei let out a shaky breath, placing her hands on either side of the bed.

 

“Kakashi… I think you and I both know what this means,” she said and he looked to her, a glimmer of hope in his eyes and she bit her lip, scrunching her brows as she looked up at him and held his gaze, “The evidence supports the research. What you've just recounted… it only means one thing,” she said and Kakashi held his breath.

 

“You… you’re both true pairs. You were destined from birth to be… together,” she said, shock and amazement oozing out of her voice.

 

“This is… this is huge, Kakashi. Pairs like this- are quite rare. This is why you’ve been so drawn to Sakura. This is why you both go into your respective ruts and heats if you so much as even _think_ about one another.”

 

Kakashi shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. He knew Sakura had felt it. They hadn’t seen each other in years and their reunion hadn’t even been face to face. It was like they were _brought_ together by some kind of force. Kakashi could barely breath, a wide grin taking over his face.

 

He looked towards Mei who had a small smile, trying to mirror his. He knew she was genuinely happy for him, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty for feeling happy that he had found his true mate, all the while she was still searching.

 

“I need to get to the hospital,” he suddenly thought and she nodded her head eagerly, but then hesitated, getting up from the bed and clasping her hands in front of her.

 

“Kakashi-“ she said and he turned to her, her face unreadable as he was halfway through the door.

 

“I just want you to know… I’m genuinely happy for you. We agreed to this… arrangement for our villages. As harsh as it may sound- I know we didn’t do this for love-“

 

“Mei-“ he said softly, sympathy in his eyes as he took a few steps towards her but she put her hand up, immediately halting him.

 

“No- dammit, Kakashi I need to say this. I know we’ll always love each other in some way… but in our hearts we know that there is a place we’ve been keeping open for a special someone- and for you that someone is Sakura,” she said, looking to him as he paused, unmoving as he stared at her thoughtfully. He sighed and gave her a soft smile.

 

“Thank you, Mei,” he said after a few moments, walking towards her and pulling her into his embrace, “for everything,” he murmured into her hair and she nodded, pulling away and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek before letting him go.

 

Completely.

 

**********

 

Kakashi could barely contain the grin that was plastered to his face as he bounded down the streets of Suna, making his way towards the hospital where his mate currently was. When he closed his eyes and focused, he could s _cent_ her. He could _feel_ her.

 

He couldn’t wait to get his hands on her.

 

Four years felt like an eternity to him, and he could hardly resist the spring in his step as the hospital came into view. Once he reached the glass doors he marched in, immediately being welcomed by various members of the hospital staff, surprised by his sudden appearance.

 

He made his way to the front desk, a young Beta girl perched behind it as she looked at him in awe, “H-Hello, Lord Hokage,” she said, bowing and Kakashi chuckled, smiling at the young girl and leaning against the desk.

 

“I was wondering if your head nurse was here. Ms. Haruno?” he asked and the girl immediately nodded, face beaming as she pointed towards the large central staircase.

 

“She just arrived a few minutes ago, so she should still be in her office if you wanted to meet with her. She’s on the 3rd floor, room 3D.”

 

Kakashi smiled at the girl, nodding his head and pushed off the desk, making his way to the staircase and acknowledging the various people who had stopped to say hello and exchange pleasantries. He didn’t want to be rude, but there was a definite part of him that wished he could let his Alpha rear its aggressive head, allowing for it to growl and snarl at the people who were in the way of him and his Omega.

 

He bounded up the staircase, two steps at a time until he reached the third floor. He was starting to become dizzy- not because of fatigue from climbing up three flights of stairs, but because her scent had become all consuming the closer he got. He felt time was slowing as he walked down the hallway, looking left and right and feeling his heart beat faster as the letters of the alphabet began ascending.

 

A, B, C… then D.

 

He was standing in front of her office and all he could manage to do was rest his head against it. The very door that separated him from his Omega.

 

His mate.

 

He took in a deep breath, allowing for himself to be comforted by her scent that he had sorely missed. It was as if his soul had been torn in half and her scent was now mending it. He couldn’t wait to see her. To hold her. To mark every inch of her.

 

But his reminiscent thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a slight clanging and various thumping noises coming from the other side of the door. He lifted his nose towards the barrier, scenting the shift he had felt and his breath hitched slightly as he scented it.

 

Fear.

 

It made him back away from the door slightly, wondering if she had sensed him and that was her reaction. He furrowed his brow in confusion but shook his head, ridding himself of such thoughts. They were _destined_ for each other, written in the stars- and he was not about to let insecurity hold him back from that.

 

So with the last bit of courage he had he grasped the door handle and turned, wrenching the barrier open and revealing…

 

 _Sakura…_ he thought, speechless as his eyes rested on hers for the first time in eons it seemed. Perched beside her desk, emerald eyes wide with surprise as he observed her mouth working, trying to find the words to greet him but failing miserably.

 

She was radiant. Dare he say more radiant than before and she looked… mature. Wise beyond her years. His heart almost melted as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and the faintest hint of a blush covered her face.

 

“Kakashi…” she murmured and his heart instantly fluttered, watching as her eyes widened and she ducked her head, “I-I mean, Lord Sixth,” she said, bowing low and he shook his head, not believing his girl to be so painfully endearing.

 

“Sakura…” he choked out, voice dripping with desire. It wasn’t sexual in the least. He just wanted _her._ She looked around her office, as if she were looking for something and ended up just settling her gaze on him again.

 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you until later…” she grumbled, walking past him to a corner of the room where a chair was placed and dragged it to him, motioning for him to sit but he hesitated.

 

“Sakura,” he repeated and she looked up at him, a pensive look in her eyes, as if she were unsure what was going to happen during this meeting or what was expected of her. He approached her slowly, her scent shifting again into something he could not quite read. Maybe that’s what it was. Uncertainty. 

 

He was standing in front of her and felt him bringing his hands to her shoulders. He immediately felt a pull upon touching her body, as if he was meant to be holding her. He felt her sigh underneath him and she leaned her head into his arm, closing her eyes as he slowly moved again, pulling her into his embrace and closing his eyes as well.

 

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity. Just standing. Holding one another. Not uttering a word. And he was in paradise.

 

“I missed you…” he heard her whisper and it made his heart clench. He chuckled softly and pulled away, causing her to grumble a bit beneath him but he hooked a finger under her chin, tilting it up towards him to get a look into the beautiful emerald eyes he had missed so much. The very eyes he’d got lost in any time they were intimate together.

 

He watched her lick her lips and he held back a groan, giving her a coy smile instead as he lowered himself, trying hard not to shake from the anticipation and come off as a hormonal teenage boy who was about to have his first kiss. He lowered himself to her lips and when they connected…

 

Something opened. A channel of sorts. The connection was so intense he felt dizzy. He could feel her _every_ emotion. He could feel how it felt for _him_ to kiss _her._ It was so overwhelming that he backed her up into her desk, teeth clashing and tongues entangling as they became desperate for more. She groaned into him and he felt wetness against his cheeks. He had known before he felt the wet warmth that she had been crying, having felt the pipe burst a few moments after their lips connected.

 

She moaned sweetly and he perched her up onto her desk. She immediately wrapped her legs around him, grasping at his flack jacket and breaking the kiss, trailing her lips across his jaw and to his neck, finding his gland and licking at it softly. He groaned loudly, the sudden onslaught of physical touches from her almost too much to bear. He let his hands fall to either side of her and grasp the edge of the desk as she worked his neck, finding it difficult to stand.

 

“Sakura…” he moaned in desperation and she hummed against him.

 

“I know… I know,” she repeated against his neck and he shot his eyes open, “I felt it too,” she admitted breathlessly into his neck, continuing with her ministrations, “When you were giving your speech. When you found me,” she said, bringing her face back to his to look deep into his eyes.

 

“I felt you,” and she kissed his chin.

 

“I heard you,” then his cheek.

 

“I smelled you,” his forehead.

 

“ _I wanted you_ ,” she said and delved into his lips again, causing him to moan deeply at her admission, pressing into her and allowing her to surge her body closer to his. He pressed his already aching hardness into her heat, rolling his hips as she nibbled on his bottom lip before breaking it, throwing her head back and gasping at the feel of his erection rubbing against her.

 

“Alpha…” she crooned and he damn near lost it, causing her desk to shake with the force of him rutting against her. He found her gland, pulsing with need and he licked his lips, about to delve into it but he paused, something catching his attention in the corner of his eye.

 

He blinked, focusing his vision as he set his attention on a framed photo perched on her windowsill. He shook his head slightly, furrowing his brow and he felt Sakura turn her head slightly.

 

“Kakashi?” she asked in confusion, looking behind her slightly to find what he was staring at and he felt her tense immediately beneath him, her breath hitching in her throat. Her scent shifted then, and he could only sense one thing. Fear.

 

The same fear he had scented outside the door.

 

His gaze darkened as the photo became clearer to him.

 

It was Sakura- the cityscape of Suna behind her as she smiled, a little girl perched at her side, face beaming and she had…

 

The most beautiful head of white hair. She even had a damn near perfect and angelic face with… was that a beauty mark above her lip?

 

Kakashi felt his mouth go dry, ripping his gaze from the photo as he slowly looked to Sakura, face hung low in shame, unable to look at him. Something in him snapped, seeing that. Seeing her submitting. Seeing her become so cowardly. She looked up at him, tears brimming her eyes and lip quivering.

 

“Who is that?” he asked in a commanding tone, though he already knew the answer.

 

Sakura took a deep breath, bringing a thumb to her eyes and brushing the tears that fell down her face. She looked into his eyes as she let out a shaky breath.

 

“Her name is Hana. She’s 3 years old, and… she’s your daughter,” she said, voice choking as she said the last word. His eyes widened, knowing it to be true but finding it difficult to process when the actual word came out of her mouth. His mind was in a haze, trying to understand. Trying to focus on how. When. Why.

 

But then he thought harder, and his memories brought him back to the very day that she left. Four years ago. Them both standing at the front gates and him holding her. How she had smelled so _different._ And then that moment a year after that. He had _felt_ his daughter being born. He suddenly felt faint, the new information too much to bear as he turned, leaning against a wall as he held a hand to his head.

 

“How long had you known?” he asked quietly.

 

“The night I left.”

 

“And you kept it from me,” he said, looking to her and she paused, maintaining their stare and she nodded slowly, “You kept _her_ from me” he reiterated and she tensed, but nodded again.

 

“You lied to me,” he mumbled and shook his head, feeling his own tears starting to brim as he did the only thing he felt he could do in that moment.

 

Run. 

 

**********

 

Mei was sitting in their hotel room, finding it peacefully quiet as she had the large glass paneled doors open, letting in the fresh air of the desert as she looked out from where she was currently lounging, allowing her thoughts to quiet as she prepared for bed.

 

Kakashi had left about an hour ago, so she took it upon herself to enjoy some light reading. Reading was one of her many pleasures, and she found it humorous how Kakashi would unabashedly read his smutty literature in her presence. It caused her to chuckle, shaking her head as she turned the page.

 

But then she felt something. A sudden shift in the air as she felt chaos approaching. Something was wrong, she felt.

 

Very wrong.

 

All of a sudden Kakashi came storming into their room, slamming the door closed with such force that Mei jumped, settling her gaze on his and eyes widening when she saw how in distress he was. She immediately sat herself up and stood, walking towards him carefully.

 

He was whimpering. The Alpha before her was in such a state of distress that he was _whimpering_.

 

And then in a flash, he was on her. His lips connected with hers and they shared a sloppy, desperate and heated kiss. She couldn’t help but moan as his tongue immediately delved into her mouth. She squeaked in surprise as he lifted her up, carrying her over to the bed and ripping her dress from her. She bit her lip, watching as he gazed at her in hunger and brought his mouth to her neck, attacking her gland and sucking at it like a calf desperate for its mother’s milk. She could feel the tension and the hostility, making her tense.

 

“Please…” she heard Kakashi say against her neck and she stilled, bringing her hands to his face and lifting him up, gazing into his eyes and she gasped, surprised by what she saw.

 

He was crying. She had never seen him cry in the entire time she had known him. She scented him and her breath hitched.

 

Betrayal.

 

That one whiff gave her understanding. It gave some semblance of an explanation. So, she bit her lip and nodded her head, bringing her lips to his and giving him a soft kiss before flipping their positions, placing herself on top of him and freeing himself of all of his clothes. The Omega in her urged her to kiss and lick every inch of his body, ridding the hostile scent from him until he was reduced into a wanting mess. She purred against his skin, reveling in how he shuddered under her touch. She had never been able to have this much control over him, and she found that she was loving every minute of it.

 

So she traveled down the length of his body, sitting herself up and placing her quivering heat over his length. She slowly lowered herself onto him and watched his eyes roll to the back of his head, hands immediately grasping her waist as he bucked his hips, burying himself deep inside her.

 

Mei threw her head back, moaning loudly as his thick cock filled her to the brim, setting a fast and punishing pace from the beginning. Sitting himself up, he burried his face into the comfort heat of her breasts as he licked and nibbled at her mounds, grabbing one with his hand and kneading it. She gripped his hair and moaned as he wrapped his tongue around a nipple, biting and lapping at it until it was raw and did the same with the other.

 

She was panting and he was fucking her wildly, reducing himself to the animal within him but she wasn’t complaining. Mei could never get this raw emotion out of him and it only spurred her on, meeting him for thrust after thrust as their sweat covered bodies slid against each other.

 

“Omega…” he groaned into the valley of her breasts and she could tell he was close. Mei bit her lip, lifting herself and lowering with every bit of energy that she had left, feeling his cock start twitching from inside her. The Alpha in him growled lowly, wrapping a hand under her shoulder and to her back, grabbing her hair and pulling so that her head was forced to fall back. He sucked at her gland once again, the action spurring both of their orgasms as his knot swelled and locked onto her and her orgasm crashed over her at the same time.

 

They were a panting and quivering mess, her waiting as he continued licking at her gland, feeling him purr against her in content. They sat there, holding each other in their respective arms as they waited for his knot to let up. She brought her hands to his hair, smoothing it back as she pulled his head away from her. She looked down at him for a few moments, waiting for him to look at her or say something but his eyes were plastered to the door, deep in thought.

 

“I have a daughter…” he finally said and she furrowed her brow, not quite understanding the random statement.

 

“You have a daughter…” she repeated and he nodded his head, sighing and resting his head against her chest.

 

“Sakura kept her from me. For three years,” he said, biting his lower lip as he shook his head, “I can’t… I can’t even wrap my head around it,” he said, closing his eyes so hard as if this new knowledge was making his head hurt. Mei sighed, feeling his knot letting up and she carefully pulled herself off of him, moving over to sit against the head board as she clasped her hands in her lap, trying hard to wrap her head around everything that had happened in the span of a few minutes.

 

Sakura had made a grave mistake, there was no doubt about that. But now that they shared a _child_ together? There was nothing to be done now than to right the wrongs, no matter how anyone felt about it. This was his _daughter._ Kakashi had a _daughter._ And he needed to go to her mother and insist on answers. No matter how Kakashi felt. How Sakura felt.

 

How she felt.

 

“You should go to her…” Mei whispered and Kakashi shot his head up, disbelief written on his face, “I’m not leaving-“

 

“Kakashi,” she said, a finite tone in her voice, “you just found out you had a daughter, and your first instinct was to come here and fuck me? Out of spite?” she said, a bit of bite in her voice as she saw his head lower.

 

“Go to Sakura,” she repeated, getting herself up from the bed and heading for the bathroom, “I’m going out tonight, so don’t wait up,” she called and she could feel him tense.

 

“By yourself? Mei, you barely know this town,” she heard him call and she paused, looking to the ground as she searched her mind.

 

“Iruka,” she said suddenly and turned to look at him, confusion plastered to his face and mouth hung open.

 

“I’ve always liked that Beta. Have someone summon him so he can take me out. That way you and Sakura can have time to yourselves. Then maybe Iruka and I can find something good out of the _shit_ you two put us through because you can't get your _shit_ together,” she said, swiftly turning before she could see Kakashi’s reaction. She closed the door to the bathroom, leaning against it as she smiled and bit her lip, finding she was looking forward to an evening out for the first time in a long time.

 

**********

 

Sakura looked down at the piece of parchment in her hands. Two simple words stared back at her, the black ink etching into her soul.

 

 **9 pm** , it read and it took everything in Sakura not to watch her clock in terror as the hour and minute hands grew closer to the time of reckoning.

 

She was scared.

 

No, she was petrified. She simply couldn’t move. She was seated at her dining room table, waiting for Kakashi to arrive. Waiting for their impending conversation.

 

He knew now. He knew _everything_. And now it was her time to explain.

 

She twiddled her thumbs, trying not to think about how it had gone in her office. Having that  _one_ photo out had really fucked her over, but at the same time he had just showed up, completely unannounced. How was she expected to prepare when the only warning she had was his unbearably intoxicating Alpha scent right outside her door? But it hardly mattered anymore. He needed to know, and one look at that frame behind them and he _did_ know. He knew Hana was his. And how could he not? She was basically the spitting image of him, aside from Sakura’s green eyes. Hell, she even had a beauty mark but rather than below her mouth it was above.

 

Sakura let out a shuddering breath and froze once she heard a knock at the door. The knock itself was enough to completely throw her, so she closed her eyes and took in a few meditative breaths to calm herself. Picking herself up from the chair she had been sitting in, time seemed to slow once again as she made her way to the door, which she was starting to find quite ironic now- how many times she found herself in situations similar to this, all involving him.

 

Her on one side of the door. Him on the other. Both battling their inner selves as they would reach for the handle, their hearts pounding so hard they thought they might burst.

 

She bit her lip so hard she drew blood and closed her eyes as she grasped the handle. She slowly pushed the door open and immediately wanted to cover her nose with her sleeve.

 

He _reeked._ He reeked of that woman. His wife. The beautiful Omega who she had seen him with on that balcony, hands clasped in unification.

 

It made her _sick._

She could see the serious look on his face and glare in his eyes. It made her glower. So this is how he wanted to play it?

 

“Where is she?” she heard him ask and she scowled, wanting to slap him so hard his body would spin towards the opposite direction and he could leave.

 

“She’s asleep, obviously,” she seethed, “It’s 9 pm,” she said, turning the other way and he followed after her, bringing that _wretched_ scent into her home.

 

“You seem bothered by something,” he said and she huffed, making her way towards the dining table.

 

“Of course, I’m bothered,” she said, whirling around to meet his smug face, “You have the _gall_ to come to _my_ home smelling like _her,”_ she said and he crossed his arms

 

“She’s my wife,” he said simply and she held back the urge to laugh in his face.

 

“Well that didn’t stop you from basically _humping_ us into oblivion in my office not just a few hours ago,” she said, shaking her head and taking a seat at the dining table she had been at previously.

 

“So what?” she continued as he took his place across from her, “you got so angry at my little secret that you went back and fucked your pretty Omega wife? Sure sounds like something you would do,” she said, feeling her pride go out the window and shook her head, laughing bitterly. Kakashi kept his gaze on her, heated with what she couldn’t tell was anger or desire. Either way, they were both entirely too fucked up for the situation they were in.

 

But the scent was _nauseating._ He had nerve, coming to her house and smelling like that. He didn’t even shower, and his flippant attitude was making it even worse. Unable to stomach it any longer she got up from her chair, taking a few steps away from them as she crossed her arms.

 

“I can’t talk to you like this,” she bit out, turning back around to face him, “you _reek_ of her,” she seethed and he scowled, sitting forward in his chair and resting his arms on the table.

 

“Then why don’t you _do_ something about it, _Omega,”_ he said with just as much bite, fire in his eyes as if he was challenging her, goading her, and it _infuriated_ her.

 

Sakura stalked towards him, pushing his arms away from the table as he leaned back in his chair, his gaze never leaving hers. She threw a leg over his, straddling him in his chair and she growled, the pungent smell of the Omega he had just fucked sending her into a frenzy. Wanting to exude dominance and earn his submittance, she brought a hand up to his head to grab a fistful of hair and tugged aggressively, exposing the gland on his neck. She licked her lips, mouth descending on the pulsing mark.

 

She licked a long stripe up his neck and he shuddered underneath her, letting his body submit as she marked him.

 

“You’re _mine,_ do you understand, Alpha? _”_ Sakura asked and Kakashi groaned against her shoulder, nodding obediently as she continued licking her way up and down is exposed neck.

 

“I’m going to continue marking you until you smell like _me_ and only me because I am the _only_ Omega you should ever smell like this for,” she continued, grabbing the lobe of his ear in between her teeth and he gasped, bucking up into her heat involuntarily.

 

“Tell me you understand,” she said, pulling at his hair more forcefully and he hissed, nodding his head as he looked forward.

 

“You are _mine_ ,” she hissed into his ear, “No matter what separates us or who separates us, you are _my_ Alpha and I am _your_ Omega.”

 

With that last declaration she threw her hands off of him, lifting herself from his lap and watching him slowly bring his gaze to hers, uncertainty wavering as she glowered before him.

 

“I'm sorry,” she said, sitting herself back down on her chair, “I shouldn't have reduced myself to… that,” she concluded and he remained silent, leaning back in his chair as he lowered his gaze to the floor.

 

“No… I'm sorry,” she heard him mumble, face plastered to the floor as he shook his head, “I don't know what came over me. I just… I couldn't believe… I didn't think-“ he said, trying to form coherent thoughts but he couldn't. She knew though. She knew that he felt betrayal. They both did, in that moment. They both shared the heart ache of knowing their partner had betrayed them in some way.

 

What a fucked up mess they had gotten themselves into.

 

Sakura watched him, shoulders trembling and head in his hands. Her heart ached for him and she got herself up from the chair, making her way over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Would you like to see her?” she asked and Kakashi picked up his head, looking at her with a confused look in his eye.

 

“Isn't she-?”

 

“It'll be fine. As long as we're quiet. She's a pretty heavy sleeper,” she said and he stared at her, not giving her an answer. She could sense that he was unsure, so she grabbed his hand and gingerly pulled him up from his seat, leading him over to the staircase and climbing to the second floor.

 

Letting go of his hand momentarily, Sakura switched off the hallway light and turning to their daughter’s bedroom door. Wanting to make sure they remained quiet, she held a finger to her lips, using her other hand to slowly open the door. It made no creak. No sound that would stir the sleeping child and she glanced behind her to see Kakashi staring into the room, still uncertain.

 

Kakashi slowly walked to the door frame, Sakura having moved out of the way and she observed him as he tilted his head, studying the lump that lay on the bed a few feet away from him. She lay a gentle hand on his back, encouraging him to get a closer look and she saw him gulp, nodding his head slightly before walking completely into the room, rounding the twin bed and seeing Hana's face for the first time.

 

The gaze in his eyes changed from amazement to something softer as he stood there for what seemed like centuries. He would tilt his head every so often, getting a better look of the beautiful creature before him. Sakura chuckled softly as she noticed him immediately tense as Hana stirred slightly, but then relax once she settled into a different sleeping position.

 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement, noticing that he was exiting her room. He stepped out quietly and she moved to walk around him, closing the door softly and turned away. Sakura gasped softly as she watched his back, his shoulders beginning to shake violently. All of the emotions. All of the secrets and revelations that had now bubbled to the surface. The crash as a result of those was what Sakura felt in him at that moment. She bounded to his front, watching the tears cascade down his face and he collapsed, gripping her waist and burying his head into her abdomen.

 

“I'm sorry,” he choked out, voice rough and shaking through the tears that fell, “I'm so sorry.”

 

Sakura held him as they cried in unison, left to wonder if they had a handle on anything anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the LONG ASS CHAPTER. 
> 
> Kakashi and Sakura both suck and they're made for each other. 
> 
> Can I get a woot woot for Mei? 
> 
> This is another one of those chapters where you're left with questions. What's with the connection? What does a true pair really mean?
> 
> More to be answered in the coming chapters!


	16. aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi meets Hana, but not in the way he had hoped. 
> 
> Sakura and Iruka feud once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give my sincere thanks to YummyFoods for beta'ing this chapter and agreeing to be my beta for the rest of this story. 
> 
> Please visit her on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YummyFoods/pseuds/YummyFoods
> 
> She's the author of my favorite fic of all time. It's Hellsing, but it's just a joy to read. She is definitely the best writer I know and it has been an honor working with her. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this new chapter. Sorry it took a little while to get out. I was a bit stuck, particularly with Kakashi and Hana's meeting. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

The Sandman had never been kind to Kakashi. Sleep was not a welcome gift. Dreams were persistent nightmares. Tiredness was met with restlessness.

 

Though, tonight of all nights, Kakashi wished for nothing more than the Sandman to show him the kindness of a peaceful sleep. Mind reeling, all he could seem to think of as he lay on the small and far-too-cushy couch was the impending meeting between him and his daughter.

 

She was far too perfect for any child of four years. Upon getting a closer look, he noticed her youthful face had been decorated with a smattering of freckles from the desert sun, as well as how beautiful her stark white hair glimmered when exposed to the moonlight. He knew for certain once he saw her eyes for the first time he’d get lost in their never ending sea of emerald that were just like her mother’s.

_Oh_ , her mother…

 

How Sakura could keep a secret such as this was a mystery to him. How could she keep their _child_ from him? How could she _betray_ him like this?

 

What he had done, what he had supposedly _destroyed_ between the two of them could not touch this.

 

Years of avoiding her, to ultimately _protect_ her from the monster he thought he was, could not touch the years he had lost with his Hana.

_This_ was the ultimate betrayal, and though Kakashi’s love for Sakura was infinite, forgiveness felt foreign on his tongue now that he was faced with the prospect of having to forgive himself.

 

Oh, Sakura…

 

His love. His life. His essence.

 

His ultimate betrayal.

 

No. The Sandman would not be kind to him tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

 Warmth filled Kakashi’s body as the desert sun slowly crept into the home, its rays permeating the space and exposing the dust in the air with its radiant arms. It was not quite dawn, the town still not completely alive with bustling villagers. The birds had just begun to sing their morning songs, perched outside the glass door leading out to the balcony.

 

Eyes still shut, Kakashi shifted slightly, aware that it was maybe time to get up but not yet ready to move his body in any way. The sun’s rays had just emerged to the point of causing a small nuisance, making Kakashi angle his head away from the offending light.

 

Something had gotten in its way instead though. A shadow had been cast along its path and Kakashi shifted once again, eyes still closed as he angled his head back toward the large window.

 

He let out a grunt of annoyance when he felt something poking him so he cracked open a single eye, and then immediately flinched in surprise as his eyes focused on the little girl he had laid his eyes on for the first time not several hours ago.

 

He was speechless. There she was. His little Hana who was clutching a teddy bear to her chest, tilting her head and giving him a suspicious look. Her emerald eyes, though tired, were piercing and he felt as if she were staring straight into his soul. Her beautiful white hair was a tad unruly from sleep, but Kakashi found everything about her painfully endearing, despite having just been woken up by her.

 

“Who are you?”

 

Kakashi blinked in surprise and felt his heart melt. Her perfect voice was music to his ears. The melodic tune left him craving for more as he continued staring.

 

Mouth agape, he allowed himself several moments to take her in, completely unaware of her growing annoyance. Hana frowned as she poked him once more. She placed her tiny hands on her hips with her teddy stuffed under one of her arms. “ _Who_ are you?” the increasingly agitated little girl repeated.

 

Mouth still hung open, he stammered quite ungracefully, trying to form a coherent sentence and not make himself out to be a total _idiot_ or a creep in front of his daughter. He couldn’t think of any sane thing to say, knowing “I’m your father” probably wouldn’t go over well. She seemed far too intelligent already and he wasn’t prepared for _that_ conversation. Especially with Sakura not having woken yet.

 

“U-Uh, well, I’m a friend of your mommy,” he said, mentally slapping himself as he was immediately plagued with thoughts of  him and Sakura digging themselves out of that fib.

 

“Is Uncle Iruka here?” she asked and he fought back the urge to scowl, a feeling of disgust settling in upon hearing his daughter speak his name, as if he were such a normal part of her life.

 

Which he was.

 

He sat up slightly, shaking his head ‘no’ and she huffed, slumping her shoulders as she did so.

 

“He’s the one who usually makes my breakfast."

 

Kakashi stared, a thoughtful look on his face as he considered what she said, unsure of how she wanted him to respond.

 

“Can you make me breakfast?” she suddenly asked and his eyes widened, that nervousness building once more as he felt the stammering threatening to appear again.

 

“What?”

 

Hana let out a small huff of annoyance, “I’m sorry, can you make me breakfast, _please?”_

 

“Well, should we maybe wait for your Mommy?”

 

The little girl shook her head, briefly turning her attention to the stairs, “Mommy usually sleeps in, since she sometimes stays late at the hospital."

 

Kakashi nodded his head once more, leaning down on his arms and clasping his hands together, “Well, what do you usually have for breakfast?”

 

“Ummm…can you make pancakes?”

 

“No.”

 

“Eggies?”

 

“No.”

 

She slumped a bit lower with every “no” he gave her. “Toast and jam?” she asked, and she perked up once he nodded his head.

 

“I think I can do that,” he responded, a small smile on his face as she clapped her tiny hands in glee, bounding towards the kitchen behind them and promptly sitting down at one of the chairs perched by the small dining table in the breakfast nook.

 

Kakashi grunted as he got up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes after another restless night. He padded over to the kitchen and grabbed the loaf of bread that had been sitting on the counter, cutting a few slices with a bread knife.

 

Hana swung her legs out from under her in anticipation, the sight making Kakashi smile to himself as he opened the fridge, in search for jam as his daughter had requested. As luck would have it, the full jar of jam was the first thing he saw upon opening the door.

 

Kakashi finished lathering their bread slices with butter and jam, arranging them on a plate as he walked over to the dining table, placing the plate down in front of her.

 

She grabbed a slice and immediately took a large bite, watching him thoughtfully to the point he felt slightly uncomfortable under her stare.

 

“You have white hair."

 

Kakashi blinked at her sudden observation, “Yes.”

 

“My daddy has white hair, or so mommy says,” she quickly responded and he continued staring at her, for what felt like the millionth time at a complete loss for words.

 

“Your Mommy…talks to you about your Daddy?” he asked, cautious not to give away his identity to her, for reasons unknown to him. He felt like a fool, asking her about her father when he was sitting right in front of her. She nodded her head, taking another bite of her toast.

 

“Mommy says he’s a very important man. I thought he was the man we saw yesterday, but she said no.” He felt his heart clench. “He had white hair too. A lot of people have white hair,” she said thoughtfully and he nodded his head in agreement.

 

“Do you want to see your Daddy, Hana?” he found himself asking, not quite sure why he had asked it but she didn’t seem to pay any mind.

 

“I hear Mommy and Uncle Iruka at night sometimes, talking about Daddy. She cries when she talks about him. She says she misses him. I don’t like when Mommy cries."

 

Kakashi nodded his head once more, thinking about what she had just told him.

 

“Well, I hope you get to see your Daddy soon. You and your Mommy,” he responded and she nodded her head in agreement, swinging her legs from under her as she silently ate her toast.

 

And for a few moments, father and daughter sat and ate in contented silence.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sakura stood under the warm spray of the shower head, leaning her head against the ceramic tile wall as she went through the events of just the past twenty four hours.

 

Kakashi had met Hana that morning. She had woken him up, demanded he tell her who he was and bossed him around to make her breakfast.

 

Kami, she loved that little girl.

 

After waking up herself and finding them in the kitchen, eating in silence, she promptly got Hana ready for her day at the local academy. Once their daughter was gone, Sakura would have continued where she and Kakashi had left off the previous night—

 

—If he hadn’t high tailed out of there promptly after Hana had been picked up by her sitter.

 

Sakura had been under the impression that all was forgiven. He had been on his knees, babbling apologies into her abdomen as they both cried their tear ducts dry. They had been in that position for what seemed like hours, midnight having come and gone and Sakura insisting that he stay the night. He didn't give much resistance, much to her surprise, so she was slightly let down by his fast exit.

 

Sakura sighed, lifting her forehead from the wall and letting the water hit her face. She wet her hair and worked on washing her body, knowing she had a long day ahead. Whether she would see Kakashi, she didn't know, but she couldn't go through her entire day thinking about him and where they stood.

 

A sound emitted from outside the bathroom that roused Sakura out of her thoughts. She moved her head out from under the water, trying to get a better earshot but flinched upon hearing the door to the bathroom open. She furrowed her brow, bringing her hand up to the curtains and pushing them away, revealing Iruka standing just on the other side.

 

A surprised look took over her face, completely having forgotten about him and assuming he had a successful evening with Mei.

 

“Oh! H-Hi… I wasn’t expecting you until later,” she said, trying to keep the conversation light she short. He remained stoic, staring at her as she removed her hand from the curtain, turning her attention back to the running water.

 

“Um… did you have a good time last night?” she called and Iruka grunted, observing his shadow turning towards the sink and leaning against it.

 

“Yeah. I've always liked Mei,” he said and Sakura frowned, feeling a slight pang of jealousy at the realization that everyone seemed to like this woman except for her, though her reason was entirely petty and juvenile. She really didn't know the woman at all and only disliked her because she was currently married to an Alpha who did not belong to her.

 

Quickly shaking her head to banish the thought, Sakura popped the lid off the shampoo bottle and squirted a generous amount on her hand, lathering up her hair as she thought about how to respond.

 

“You didn't come back last night.”

 

“I figured Kakashi would be staying here.”

 

“Well, I guess you figured correctly.”

 

“I guess I did,” he quipped and she frowned, having rinsed the shampoo out of her hair and wrenching the shower curtain open.

 

“What is your issue?” she asked, wet and completely naked before him, an annoyed look plastered to her face as he scoffed and crossed his arms.

 

“You know, I ran into Hana on her way to the academy,” he began, keeping his gaze forward and away from her. “She told me a man with white hair made her breakfast. That he was a friend of Mommy’s.”

 

Sakura frowned and shrugged her shoulders, “So?”

 

“ _So?_ The whole point of me leaving last night was for you all to get your shit together and _tell_ Hana the truth.”

 

Sakura winced, knowing full well at this time this morning she thought Hana would know. She slid the shower curtain completely to the side and grabbed the towel off the towel holder.

 

“I slept in this morning and she woke Kakashi up. What was he supposed to say?”

 

“Maybe you shouldn't have slept in.”

 

“I wasn’t planning on it! How was I supposed to know she was going to get up at the butt crack of dawn looking for _you!”_

 

“Don't you dare spin this on me,” he said, shaking his head and turning to the door of the bathroom, wrenching it open and exiting in an angry haze. Sakura scowled and wrapped the towel around herself, securing it at the front and sprung out of the tub as quickly as possible.

 

“So where were you last night, then? Huh? How was your evening out with the _Mizukage_?” she asked, following him into her bedroom as he let out an exasperated sigh.

 

“It was lovely, actually. She's lovely and the evening was lovely and thank you for asking in such a genuine manner,” he said, crossing his arms and sitting on the edge of her bed.

 

Sakura sighed, leaning on one leg as she stared at Iruka, wondering what she had done to deserve her morning starting like this. “What is going on right now?”

 

Iruka looked about ready to bolt but she moved towards him, desperately wanting to avoid a fight. She sat down next to him and placed a reassuring hand on his thigh but frowned once she felt him flinch underneath her.

 

“Sakura, don't,” he warned and she promptly removed her hand, shooting him a confused look as he took in a deep breath.

 

“You know…when I first came here I was under the illusion that we'd be together forever. I didn't care that your heart belonged to someone else. I just wanted to take care of you. Take care of Hana. But…” he trailed off, lowering his head to his hands and rubbing a tense hand through his hair, “The time I spent with Mei last night made me realize… I just can't do this anymore. I'm doing so much for very little reward,” he said with a sardonic chuckle.

 

“And she feels the same! We’re both in these asinine relationships with people who don't want us!” he said, voice growing louder and causing Sakura to wince and cast her gaze to the ground.

 

“You and Mei talked about it…?” Sakura asked, voice soft and meek.

 

“It was about the only thing we talked about,” he said, and she fought back a scowl, hating how insensitive he sounded and felt a sudden surge of anger overtake her as she leapt from the bed.

 

“So what? You were just shooting shit about us all night?” she bit out, walls completely taken down as she was now prepared for a verbal assault.

 

“We weren't shooting shit, Sakura. We were just confiding in one another,” he said and she scoffed, shaking her head and chewing the inside of her cheek.

 

“So what then? Why are you telling me all of this? What was your end goal here?”

 

“I don't know, Sakura, why don't you tell me what you want? For once just tell me what it is that _you want,”_ he countered, getting up from the edge of her bed and towering over her as she shook her head, biting back tears and suddenly shoving her hands in his chest and pushing him away.

 

“I don't fucking know!” she screamed, tears streaming down her face as Iruka gave her a shocked look, stumbling backward and into her dresser.

 

“I don't know what I want! All I know is a I feel this vicious pull inside me with you on one end and Kakashi on the other. I don't _want_ to _want_ Kakashi but this fucking _thing_ inside me that I didn't ask for is telling me I need him. That I can't live without him. I lie awake at night plagued by dreams of him and what he's feeling. His needs. His wants. It's relentless!” she said, taking a shuddering breath and working through the tears, not yet looking at Iruka.

 

“And it’s only getting worse. This… _possessiveness_ that I feel. Whenever I'm around him… I just can't control myself. I know that sounds completely insane but how do you think I feel?!” she asked, finally looking up and slumping her shoulders in defeat, all of a sudden feeling extremely tired as she sat down on the bed.

 

“I don't know what I want…” she repeated, casting her gaze downward and away from him, “I just know that Hana needs her father. And _I_ need her father. Omega or not… I need him. As much as I don't _want_ to admit it…” she trailed off, hiccuping as she bit back more tears.

 

They remained silent for what felt like hours. Sakura refused to look up, feeling exhausted already and it was only 9am. Shoulders slumped, her heart dropped when she heard him abruptly leave the room. The sound of the door forcibly shutting made her wince.

 

Emptiness set in and Sakura didn't know _how_ to feel. All these years she never felt she had the right answer to anything.

 

Today was no different.

 

* * *

 

 It was only noon and already Sakura wanted to go home.

 

Everything just felt…wrong. Her fight with Iruka that morning. Where she stood with Kakashi. The fact that Hana had met her father without _knowing_ he was her father.

 

What a massive fuck up she had gotten herself into.

 

What made matters worse was she couldn't _feel_ Kakashi anymore. There had always been this buzz in their connection but it was almost as if he were freezing her out. He left that morning without so much as a word or glance towards her.

 

The cold shoulder he was suddenly giving her was driving her crazy, and she knew sooner or later she’d have to get to the bottom of it. Sooner or later they'd have to figure out what _this_ was. What it meant.

 

With an exasperated groan Sakura threw her pen against the opposite wall, cradling her head in her hands as she tried to breathe through her frustrations. She fought back a scowl as she heard a knock from the other side of her door, sniffing the air first and concluding it wasn't Kakashi.

 

Well, if it wasn't him then whoever was on the other side of that door would have to be prepared for an unwelcome greeting.

 

“Come in,” Sakura grunted, eyes plastered to the assortment of papers on her desk as the door slowly creaked open. An exhausted sigh escaped her lips as she lifted her head, eyes immediately widening and body freezing as her nostrils flared.

 

Emerald met by emerald. Omega met by Omega.

 

The tall and powerful woman stood by the door, a small smile on her face as she regarded her fellow Omega, though Sakura did not return her openness in kind.

 

“Hello, Sakura.” Her smooth voice glided across the room to her as she drew closer, and Sakura took a deep, steeling breath.

 

“I think it's time the both of us meet.”

 


	17. not enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei hits Sakura with surprising news that she brings to Kakashi. His reaction is not what she expects.

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Some sort of mad god was conspiring against her, she was sure of it. First, her fight with Iruka. Then, her perplexing relationship with Kakashi, and _now_ … 

 

Sakura scoffed. You just couldn't make this stuff up. 

 

She was still standing there. All prim and proper. Red hair shining and framing her perfect face. Emerald eyes shone surrounded by taut and ageless skin. She hated her. It was irrational, stupid and childish but she hated this woman. 

 

Hated the shimmer in her eye. Hated the kindness she was exuding. Hated that she didn't seem to be affected by this _at all_. 

 

The other Omega put her soft and delicate hands behind her back, gazing around the office space. Sakura could sense she felt the tension as well. She approached the bookshelf Sakura had set up with various medical textbooks and journals, as well as photos. 

 

She took an interest to one in particular, tilting her head as she observed it, "Is this your daughter?" 

 

Sakura fought to roll her eyes but nodded her head. 

 

"She's beautiful."

 

"Yes, she is." 

 

The two stared at each other for a long while. What was her angle? What was she trying to accomplish by just barging in? Sakura didn't know, though she was certain she would have almost _none_ of it after Kakashi came smelling of her the previous night. Her Omega was already restless after that incident. 

 

Mei let out a sigh as she turned to face her, "Sakura-"

 

Becoming increasingly agitated she stood, placing her palms on the wood desk as she fixed the woman with a withering stare, "Look, I don't know what you're doing here, but you've made a mistake thinking you could just show up unannounced. If you think I have anything-" 

 

"Sakura. If you intend to repair your relationship with Kakashi, I think it'd be wise of you to listen to me." 

 

_"Excuse me?"_

 

Mei glided to her desk, arms still clasped behind her back, "I'm not your enemy. I'm here to help. Believe it or not, I am _for_ you and Kakashi." 

 

 _That_ time Sakura scoffed. 

 

Mei wrinkled her nose as a perplexed look spread across her face, "I'm confused. I thought you'd be happy to hear that." 

 

Sakura sat down in her chair, crossing her arms and fixing Mei with an indignant look. "Well let's see, you agreed to the archaic arrangement that the elders so callously came to with. _And_ you were fully aware of Kakashi's emotional state having to be separated from me. And do you _really_ expect me to believe that you are 'for' Kakashi and I? You're joking right? I mean have you seen Kakashi? You've bagged _the_ Alpha. _My_ Alpha." 

 

"Exactly. _Your_ Alpha. Not mine. Sakura, just because you think Kakashi is the Alpha for you doesn't mean he is for me." 

 

Sakura shot up at her response, a confused and pained look on her face, "Then why did you marry him, Mei? _Why_? It would have saved everyone so much heartache if you both just refused with this insane arrangement!"

 

Sakura shook her head bitterly as she felt the traitorous tears threatening to break the seal. "I have been in _agony_ these past four years. Denied it—but it's been there nonetheless," she began and turned to face Mei with a steeled look, "Do you know what it feels like? To be separated from the other half of your _heart_ for four years? To have to leave the night you find out you're pregnant with his child? To have to look at your daughter and see that other piece of your heart _every damn day_?"  

 

Mei maintained her composed stare as Sakura recounted how she felt. "No. I don't. That is absolutely horrible and I can't even imagine." 

 

Sakura furrowed her brow in confusion at her sincerity. "Okay… good?" 

 

"We did this for our villages," Mei explained and Sakura fought the urge to roll her eyes, rounding her desk and bounding for the door. 

 

"You know, the more you talk and try to explain your way through this, the more I feel the need to just kick you out." 

 

Mei turned and Sakura could feel the air shift. Her scent had spiked and Sakura could tell she was becoming increasingly agitated. 

 

_Good._

 

"What? What are you going to say next? Wait, let me guess. Oh, you had no choice. You had absolutely no way to get out of it. It's not like it was a real marriage anyway."

 

"Sakura! Stop. Believe it or not, I didn't come here to explain away my marriage to your mate."

 

Sakura flared her nostrils. "Then why are you here?" 

 

Mei stared at her, a steeled and steady look as she straightened. "I know about you and Kakashi. Everything, really. I guess—I guess I just have some questions about your relationship. As Alpha and Omega." 

 

"As Alpha and Omega." Sakura deadpanned. 

 

"I think you know what I mean."

 

Sakura felt a sinister shiver run down her spine as she turned slowly and fixed Mei a curious look, "What?" 

 

Mei let out a breath that she had been holding and gestured for the door, "Let's go for a walk." 

 

* * *

 

 

Sakura kept looking over to Mei. She couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated. The woman towered over her. She was easily the same height as Kakashi. If she didn't know any better she would had mistaken Mei for one of those rare Alpha women. 

 

Sakura had brought her to a tea shop on the other side of the village, away from the bustling streets and busy shoppers so they could be alone. They walked in silence for the entirety of the trip, Mei looking around and taking in the change of scenery. Sakura figured it must be strange for her, coming from the Land of Mist. 

 

She coughed into her hand, grabbing Mei's attention as Sakura could make out the familiar green tent of the corner tea shop, "So… how are you liking Suna?"

 

Mei shot her a surprised look, "Oh- well, I actually quite like it. It's a nice change from the humidity and it's nice to see the sun every day. I'm sure I'd get sick of it if I stayed long enough. But, I'm enjoying it now." 

 

Sakura nodded her head in understanding, "You know, Hana has never seen rain," she began wistfully, "I always dreamed of going back east one day… and she could witness it for the first time. Maybe even snow." 

 

She looked over to Mei who was smiling down at her, a thoughtful expression on her face.

 

"Well, this is our stop." 

 

Sakura pulled back the dark green drapes, ushering Mei to follow her to a vacant table. The tea shop was relatively empty, so their chances of being disturbed was thin. 

 

They both sat down and fidgeted with their hands as they looked around the shop. Sakura bit her lip, feeling that familiar tension budding between the two of them once again. 

 

"I guess we should just get straight to it," Sakura suggested and Mei nodded her head in agreement. She signaled for someone to come and take their tea order. 

 

Once they got settled with their tea, Mei wrapped her hands around the cup, taking a deep and steeled breath. 

 

"Sakura… are you familiar with reproductive soulmates?" 

 

Sakura watched her, dumbly, "No." 

 

"Well…" she began, taking a sip of her tea, "To start, it's rare. _So_ rare that there isn't much research on it. I'm...well, I'm actually leading some research on this whole 'Alpha, Omega Soulmate' thing." 

 

Mei took another deep, shaky breath, "It would seem that you and Kakashi are biologically compatible, _so_ compatible that it delves deeper than you both being Alpha and Omega. Soulmates emerge from the _cellular_ level. I know it sounds completely crazy but, from what I understand, your body recognizes his as a part of yourself." 

 

Sakura kept staring, trying to process all she was saying, "Okay… can we dial it back? What even spurred this on? I have no idea what any of this means."

 

"Well, the night after Kakashi's address to the village he was in _complete_ distress. Going on and on about how he could feel you even though you were miles away. Could pick you out in that sea of people. Could almost see into your thoughts." 

 

Sakura continued staring, saying nothing as she scrunched her brows. 

 

"Does that sound familiar?" 

 

Sakura paused for a moment, watching Mei warilly. She knew what she was talking about. Knew of the event she was referring to. Knew of the phenomena she had mentioned… 

 

Because she had felt all of it too. Felt the warmth fill her body as if he were standing next to her. The buzzing in her head that made her dizzy. The crooning in her gland that made her weak in the knees. 

 

"Yes."

 

Mei nodded her head and sat back in her chair, a contemplative look on her face. Sakura pursed her lips and clasped her hands together as a confused look crept onto her face, 

 

"Alphas and Omegas have always had a special connection. How is whatever happened any different?" 

 

Mei remained silent for awhile as she considered what Sakura had said. It was true. Alphas and Omegas _did_ have a special connection. It was just a fact. It was in their biology. She just didn't think it went further than that. On a _spiritual_ level.

 

"What do you know about mating?" 

 

Sakura froze, mouth hanging open slightly, "I mean, just the basics I suppose. An Alpha and Omega become mated when the Alpha punctures the scent gland." 

 

"That's right but do you know about anything that comes after that? What mating actually _does_ to your relationship?" 

 

"I don't follow."

 

"Behaviorally."  

 

"Behaviorally?"

 

Mei sat back up in her seat, clasping her hands together and watching Sakura carefully, "What was your relationship like with Kakashi before you became close?" 

 

"Strained. Extremely so."

 

"In what way?" 

 

"Well, he practically did everything he could to avoid me. Ever since my presentation. He'd disappear around corners. Practically scowl if I ever got too close. I thought he hated me." 

 

"And what happened when you did get close?" 

 

Sakura shot her another confused look, "Well… it was amazing. I guess." She smiled as she thought back to her first heat with him. That week of blissful love making and what he'd say to her. "He was so… attentive. To the point of obsession. It was like he had flipped a switch. Like he suddenly couldn't get enough of me. And was ready to kill _anyone_ who got in our way. Even his friends…" 

 

"There. So you would say he was possessive, territorial, even aggressive?"

 

"Yes…"

 

"Sakura," Mei began, smiling slightly and taking a sip of her tea, "Those are traits of a mated Alpha."  

 

Sakura furrowed her brow in confusion, "I… I don't understand."

 

"Oh, Sakura. You and Kakashi have been mated for a very long time. Just not in the way you thought."

 

Sakura's mind was reeling. She didn't know that to think. Still didn't know if she even believed in this soul bond nonsense. But she couldn't deny the pull she always felt towards him. The innate and primal need for him. It had always been there. Even when she was just sixteen… it had always been him.

 

And then she froze. She snapped her mouth shut because it was then that she realized that the answer had _always_ been there. It had been there from the beginning. A large smile spreading across her face that Mei mirrored.

 

"Oh my…" she began, running a shaky hand through her hair, "You're certain about this? That—That Kakashi and I are soul bonded? That we've been mated… since my presentation?"

 

Mei nodded simply, a soft smile spreading across her face.

 

"I-I need to go." Sakura stuttered, leaping up from her seat as Mei turned back to her tea with a contented look.

 

* * *

 

 

A huge smile was fixed across Sakura's face as she bounded down the hallway of the pristine hotel. The walls were an immaculate white that shone brighter as they were reflected by the desert sun. 

 

The shine made by her smile might have had something to do with it as well. 

 

As Sakura made her way to their room she found herself in the same position of when she faced seeing him for the first time in many years. It felt eerily similar. She faced the door, chest rising and falling with the quick beating of her heart. To her delight, she could already scent him through the door. She allowed herself to take it in, resting her head against the cool surface. 

 

Pine. Rain. Sweet grass. And that familiar musk of a man. 

 

It was soon making her delirious and the knowledge that her biological soulmate was just on the other side of the door… it only intensified all of the emotions she was feeling.

 

Sakura yelped as she suddenly felt the door open, forehead disconnecting from the door and falling into the arms of the Alpha she had just been scenting so intently. 

 

"Sakura?" she heard him speak softly, "What are you doing here?" 

 

She hummed against him, reveling in his touch and just _feeling_ his shock and wonderment. He was stiff against her, but his scent indicated that he was holding something back. A small shudder escaped his lips as she brought her head up to his neck, searching for the scent his gland was emitting. 

 

It was anything but dismissive. If anything it was welcoming… though he was holding back. Maybe in hesitation for what was really going on. Why she was there. Why she had showed up unannounced and unbeknownst to him. 

 

"Sakura," he repeated, gently pushing her away from him momentarily to look into her eyes, " _what_ are you doing here?" 

 

A look of longing spread across her face as she was pulled into the black abyss of his soft gaze.

 

"Kakashi…" she murmured, grasping his waist and allowing herself a moment to take him on. She took in a deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to ask. 

 

"Be my mate." 

 

Those same words. The same he had uttered to her four years ago. The same plea in her eyes. The same determination in her voice. 

 

He stared at her, dumbfounded and wonderstruck. Completely unaware of how to decipher the situation. 

 

"Sakura I… I don't understand." 

 

She took a step back, eyes penetrating as she steeled herself, "Kakashi. I love you. I love you and I'm sorry for all of the pain I caused you and I know I can't take back the years lost with Hana, but…" she said, trailing off and searching his eyes for any indication that he still wanted her. 

 

"But, Hana needs her father. _I_ need her father. _Kami_ , Kakashi I need you and I can't live another day without you." 

 

Kakashi stared; unmoving. He seemed to be contemplating her words, chewing the inside of his cheek. 

 

"So please… _please,"_ she found herself begging, searching his eyes frantically. Crossing into panic she grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to her as she began showering his face with kisses. She felt him close his eyes and let out a soft sigh. The grip on her arm softened as he leaned into her touch, seemingly becoming more affected by her.  

 

But she was surprised to find his hands on her shoulders, pushing her away. Sakura shot him a confused look, his scent having been welcoming but now it was… somewhat bitter.

 

She became even more confused when he turned, pulling himself away from her and running a tense hand through his hair. The air around them had completely changed and Sakura felt nervousness stir in her belly. She watched as he walked further into the large room

 

She heard a weary sigh escape from him as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, “You kept my daughter from me.” 

 

“...Yes.” 

 

“You kept me from my child,” he bit out accusingly, “You put another man before me and my relationship with our daughter.”

 

“Kakashi-”

 

“I don’t know how to forgive you for this, Sakura.”

 

Sakura froze, his words putting a halt to any response she had. He slowly turned to her, a forlorn and pained expression on his face, “What did I do to deserve this?” 

 

“Nothing, Kakashi. You don’t deserve this. I just- I _need_ you to forgive me.” 

 

Kakashi shook his head, casting his gaze to the ground and she wanted nothing more than to bolt over to him and scream. Scream for him to come back to her. To let her repair the damage. _Kami_ , she was willing to do damn near anything. A single tear escaped the corner of her eye as she shielded herself with her arms. They were soulmates. They were bonded. Whatever obstacle they were thrown, they _had_ to get through it. 

 

“Do you know who I was with this morning?” 

 

“No.” 

 

Sakura began to pace the room, Kakashi’s eyes following her closely as she let her hands fall beside her, “I was with Mei. She just showed up to my office. Unannounced. Springing me with the idea that you and I may be _soul bonded_. Did you know about this?”

 

“Yes.” he deadpanned. 

 

Sakura furrowed her brow and shook her head, “You knew.” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Anything you’d like to add to that?” 

 

“Sakura I’ve known since you were sixteen that you were my mate. You don’t think I had a pretty damn good idea thatwe were bonded? You don't think I felt that? And what was I supposed to do with that knowledge? Knowing I was bonded to a _sixteen_ year old girl. My _student_. Having to go home right after almost every single one of our training sessions to rub one out? Having to avoid you because it was becoming a hindrance on my fucking life going into rut at the smallest whiff of you? I had a good idea then. What happened at the address basically confirmed it."

 

Sakura had a look of disbelief on her face, "All this time..." she trailed off then let out an exasperated sigh, “Then why didn’t you tell me? All of this could have been avoided if you just told me we were already mated! All of the heartache and lies and secrecy! I mean, _fucking hell_ Kakashi. I left the village because we couldn’t mate! Fucking why-”

 

“Because I wanted you to want _me_!” he roared, ascending the small steps that lead down to the sitting area he had been standing in and stalked towards her, “I didn’t want you to be with me just because we were _soulmates._ I wanted you to love me for _me._ Wanted you to want me for more than just an Alpha who gave you the best fuck of your life.” 

 

Sakura stood frozen to the spot, eyes wide and mouth hung open, “B-But I do want you. Kakashi I love _you._ I want _you,_ can’t you see that?” 

  
“No, Sakura I really can’t. Because you chose fucking _Iruka_ over me. Fuck, Hana would probably believe he was her real dad over me and she’s basically a replica of me!”

 

 Sakura couldn’t stand  to look at him so she turned away, shielding herself with her arms, “Kakashi… I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you by keeping Hana away. I know I hurt you by putting Iruka before you. Or at least making it seem that way. I just,” she paused, raising her head as she tried to find the words, “I thought we were over. I thought I’d never see you again.” 

 

“You could have if you told me about her.” 

 

Sakura let out a pained laugh and shook her head, knowing he was right. She heard Kakashi turn away again, walking back down the small steps leading into the sitting area and patio. Sakura turned to find him leaning against a beam, looking out into the Suna sunset. 

 

“I know we’re soulmates. I know we’re bonded. And I will always love you, Sakura. Always. Maybe we’ll forgive each other for everything we’ve done one day but for now…for now, I don’t think love is enough.” he breathed, echoing the same words he had said when they had that altercation in his office four years ago. 

 

Sakura heard him let out a shaky breath, trying his best not to let out the floodgates just as she tried. The further their discussion led the more Sakura was beginning to realize the gravity of what had transpired between them over the many years.

 

His estrangement of her. Her near hatred for him. Her confusion at his obsession over her once they became close. How quickly he had taken down those walls. And her leaving with the knowledge that she was carrying his child, only to hide her from him completely.

 

Sakura let out another bitter laugh and bit her quivering lip, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it isn’t enough.” she stated and he simply nodded his head, still looking out into the sunset. 

 

“The door to Hana and I will always be open, Kakashi. I won’t deny you of her, and..." she stopped, watching as he brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing it and watching his shoulders slightly shake, "I can only hope that one day we can find forgiveness.”  

 

She didn’t wait for a response. Didn’t want to see his reaction. She could feel herself begin to fall apart as she made haste for the door. She could hear the beginnings of him breaking down himself and it only caused her to run for the door faster. 

 

She wrenched it open and slammed it shut, sinking down against the cool surface and let herself  _wail_ in utter misery _._ Sakura could hear him. _Feel_ him as he sobbed in despair. Shook as she heard his rage on the other side, flipping over furniture and throwing glasses against any surface. 

 

She picked herself up, wiping away her tears as she ran down the hallway. Away from his screams of suffering and grief.

 

What had she done?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been well over a MONTH and I'm hitting you with more pain. Honestly, how could Kakashi just forgive her, ya know? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the bomb that was dropped! These idiots were mated and didn't even know it. 
> 
> Thanks to my girl Yummy for beta'ing this chapter and dealing with my back and forth "the chapter's ready!", "wait not it's not". 
> 
> Next chapter will be a time jump. Not four years though maybe like four months. And I'll TRY not to make you guys wait another month.


	18. among my stillness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months later, Sakura finds herself back in a familiar village.

* * *

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

Five years. 

 

Five years since she set her gaze on the gates of Konoha. Five years since she last saw her friends and family. 

 

So much had changed, and it was only beginning to hit Sakura now. Her sudden disappearance from the village. Half a decade gone. Her only communication to the village being in forms of letters or word of mouth. She left Konoha with no intention of coming back. 

 

And now, after five years, she returned. Toddler in tow. Without any semblance of an explanation. 

 

 _Five_ years. 

 

Five years since she had Hana and wondered if she'd ever see Konoha. For the longest time, she really felt that Hana wouldn't. She was content with raising her in Suna. Content with having a life there. Content with hiding. 

 

But then she had been found. Along with her daughter. And it was time to emerge from the shadows. Emerge from the lie. It was time to right her wrongs. 

 

Sakura clutched Hana's little hand as she stood beside her, staring at the same gates. Iruka was maybe a day behind them, insisting he travel alone. Since the morning of their fight all those months ago, they rarely spoke. On many occasions Sakura would approach him, begging him to tell her how he was feeling. What he was thinking. How he felt about her.

 

She didn't know the answer to any of those because he rarely spoke to her. And when he did it was almost always about Hana and who was talking her where. Or when. It was infuriating. It hurt. 

 

But now they were in Konoha, and it was a new beginning for the both of them. For all of them. Upon Kakashi and Mei's return, everyone knew. Knew of Kakashi and Sakura's prior relationship. Knew of their child. The thought of coming back with her secrets and lies out. What would the village think? What would her friends think? Her mentors?

 

Kakashi was still able to hold his mantle as Hokage, as well as Mei. In the eyes of the Elders, all infractions were made before their marriage. And to everyone's relief, no one was held accountable and Sakura was not made out as some harlot. At least that she was aware of...

 

But she had no choice, really. Kakashi was completely entitled to seeing his daughter, especially after years of being completely ignorant to Hana's existence. And that was entirely Sakura's fault.

 

Hana was still unaware of the fact that Kakashi was her father, and with every passing day it was becoming harder to tell her. Sakura had wrapped everyone up in one huge lie. She barely even knew who she was anymore. It was one thing to shun someone under the impression that you were protecting them, but to _lie_ …? 

 

Sakura couldn't blame Kakashi for not forgiving her. But it didn't change the fact that they were going to be living in the same village. Sharing custody of their child. Surely he knew they would need to interact. And then there was the issue of her heats...

 

"Mom?" she heard, the little girl next to her tugging on her hand and breaking her out of her circling thoughts. "Are you ready?" 

 

Sakura looked down at her daughter, a nervous energy around her as she nodded her head. 

 

"Yes." 

 

* * *

 

Kakashi stared out towards Konoha, arms crossed and eyes scanning the sea of people crowding the streets. He was a fool, thinking he could find even a sliver of pink and white in that abyss. 

 

And yet he still tried. Why? Because he missed them. _God,_ he missed them. No matter how much he told himself he couldn't forgive, he knew he could. Knew he _would,_ at least one day. 

 

Maybe. 

 

He brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing the tension away as he closed his eyes, envisioning the two girls. 

 

His girls. 

 

A small groan escaped his lips as he heard the door to his office open. He turned to find Mei standing in the doorway, looking as radiant as ever. She had a small and sympathetic smile on her face as she stepped further into his office. He turned away from the window to face her completely, returning her smile. 

 

"They've arrived." 

 

It was then that his breath stilled, fists balled at his sides as he gulped down a nervous breath. 

 

Mei clicked her tongue and crossed her arms, fixing him with a leveled look. "You knew this day would come. There's no running anymore." 

 

"I know that, Mei." 

 

"You've come a really long way. I'd hate for you to go back to your past ways and shut her out again." 

 

Kakashi growled inwardly, stalking towards her and pointing at his chest. "She kept my child from me. She put another  _man_ before  _me._ " 

 

He could practically feel Mei rolling her eyes at him. "Yes, but she did it with good intentions. You never got her full story." 

 

"I don't need it." 

 

"That's called being small minded." 

 

"So what? You think I should just let it go?" 

 

_Yes._

 

Mei put her hands on her hips, a defeated look on her face. "Where is it getting you right now? All of this anger? This pent up aggression? It's done nothing and will continue to do nothing unless you actually start doing some introspection."

 

Kakashi let his head fall back, growing tired of the back and forth banter. "Like what?" 

 

"Like," Mei began, taking a breath, "accepting what happened, recognize that you yourself were a factor in it, process, then move on. For you _._ Not for Sakura. Not for Hana. For _you._ "

 

Kakashi paused, turning his attention back to the window as he closed his eyes. He considered what Mei said, knowing she was right. Of course she was right. There were only so many times they could replace his desk. So many times he could put his heart through such strain over and over again. If he wanted to truly move on from his past then now was the time. His family was there. His only _real_ family. And if he couldn't be with Sakura right at this moment then he could at least settle for his only child. 

 

"I never had any intention of closing the door on Hana. She's my child."

 

"Maybe consider leaving it cracked for Sakura."

 

Kakashi paused as he watched Mei warily. The thought of shutting Sakura out of his life sickened him. But for some damn reason he couldn't shake the feeling of dread when he was around her. The reminder that she put another man before him. 

 

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose, irritated already. "Alright." 

 

Mei let out a contented sigh as he stepped away from the window, anticipation now buzzing through his body as he stood at the center of his office. He placed his hands behind his back and stared at the door. It had only been a few months and he already felt sweat beading on his forehead. The buzzing of his gland not making things any easier. 

 

He held his breath as the door opened and revealed the familiar waves of white hair bounding through the doors. 

 

"Kakashi- san!" 

 

Despite his previous melancholy mood he couldn't help the beaming smile that spread across his face. Hana charged up to him, arms outstretched as she took a running start into his arms. He eagerly brought her into his embrace, lifting her off of the ground. The giggle that he drew out was like medicine for his heart as he laid his eyes on Sakura. She was standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a similar soft smile on her face as she watched the scene before her.

 

Kakashi turned his attention back to the ball of energy in his arms. "I missed you, Hana- chan." 

 

The sound of Sakura's footsteps padding towards them caused him to lift his gaze up to hers. It was the first time he set his eyes on those intoxicating emerald depths. Those beautiful orbs he suddenly fell in love with one day during training. All those years ago.

 

"Hi," she murmured softly, watching her gaze fall on the bundle in his arms.

 

"Hi."

 

Hana giggled between the two and sunk further into his hold on her. "Are we playing today?" 

 

Kakashi maintained his heady stare on Sakura as he watched her nod her head at the two. "You both can play today. I have some unpacking and other things to do." 

 

But Kakashi felt himself hesitating. He wanted nothing more than to spend the day with his daughter, but he couldn't help himself from the Alpha in him needing to be close to its mate. He could control it to an extent, but there was no denying that it was there. He berated himself constantly when he reminded himself of it. That he was being a fool for alienating her once more. 

 

But before he could even get a word in Mei cleared her throat. "Well, I have some things I need to attend to before I head back to Kirigakure. But I'll be back in two days."

 

Sakura nodded her head, clasping her hands in front of her as Mei exited the room. Kakashi unclenched his jaw as he set Hana down, patting her on the back to go explore around the office. 

 

"I trust your journey went smoothly?" 

 

Sakura nodded her head and crossed her arms in front of her. "Yes. It was uneventful."

 

"Good. That's how you want it to go."

 

Watching her from the corner of his eye, he could tell she was nervous. She was picking at her nails and chewing her bottom lip as she focused intensely on their daughter. 

 

"Sakura-"

 

"I need a favor," she began, brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "I know it's a lot and we only just got here but I have some obligations next week. Do you think Hana could stay with you?" 

 

Kakashi shot her a surprised look. A whole week? "Well, I suppose that's fine. But, would that be appropriate? Considering she doesn't know…?" 

 

Sakura shook her head, "Kakashi, she loves you already. I'm sure she'd have a wonderful time." 

 

Kakashi nodded his head, considering her words. But what could she possibly be doing that she would need him to watch Hana for a week? Surely she wasn't already stuck with night shifts at the hospital? If that was the case he could just override them.

 

And then it hit him. Her heat. She needed Hana to stay with him for a week because of her  _fucking_ heat. 

 

Kakashi's eyes darkened on hers. He watched her cast her gaze away, scenting her nervousness and observing her shifting her gaze.

 

"Kakashi. Don't-"

 

"Sakura, you can't go through with it alone, I won't-" 

 

"I won't be alone," she bit out, shooting him a glare. 

 

Kakashi worked his jaw, anger seeping through every crevice of his body. "Oh?" 

 

Sakura shook her head as she crossed her arms. He was about to open his mouth once more but her eyes widened slightly, shooting him one final look before turning her attention back to their daughter. 

 

"Hana, get off the desk!" 

 

Kakashi closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, trying his best to calm himself as he felt his Alpha rearing its ugly head. He could feel his gland itch unbearably as thoughts of his mate with another Alpha flooded his mind. No matter how hard he fought it. 

 

He wanted nothing more than to rip his office to shreds. To let his Alpha go full tilt and destroy everything in his site. 

 

How dare she come into his office, asking him to watch their daughter while she _fucked_ the living daylights out of some other Alpha. How dare she get angry with _him_ when he would say yes in a heartbeat.

 

He was ripped out of his thoughts when he felt Hana tugging on his hand. "I want to see the village!" 

 

Kakashi worked his lips as he stared at Sakura. She must know what he was thinking. Must know that he didn't approve in the slightest. That she was hurting him beyond belief and she hadn't even been there five minutes.

 

But did she even care? Just look at how callously she responded. As if it didn't matter. As if their connection meant nothing to her.

 

But then what did that say about him? 

 

Kakashi shook his head, fearing he was about to go down a rabbit hole with another broken desk at the end of it as he turned his attention to the bundle of excitement next to him. 

 

"Of course, Hana. We'll go right now." 

 

Hana beamed up at him and threw her fist in the air, cheering as she dragged him towards the door.  

 

Kakashi couldn't help but shoot Sakura a disappointed and judgment filled look as he breezed past her. He could only hope that she felt the same as him. That underneath she didn't want to do this. That she wanted him. Just as he wanted her. 

 

* * *

 

**1 week later**

 

"I wish you would had told me." 

 

Sakura fought the urge to groan, grabbing the last of her clothes from the box sitting on her bed. "I know. And I truly am sorry."

 

"I wouldn't have judged you or anything." 

 

Sakura nodded her head wearily, turning her attention to the blonde leaning against the wall next to her closet. "Maybe _you_ wouldn't have. I can't say the same thing for everyone else." 

 

Ino waved her hand. "It's biology. You can get away with damn near anything now." 

 

"Logically; yes. The powers that be know that. But you know who doesn't? This village and every other nation. So, yeah."

 

"Maybe you-" 

 

"Ino!" Sakura shot, her patience and sanity running thin as she turned her attention to her fully, "I appreciate your support, but Kakashi and I are done. Too much has happened and soulmates or not, sometimes it's just not enough. I'm sorry I kept it from you. I really am. If there's anything I regret most it's not telling all of you."

 

Ino cast her gaze to the ground, a wistful look in her eyes as she nodded her head. Sakura could feel it too. The overwhelming sadness in the air as she stalked back to her bed, dropping herself down onto it in defeat. 

 

"Sometimes love just isn't enough." she stated, echoing Kakashi's words as she placed her hands on her lap. 

 

A week had passed in almost an instant. Hana was adjusting to Konoha just fine, much better than she originally thought. And now that it was already time for her scheduled heat she found herself in the odd predicament of finding a place for her to stay, so soon after their arrival. Hana had only met Ino twice and Iruka had prior obligations. That really only left one person. The thought of having to tell Kakashi sickened her but seeing it out with him was just not an option anymore. They had used and dried each other to the bone. Exhausted one another physically and emotionally. 

 

It had her more depressed than ever. All she wanted was for them to be a happy family. A unit. And she could have had that. If she were honest from the very beginning, right from when she left him at the gates all those years ago.

 

Maybe things would be different…

 

"What's done is done. Hana will stay with him the rest of the week and…" 

 

Sakura sighed, bringing a hand to her temple and rubbing it in exhaustion. 

 

"But you can't honestly say that you want this. I know I'm just a Beta, but... you guys are mated. Doesn't that mean something? 

 

"We are. And it does. I guess?" Sakura felt her resolve slowly snapping as exauhstion set in. "But what choice do I have? We've barely spoken. He looks at me with such discontent. I just…" the tears well up in her eyes. It was all too much. Talking about it out loud she realized just how fucked up it really was. How she was going completely against her biology. 

 

With a finite nod Sakura lifted herself up from the bed, looking towards Ino and crossing her arms, "It is what it is. I'm meeting him tonight."

 

To her relief Ino shot her a nod of acceptance. She couldn't ask for Ino's blessing. She didn't expect her to have any. Sakura just wanted for her to accept the situation for what it was.

 

It was just a transaction. Like Mei's heats with Kakashi. That's all it was… 

 

"Well," Ino began, extending her arms and offering Sakura a warm embrace. She eagerly took it, closing her eyes and inhaling the comfort scent of her shampoo. She couldn't deny how odd it was, being home and having this conversation with her lifelong friend."If you change your mind and decide to do what you _should,_ I certainly don't mind watching Hana."

 

Sakura nodded her head against Ino's shoulder, giving her one more squeeze before letting go. As Ino pulled away and led herself towards the bedroom door she turned to face her. "I just want you to find happiness in this, Sakura. I've missed you and-" she cast her gaze to the ground, "I'd hate for you to up and leave again. Okay?"

 

Sakura smiled softly, regarding her friend with a nod of understanding. "I have. And I won't. I promise." 

 

She was referring to Hana, of course. And it was true. Hana was a beacon of light and hope in Sakura's otherwise dark and dreary world. She was the reason to get up in the morning. The reason to come home with a smile on her face.  

 

"I'm always around." 

 

* * *

 

Kakashi watched intently as Hana dug into the lunch he had picked up for them. It was the day Sakura was expected to start her heat. He picked up Hana that morning, completely under the spell of her beaming smile and excitement to stay with him for the week. But the excitement that was mirrored onto him soon faded once he saw Sakura emerge from the hallway. 

 

He couldn't even look at her. Couldn't speak to her. The thought of her spending the entire week with another Alpha pulled at his heart, threatening to rip from his chest. 

 

Kakashi looked down at his daughter as she ate away, the little girl almost a mirror image of him. It was both strange and satisfying, walking around the village with her and passer-bys commenting on how she was the spitting image of him. 

 

No one mentioned her mother. Not one mentioned Sakura. Whether he was thankful or not, he was unsure. Though he was thankful that it had been quite some time since she was his student. So it wasn't entirely odd, especially given their designations. 

 

He worked his jaw as he looked out to the training fields, memories of Team 7 flooding his mind as he could make out Sakura's figure in his imagination. How her body had changed once she presented. How he couldn't stand being within several feet of her in fear that he'd lose it. Lose it and scare her and reduce himself to the monster her saw himself as. 

 

"Can I see under your mask?" 

 

Kakashi blinked as he was broken out of his thoughts. He chuckled at his daughter's question, bringing a hand to his covered chin and rubbing it in thought. "What do you think you'll see?" 

 

"I dunno. Your face." 

 

Kakashi raised a brow at her. "Just my face? That's boring though." 

 

Hana's face scrunched up in a displeased look. "Then why do you cover it?" 

 

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm a trendsetter."

 

That answer seemed good enough for Hana, her shrugging her shoulders as she continued to dig into her lunch. He watched as a quizzical look set across her face once more.

 

"Are you and Mommy fighting?" 

 

Kakashi froze. He stared down at her as he was faced with another complicated question. Kakashi wanted to open his mouth but found he couldn't speak as his daughter pressed more. 

 

"Are you angry with Mommy?" 

 

Kakashi furrowed his brow. "What? Why would you think that?" 

 

"You won't talk to her. And she cries when you don't talk to her. I wish you would talk to Mommy… so she wouldn't cry."

 

Kakashi worked his jaw, watching as his daughter stared at her food. "Does it upset you? That I don't talk to Mommy? Uh- _your_ Mommy?" 

 

Hana shrugged, still staring at her food. And just that simple gesture caused something in him to snap. That look of hopelessness. That loss. 

 

And it was  _he_ who instilled that. _He_ who upset Hana like that. Upset Sakura. 

 

He felt his shoulders start to quake. How did everything become so fucked up? He could tell Hana was looking at him with concern in her eyes. Watching a grown man with tears streaming down his face. He felt her move towards him, placing herself on his lap and wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. 

 

It was the embrace he didn't know he needed.  

 

And then he heard it. The sweet word he had been waiting so long to hear. The word he had been anticipating any time she would curl into his arms or greet him with that infectious smile. 

 

"It's okay, Daddy." 

 

* * *

 

Sakura smoothed down the skirt of her dress, giving herself a once over in the mirror. A long sigh escaped her lips as she observed the forlorn figure in the reflection. She didn't know this person she was staring at. Didn't know where she came from or who she had become. 

 

She was completely different than who she was when she left Konoha. She left with an open heart. An open mind. She wanted to see the world and forget the past. Forget what made her leave in the first place and try and be happy. 

 

But this person- the woman she was looking at was not that same young girl. Now she was a liar. A cheat. A harlot who was about to go make a transaction just to satiate her hungry Omega. 

 

She missed Kakashi. She missed him more than she could articulate into words. It was almost painful. Like she had lost a limb. But she assumed that was what it felt like, to be constantly apart from your soulmate. 

 

It would be wishful thinking, sharing this heat with him. The euphoric pleasure she would feel from him being inside her again. How he would fit so perfectly against her like a puzzle piece. Like they had been destined all along...

 

But she could only imagine. Only dream. Dream of his hands exploring her body. His soft lips marking every inch of her skin. His teeth scraping and nipping as he worshiped her like the goddess he saw her as. 

 

Sakura was torn from her thoughts as a knock sounded at her front door. She could have sworn she told her 'date' to meet at the restaurant they had agreed on. Maybe she had gotten it wrong? 

 

Smoothing down her skirt she gave herself one final once over, nodding her head in approval as she stepped out of her bedroom. Sakura felt herself growing anxious as she watched the door come closer and closer into her view. Confusion set in once she picked up on a familiar scent. A scent she had tried to eradicate from the house not a few hours prior. 

 

Hesitating at the door, she grasped the handle and took a deep breath. She turned the knob and pulled the door open, eyes immediately widening as her gaze fell on him. 

 

"K-Kakashi?" 

 

He stood in front of her, donned in his typical black and grey ensemble, mask tucked down to his chin and hands shoved in his pockets. 

 

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "Where is Hana?" 

 

"Are you really finding someone else?" 

 

She froze, perplexed by his question. "What? Where's Hana?" 

 

"With Ino. Sakura-," he repeated, taking a step forward and glowering down at her, "Are you _really_ finding someone else?" 

 

"Someone else?"

 

He let out a bitter laugh. "For your heat." 

 

Sakura squeezed her mouth shut and steeled herself. This was it. She couldn't go on like this anymore. Couldn't wait for him. Couldn't hide behind the facade they had created. Even if they were already mated. They deserved to move on and at least _try_ to find happiness if they couldn't with each other. 

 

"Yes. In fact," she said, checking her watch, "I was just about to leave."

 

"No, you're not." 

 

Sakura's eyes widened and breath stilled. "Excuse me?"

 

"You're not seeing your heat with someone else." 

 

"I-I'm not?" 

 

Kakashi shook his head, extracting his hand from his pocket and reaching for her hand. 

 

"Then- then who?" she asked, voice so soft as her eyes began to feel heavy. His Alpha pheromones hugged her body as he pulled himself closer to her. That familiar heat pooled in her belly and licked at her skin. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt his unmasked face hovering over hers. The sweet breath from his lips tickling hers as she whimpered at his closeness. 

 

"Me."

 

Kakashi kicked the door closed and their lips met in a fiery and passionate kiss. A kiss she had been waiting half a year for. A kiss she was sure to never experienced ever again. 

 

The last five years flashed before her as her hands tangled in his hair, fisting the familiar silver locks. Tears brimmed the corners of her eyes as she let out a soft sob against his lips. He pulled away, smoothing the hair from her face and brushing her tears with his thumb. 

 

"Kakashi, I-" she hiccuped, bringing her hands to his face and biting her quivering lip.

 

"I know," he murmured, bringing his forehead to hers, "I know." 

 

"Is this really happening?"

 

Kakashi smiled down at her, cupping his hand around her cheek. "Only took us our entire lives to get here." 

 

Sakura let out a soft laugh before bringing him down again, needing to feel his lips on hers. She felt his thumbs brush at the wetness of her cheeks but he didn't let go. The sobs and gasps and sighs she emitted all got swallowed up by him. Every breath. Every sound. 

 

She melted against him and there. _There._

 

There was where she let go. Let go of the past. The exhaustion. The pain. 

 

And there, among the stillness. Wrapped in his arms. All she felt was _them_. 

 

Together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second to last chapter, guys. 19 will be the end. 20, 21, and 22 will be epilogue chapters because I've put you all through enough and you need something happy. 
> 
> They'll mostly be tying up loose ends, like Mei and Iruka as well as some kakasaku family moments. 
> 
> Next chapter will be sweet sweet sweet heat sex and proper mating, which I've yet to do in any of my ABO fics. Even though they're already technically mated because of the soul bond, they still gotta get that love bite ;) 
> 
> Anyway, I'll leave my sappy goodbye end-of-story message for the next one.


	19. was a pounding heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Sakura reconcile and share another heat, forcing him to look back on all of the years and many regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by Cassieeeeanne

 

*

*

*

*

*

 

 

This Omega was different to him now. Her body was different. Her scent was different.  _ Everything  _ was different. 

  
  


But she was still Sakura. His love. His mate. Mother of his child. And he somehow found that he loved her even more for it. 

  
  


They hadn’t yet made it to her bedroom before completely stripping themselves of their clothing, different articles strewn around her kitchen and living area. He covered her entire body in wet kisses and reveled in all the different noises he would draw out of her. All very familiar. All very  _ real _ . 

  
  


It was not long after his arrival that her heat consumed her entirely. It was as if that simple interaction and his closeness triggered her. Ignited the fire that threatened to lick her insides with one brush of his skin against hers. A smirk spread across his lips as he knelt before her, kissing up her toned legs and letting his tongue drag up towards the apex of her thighs. He listened intently as her breath hitched under his torturous teasing. 

  
  


His hands gripped her legs and he couldn’t help but be brought back to a time he had forever blocked from his waking mind. Bound to the prison in his subconscious that was filled with forbidden memories of her presentation. Of the  _ sick  _ and  _ twisted  _ images that plagued him upon watching his sixteen-year-old student all those years ago. 

  
  


But as his rut and her heat consumed them, he allowed the floodgates to open. Allowed for the memories to wash over him. Allowed himself to envision her in all of her leggy teenage glory. Allowed to feel his cock twitch in delight at the image of her stretching before him. Her scent practically choking him as he helped her through her exercises. And before he knew it the image of the training ground consumed him as he worshipped the same woman before him. 

  
  


_ “Kakashi-sensei, can you help me with my stretches?”  _

  
  


_ His breath stilled in his throat as her scent washed over him. Threatening to smother him and prevent air from circulating through his body. He gulped down a nervous breath as she lay on her back, lifting a perfectly toned leg and bending it to her chest. She let go and raised it, waiting for him as she held its position in the air.  _

  
  


_ His nostrils flared and his body shook as he approached her, eyes not able to resist roaming her supple but strong body. Travel down her toned leg and let his imagination wander as it settled… elsewhere.  _

  
  


_ It was just like any other training day when he would help her through her stretches. Only today was  _ completely  _ unlike the others. Whether she was aware of it yet or not, he wasn’t sure. But it was apparent to him, better than anyone, that she had fully presented as an Omega between the two times he had seen her.  _

  
  


_ And her scent was the most stimulating and invigorating he had ever encountered in one. It was almost unnatural how intoxicating it was.  _

  
  


_ And the thoughts that immediately followed frightened him. Rocked him to his core. Made him feel like a sick  _ fuck. 

  
  


_ “Kakashi-sensei.” she crooned once more and  _ fuck  _ why did his Alpha mind have to percieve it in that way? _

  
  


_ He positioned himself in front of her, grasping her leg with both of his hands as he leaned into it. Small grunts escaped her and he wished now more than ever that they could cut their training short.  _

  
  


_ He needed to leave. Couldn’t take the sounds she was making. Couldn’t take the fucking  _ smell  _ began filling his body and going straight to his aching cock.  _

  
  


_ But  _ fuck  _ did he think about it later. Thought about lowering himself onto her with her leg up like that. Ripping off those black shorts and red skirt and burying himself to the hilt. Burying his cock so fucking deep and listening to her scream for his knot. Surrender to her Omega because she didn’t know any better.  _

  
  


_ So innocent she was.  _

  
  


_ So corrupt was he.  _

  
  


_ She didn’t deserve him. Didn’t deserve the sick and demented Alpha that he was. Didn’t deserve to be mated to someone who would’ve fucked the living daylights out of her against a fucking tree if he could. Stripped her of that tease of an outfit and taken her then and there. Her Omega cunt squeezing the life out of him.  _

  
  


_ Kami. He could only imagine.  _

  
  


_ Imagine her little coos. Gasps. Shrieks. Moaning his name over and over.  _

  
  


_ “Kakashi… Kakashi…” _

  
  


“Kakashi…” 

  
  


He had crowded her against the wall, bringing both of her hands together above her head. Legs wrapped around his waist. The tip of his cock grinding against her core. She jerked against him but he pressed closer as to still her movements. She whimpered but he silenced her by bringing his lips down to hers. 

  
  


"I want you to come for me, baby." he murmured into her mouth. "Come just from this." 

  
  


Sakura groaned long and low, writhing above him and his cock dipping into her heat  _ just  _ enough. His command seemed to ignite something within her because it wasn't long before her walls were fluttering around his tip. 

  
  


Before he knew it she dropped down to her knees, legs spread and fingers fucking her cunt while her mouth engulfed the entirety of his length. Breasts bounced deliciously from his vantage point as she bobbed up and down. Moans and grunts filled the room as she pistoned her cunt and he fucked her mouth. 

  
  


Kakashi felt his legs start to shake as he grew harder, if that were even possible. He couldn't come like this. Couldn't cum without being buried deep in the place where her fingers were filling instead. 

  
  


_ Fuck  _ he needed to be inside her. Couldn't stand just looking down at her. Cheeks hollowed. Sucking the living daylights out of him. Letting him fuck her mouth as rough as he wanted. He had imagined it so many times and he was a sick fuck then but he couldn't get enough now. 

  
  


_ Avoiding her had become a daily hindrance.  _

  
  


_ Disappearing into an alley. Booking it up a dirt path. Hiding behind a sea of people.  _

  
  


_ He could smell it. He always had. The hurt. Confusion. Inadequacy.  _

  
  


_ And it destroyed him. Destroyed him to his core. Knowing that he was the reason for her inner turmoil. The reason her scent was always so muddled with such depression that was honestly quite unlike her.  _

  
  


_ And he had to live with that guilt. Had to constantly deal with the negative ramifications of his decision to avoid her. Cut her out of his life completely. No matter what it did to their relationship. No matter how much she hated him in the end. _

  
  


_ But he knew she didn’t. Deep down knew she  _ couldn’t.

  
  


_ So many times he would smell her. Just the faintest little whiff of honeysuckle and his cock would instantly strain in his pants. The sudden need to rush to his apartment consumed him. His clothes already soaked and sticking to his body. Cranking the shower ice cold and fisting his cock with thoughts of her flooding his mind. It was always her. Would forever be her.  _

  
  


_ It didn’t matter who else he fucked. The countless amounts of Omegas he’d bring back with him in replace of her didn’t matter. It would never be enough.  _ They _ would never be enough.  _

  
  


_ He needed her. And it fucking ripped him apart.  _

  
  


_ So he kept living like that. Either riding out his ruts with the help of his hand or buried in an Omega. Or two. Fuck, even three and it still wasn’t enough. And he didn’t know how long he’d be able to live like that.  _

  
  


Kakashi’s eyes practically rolled to the back of his head as he massaged the back of her throat. He wasn’t even moving. His cock just sat there. In her mouth. Pulsing as she massaged her tongue along it. Spit dripping down the sides of her mouth as she warmed his cock. Her little moans vibrated throughout her mouth as she continued to play with herself. 

  
  


“You like that, little Omega?” he crooned, cock stuffed in her mouth as he smoothed the hair from her face. She panted around him, eyes straining from her efforts. “You like your mouth stuffed full of my cock?”

  
  


He watched as she nodded her head, a small laugh escaping him as he let his head fall back. If he didn’t prefer her Omega cunt this would be a close second.  _ Very  _ close. Her mouth was hot and tight, just like the pussy that was clenching around her tiny fingers. He could practically  _ feel  _ it. Feel the emptiness she was feeling at her fingers just not being enough for her. 

  
  


Because she needed cock. Needed  _ his  _ cock. His Alpha cock and his knot so that he could fill her  _ over  _ and  _ over  _ and-

  
  


“Take me to the bedroom.” 

  
  


Kakashi brought his gaze back to her, not even noticing that her mouth was now free of his cock and blowing the hot air of her mouth onto his tip. He nodded his head and scooped her up, legs immediately locking around him as their lips connected. Their tongues met in a passionate dance as they ground into one another. Cock threatening to bury deep within her with every turn of their hips. She gasped into his mouth, allowing him to swallow up every little sound she let escape as he continued to tease her opening.

  
  


He needed to move both of them before he lost control. They had been against that wall for far too long and his resolve was slowly breaking down with every gasp that escaped her and every slip of his cock into her waiting heat. 

  
  


Kakashi securely grabbed each of her asscheeks in his hands, peeling her away from the wall and ascending what he assumed to be the hallway. Their lips remained fused together with her arms wrapped around his neck. But she soon began to pepper his face with kisses, trailing from the scar on his eye to his cheek to his jaw and-

  
  


_ Fuck.  _

  
  


A low groan escaped him as her lips found  _ that  _ scar. He shivered, the memory permeating his mind as she licked methodically. Like she was making up for the times she couldn’t have before. Could have healed him better if he hadn’t been so stubborn. So focused on getting as far away from her as possible. Maintain the distance he had obsessively put in place all those years. 

  
  


_ The blow to his neck had come as a complete surprise.  _

  
  


_ Kakashi applied pressure to his neck as he leaned against the tree, doing his best not to lose consciousness. He was trying his best to get away from the one person he had been maintaining a healthy distance from throughout this whole  _ blasted  _ war.  _

  
  


_ “Kakashi-sensei!” _

  
  


_ Fuck _ it wasn’t even that bad _.  _

  
  


_ Blood gushed from the wound.  _

  
  


Alright, maybe it was _.  _

  
  


_ He felt himself collapse to the forest floor, his vision blurring and eyelids growing heavy. A small set of arms turned him on his back and the scent hit him like a heavy pile of bricks. He could feel himself scowling at the fact that he couldn’t breathe through it. He didn’t have it in him to react to the excruciating pain emanating from his neck. He just needed to get away from  _ her  _ before he died of asphyxiation before the blood loss. _

  
  


_ “I need to lower your mask.” _

  
  


Like hell she would. 

  
  


_ He turned away from her. Actually  _ turned  _ his head to avoid revealing his face to her and possibly sensing her scent spike, resisting the need to take her on the forest floor while bleeding out.  _

  
  


_ But alas she did. Lowered his mask and  _ touched  _ his neck. Not just touched. Gingerly wrapped her dainty hands around the muscle and applied delicious pressure. Sent her cooling and soothing healing energy into him.  _

  
  


_ It was worse than torture. Having her that close after not having uttered a single word to her in years. He could see the hurt in her eyes. See the confusion even as she focused on healing his neck. See the tears he could have sworn he saw permeating her perfect emerald eyes. And not out of fear for his livelihood. But by his unfair treatment of her. Then and now.  _

  
  


_ He turned away, not being able to take it any longer.  _

  
  


The memory washed away as he lowered her to the ground. Her legs unwrapped around his waist but she continued her assault on his neck. He grasped her shoulders, urging her to stop and turn towards the bed. A confused look took the place of her heady stare as his hand pressed against her back. She bent, slowly and until her front was chest was flush against the mattress.

  
  


Seeing her prone in front of him... it was everything he had ever dreamed of. Her wriggling ass straight up in the air. Slick dripping down her legs and  _ fuck  _ it took everything in him not to slip his cock into her heat. 

  
  


She was willing and waiting. All too eager for him but he wanted to wait. It was asinine and went against everything he wanted right at that moment. But he knew the moment he drove himself home and into her sweet pussy would be when he made her his. Completely and forever. 

  
  


“Kakashi...please.” he heard her perfect and melodic voice beckon as he ass swayed back and forth in front of him. His cock twitched in delight upon seeing the eagerness of her heat. The clench of her walls. The gush of liquid that escaped her and lubricated her pussy lips. 

  
  


Kakashi trailed his hand along the curve of her ass, watching as her back arched deliciously. “Don’t you want me to continue taking my time? I want to  _ worship  _ you, little Omega.” 

  
  


Another delicious shiver ran down her spine as he bent towards her back, planting kisses along with it. His fingers ghosting just above her sex…

  
  


“But I could go fast too…” he cooed against her spine as he suddenly thrust two fingers into her aching cunt. She gushed and clenched around him at the sudden intrusion but her head shot up in delighted surprise. “Could take you right now. Your ass in the air and waiting for me. I could do it.” he continued as he pistoned his fingers into her dripping heat. “Could fuck you into this mattress until I made an  _ impression.”  _

  
  


His other hand wrapped around her front to pluck at a nipple and she lowered her head to the mattress. She was a mess below him. Writhing and panting and grunting as she could do nothing but take it. Take his assault as she was reduced to putty below him. 

  
  


But he needed to taste her. Needed to taste the sweet nectar of his heat before he allowed himself to do anything else. His fingers continued on with his assault as he lowered himself to his knees, her pussy a breath away from his waiting mouth. He gave one slow swipe of his tongue and her legs practically quaked. A hum escaped his lips as he wrapped his lips around her clit to create a soft suction. 

  
  


“ _ So  _ much sweeter.” another suck. “Than I remember.” 

  
  


“ _ Oh fuck, Alpha.”  _

  
  


The sound of his designation coming out of her mouth made his cock twitch and he could already feel the precum practically soaking him already. He knew he couldn’t be here long. He would probably fucking die first. “You want me to keep going, little Omega?”

  
  


Sakura whined out her response, nodding her head furiously. He continued sucking, releasing only a few seconds in between to lap his tongue along her slit in one long stroke. “Good.” he growled against her soaked folds, removing his fingers. “I want my jaw to permanently  _ ache _ by the time your heat is over.” he teased her opening with his tongue, pushing into her folds ever so slightly. 

  
  


And then he pushed into her as deep as he could. His nose practically rubbed her clit with how deep he was and  _ fuck  _ her slick was practically leaking from the sides of his mouth. A low growl escaped him as he held her legs to secure their shaking. He wanted her on the edge. Wanted her to feel like she was about to break and lose it before he ripped her from it again. 

  
  


“ _ Please, Alpha- oh, oh, oh- right there. Yes!” _

  
  


When he felt a jolt run passed her he ripped himself from her and she practically  _ wailed  _ in discontent. But she was immediately silenced and let out a different kind of wail as he leaped onto the bed, quickly and  _ finally  _ burying himself deep inside her. 

  
  


Her back bent into a near ninety-degree angle and he wrapped his arms around her stomach, hoisting her up and against his back. She immediately wrapped an arm behind her and around his neck, practically pulling him into her gland. 

  
  


It was  _ right  _ there. Ready. Waiting. Just begging him to sink his teeth and stake his claim. After all these years. After all of the tortuous ruts in her absence. All of their missed opportunities when he thought the stars have finally aligned for them. 

  
  


But she was there now. After years and years of blending and avoiding. Years of running from something he didn’t know would want him just as much as he wanted her. No,  _ needed.  _

  
  


And it was waiting for him _ right there.  _

  
  


_ He was shaking. He could feel it.  _

  
  


_ Cowering on the floor and doing his best to cover his nostrils. Her scent had reduced him to a wounded wolf, whimpering and rooted to the spot. _

  
  


_ And she just  _ had  _ to come closer, didn’t she? Had to worry for him and kneel on the floor along with him. Didn’t she know how dangerous this was? How foolish it was for her to think she could just comfort him now without him practically lunging for her and taking her right on that sterile floor? _

  
  


_ He knew that if this continued it would happen. The worst-case scenario would have ended in him mating her right then and there. Him slamming her down onto the exam table. Ripping that excuse of a nurse’s uniform from her body. Marking her entire body with his tongue and his teeth. So that she wouldn’t be able to have  _ anyone  _ else. Because she belonged to him. And  _ only _ him.  _

  
  


_ And then she had to  _ climb _ on top of him. The closest they had been since she bandaged him up when he nearly died on that forest floor. Nearly died because she was so fucking close to him and he couldn’t do anything about it. Her scent practically suffocating him and trembling in agony as he could do nothing but scowl at her.  _

  
  


_ He didn’t know what it was then. What it was that kept him from hurtling himself out that window and running again. He really hadn’t, because everything he had been avoiding managed to happen in a span of fifteen minutes. Him getting a glimpse of her neck. Their scents spiking. The realization that the want and lust brewing between them was mutual.  _

  
  


Very  _ mutual.  _

  
  


_ And  _ Kami  _ when she started purring. His perfect little Omega had begun to purr in contentment on top of him and he swore it was the best thing to happen to him in his entire life.  _

  
  


_ But her  _ neck.  _ Her glistening and pulsing gland had been staring straight at him and  _ fuck  _ what he wouldn’t give to sink his teeth into it. His rut was slowly rearing its ugly head and he knew his time was limited. He needed to leave. He needed to tell her to go before he did something he would regret. Something  _ she  _ would regret. Maybe… _

  
  


_ Mate Mate Mate _

  
  


_ But it was right in front of him. Pulsing below his breath. He had tasted it. Taken that sweet nectar with him. With him to haunt him for the rest of his days.  _

  
  


_ Mate Mate Mate  _

  
  


_ Her gland was  _ right  _ there. Wanting. Waiting. It would only take him opening his mouth once more… _

  
  


To sink in. 

  
  


_ Mate Mate Mate _

  
  


And he finally did. His teeth broke that precious barrier and sunk into her waiting gland. Bore his soul and very essence into her. Bound himself to her forever.

  
  


Claimed her.  

  
  


Sakura moaned wildly as he remained attached to her neck, continuing with his methodical rocking. That arm that had been hooked around him in desperation pulled him closer, voice breaking and crying at the deepened connection in that state. He was on the brink of tears himself, the feel of his teeth in her and the surge of emotions that ran through him completely throwing him off guard. He had only been able to imagine. To  _ dream.  _ But now it was real.  _ Very  _ real as he continued rocking into her. 

  
  


She remained relatively comatose as he continued rutting into her, his thrusts becoming more powerful as her blood trickled into her mouth. 

  
  


He finally pulled himself off, arm wrapped around her stomach as he continued to hold her close to him. His rut had completely taken over as his eyes darkened, the high of their mating completely consuming him. “You’re not coming on anyone else’s cock but mine for the rest of your goddamn life. Do you understand?” he crooned into her ear and she screamed in affirmation. “I’ve marked you, and now you’re  _ mine.”  _

  
  


There was no reason for him to say any of those things, but the moans and gasps that escaped her were all the reason to continue as possessiveness took over. 

  
  


“Say yes.” he urged, hand lowering from her stomach to find her clit, rubbing in fast and circular motions. 

  
  


“Yes.” he heard her choke, head falling back against his shoulder. 

  
  


“Say, ‘yes, Alpha’.” 

  
  


“Yes, Alpha!”

  
  


“Don’t hold back, little Omega,” he growled, grasping onto her hips as he continued pounding into her from behind. “Want to feel you clench around me when I knot you.”

  
  


He could feel his knot swelling and her walls beginning to contract around him. That perfect spot he hit with every thrust. “Gonna knot you and fill your pretty pussy with my cum. Make a  _ mess  _ of you. Mark you with my spend. Because you’re  _ mine.”  _

  
  


Sakura wailed his designation and came undone around him. He fucked her through every tremor, not far behind her as he grit his teeth, thrusts wild as his knot locked onto her. 

  
  


And with one final snap of his hips, he bottomed out, seed spilling into her. The first of many times he’d be filling her womb with his warm spend. 

  
  


Kakashi trailed kisses from her sweat and blood covered shoulder, licking up any trace he could find. She coo’d in contentment as he did so, angling her neck away so he could continue with the gentleness of his aftercare. Shudders wracked through her body as he kept spurting his seed deep inside her womb. 

  
  


And it was in the stillness of that moment, locked together, that his mind gravitated back to Hana. He allowed for them to collapse onto the bed, him embracing her from behind and kissing her hair. 

  
  


“I want another one.” 

  
  


“Hmmm?” 

  
  


“One day…” he murmured into her hair. “I think Hana would make a great big sister.” 

  
  


He felt her nod. “I’d like another one too.” 

  
  


“Not yet though.” he whispered and continued kissing her head. “Having Hana when you did… it wasn’t fair to you.” 

  
  


“Kakashi…”

  
  


“Sakura, no. I need to say this.” 

  
  


His knot had finally let up and he felt her stir. She turned to face him, porcelain skin glistening in the moonlight and emerald gaze focusing on him and the tone of his voice. His nostrils flared and he took a deep and steeled breath. 

  
  


“I never said I was sorry. Not truly, anyway.” he began, watching her open her mouth but he silenced her by bringing her into his embrace. Her breath tickled his chest as he rested his chin on hers. “I never said I was sorry for being so reckless with your heat. Knowing we were already mated… I shouldn’t have done that. We were already in a rocky place because I had pushed you away. Then knocking you up… and having to go through with it all by yourself. I know why you didn’t tell me and I know why we have so many regrets.  _ So  _ many.” 

  
  


He could feel tears permeating his chest and her body start to quake against him. He sucked in a heavy breath, trying to compose himself. “But pushing you away all those years… is up there with the worst of them. And I  _ need _ you to forgive me.” 

  
  


They were both a tearful mess as they held one another, bodies shaking and sniffling together. Emotions from the past and the high of their claiming wracked through them as they processed it together in one tearful moment. 

  
  


“I don't regret it.” he heard her hiccup against his chest and he brought a hand between them, tilting her chin up towards him. She bit her quivering lip as he gazed into her wet eyes. “I wanted you then. I want you now. I  _ always  _ will.” 

  
  


“I want you too.” he murmured, their breath puffing against one another and he leaned down towards her lips. As they kissed he tasted the salt in her mouth and on her tongue. The weight and burdens they had both been carrying seeming to fall around them as they embraced. 

  
  


“And I’ll never stop.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote. 
> 
> Wow. I can't believe it's over. I actually cried a bit at the end there. 
> 
> This was my second story I ever posted to the archive. My first ABO. Now 5 months out I have 2 more and possibly many more to come. I owe a lot to this story, and it's bittersweet that it's over. 
> 
> I hope this story resonated with you like it did for me. And it's not *technically* over. We've still got 3 epilogue chapters but I'll be doing those on my own time and when I feel like it. As I've said previously, they'll mainly be tying up loose ends and I may throw in a little breeding kink chapter because, honestly, I wouldn't be me if I didn't truly end this with another crazy kink of mine. 
> 
> So, I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of the people who have read this story and left so much love. Especially through the heavy angst. 500+ kudos and 13k hits? That's just craziness and I truly don't feel like my writing deserves it, but hey I'll take some liberties where I can. 
> 
> Seriously can't thank you all enough. 
> 
> Love, Ila.


End file.
